Venting It takes on average 8 years to get over an ex!

[KillingPain267]

Nobody told me this. I can't wait this fucking long just to feel normal again!




"Moreover, very anxious people tended to have longer-lasting bonds with their exes."

So since I'm an anxious person it's gonna take me even longer!

I don't want to waste a decade in torture. I'm so done. This is bad news, worse than I even anticipated.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I've never had it that bad. 3 years was the max for me, and after about 2 years, I was considerably better. Other break-ups have usually been 6 months to a year. Just gotta wait out those "love chemicals" to wane some.

 

[KillingPain267]

I've never had it that bad. 3 years was the max for me, and after about 2 years, I was considerably better. Other break-ups have usually been 6 months to a year. Just gotta wait out those "love chemicals" to wane some.

The love chemicals have waned, but I still don't have any purpose to continue living. I guess the survival chemicals got detsroyed in the process too. I don't if they can recover.

 

[Raven2]

Took me about 18 months after a very long relationship, then I got into another relationship so I was distracted. The 2nd relationship we wasnt together long, under a year, I didnt love him so I got over that one within a few weeks.

 

[Forveleth]

Yeah I think my longest was 2-3 years. 8 seems excessive. I wonder if that is because we have social media now and it is easier to keep tabs on exes so they stay in your mind.

 

[deadbidaylight]

Yeah I find it hard to believe 8 years…that's crazy.

I think it depends on the breakup, the level of attachment, and how the relationship ended. There's no golden rule on how long it takes to feel better again.

 

[CatLvr]

That's fucking insane!! Once it was over (either I told them, or they told me) that was is. Did I miss them?? Sometimes. Did I sit around and stew in it? Oh HELL NO.

In fact my husband now tells me that once "a certain line is crossed" I'm a cold fucking bitch. (He should know -- he crossed it. ) Yes, I am still with him but it is definitely out of convenience. (What?? I was a maid, mother, concubine and financial planner, along WITH my full-time job for 20+ years. He came home from a 40-hour workweek, sat on his ass and bitched and watched tv. I've earned every goddamn dime of that pension and I'm not giving up a single solitary dime of that money. So now, because he's too lazy to do his own housework, he can just deal with me and my "cold" 'tude. He knows where to find a girlfriend -- again -- if he wants another one.)

 

[KillingPain267]

Took me about 18 months after a very long relationship, then I got into another relationship so I was distracted. The 2nd relationship we wasnt together long, under a year, I didnt love him so I got over that one within a few weeks.

My marriage was 8 years, they were my first ever love. After 2 years the thought of being with a new person is still abominable, and not fair to that potential new partner as I would be paranoid, and cannot trust anyone again.

 

[Raven2]

My marriage was 8 years, they were my first ever love. After 2 years the thought of being with a new person is still abominable, and not fair to that potential new partner as I would be paranoid, and cannot trust anyone again.

Yes I understand, it was my first love aswell, together for well over 10 years. thought we would be together until the end but it was not to be.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I find that's a very interesting study because I've always heard the " official" answer is that it takes half the amount of time that you were with the person to get over them. I've always thought that was absolutely insane. It definitely affects some more than others. It took me like 15 years and it was over a four month relationship! Like I just couldn't get over not only him but how emotional the whole situation was.

 

[KillingPain267]

I find that's a very interesting study because I've always heard the " official" answer is that it takes half the amount of time that you were with the person to get over them. I've always thought that was absolutely insane. It definitely affects some more than others. It took me like 15 years and it was over a four month relationship! Like I just couldn't get over not only him but how emotional the whole situation was.

I read it would take, and I should give myself, about 2 weeks to get over it. I really believed it and it gave me some hope. Boy was I wrong!