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silentinbetween
Member
- Apr 30, 2018
- 44
I haven't posted in a pretty long time, but my birthday is always the worst day of the year for me and I missed the forum.
A lot of things have changed, I went to college and really really tried to find a reason to live. I met someone I really liked and had my heart broken, and the breakup kinda sent me on a downward spiral. More than the breakup itself, I ended up doing a lot of... self destructive shit and had to face the fact that none of the reasons I had wanted to ctb in the first place had been resolved. It's been about a month now, and combined with the usual shitshow that is my birthday I'm pretty hurt.
i have a year left now until I reach the deadline that I've had since I was 15. I'm going to try to stop myself from ctb. I'm gonna try therapy, try again to be happy, but god, I'm tired. Any words of encouragement would really help me... it's hard to try when you're tired and all you want to do is curl up and die.
A lot of things have changed, I went to college and really really tried to find a reason to live. I met someone I really liked and had my heart broken, and the breakup kinda sent me on a downward spiral. More than the breakup itself, I ended up doing a lot of... self destructive shit and had to face the fact that none of the reasons I had wanted to ctb in the first place had been resolved. It's been about a month now, and combined with the usual shitshow that is my birthday I'm pretty hurt.
i have a year left now until I reach the deadline that I've had since I was 15. I'm going to try to stop myself from ctb. I'm gonna try therapy, try again to be happy, but god, I'm tired. Any words of encouragement would really help me... it's hard to try when you're tired and all you want to do is curl up and die.