Venting it sucks to be me, hey

[d3ad]

I have always struggled when it comes to relationships, especially romantic and sexual ones. For years, I have been mocked for that. They even made memes about me Facebook and in varsity I am also a subject of ridicule for that. "You cannot satisfy a man." "You suck." "You are boring." Those words replay in my head everyday, and that is one of the reasons why I want to ctb. What these people don't understand is that depression, anxiety and neurodivergence make it hard for me to be the "perfect" girlfriend. I have read dozens of articles, watched dozens of tutorials and I still can't get it right. Even my ex who promised me heaven and earth and was very supportive and more understanding initially left me for another girl. He lied and mistreated me emotionally later on in the relationship. They are happy, and she doesn't have any of the issues I have. My heart just dropped and sank watching them walk together. He was taking her out. They were walking in front of me, and we all live in the same place. I have to watch them together everyday, while I am dying inside.

 

[pain6batch9]

How insensitive of him. After this, the least they could do is take steps to actively avoid you, you shouldn't have to watch them. I'm sorry, I have some idea how crippling this can be. I've seen Exes with their new guy. It's like a kick in the stomach. You start thinking weird thoughts like, 'how are they better then me' etc...

But there is a bright side here. You couldn't count on the guy. He showed himself to be unreliable, unfaithful. Now, you're rid of him. (Chewed your arm out of that bear trap.) As painful as it is, and I know it is, you're definitely better off without him.

 

[d3ad]

How insensitive of him. After this, the least they could do is take steps to actively avoid you, you shouldn't have to watch them. I'm sorry, I have some idea how crippling this can be. I've seen Exes with their new guy. It's like a kick in the stomach. You start thinking weird thoughts like, 'how are they better then me' etc...

But there is a bright side here. You couldn't count on the guy. He showed himself to be unreliable, unfaithful. Now, you're rid of him. (Chewed your arm out of that bear trap.) As painful as it is, and I know it is, you're definitely better off without him.

Thank you so much. This means a lot to me.
I'm also sorry about your own experience. I hope you are feeling better now.

 

[Ironborn]

For most people relationships and their attributed social cues just come naturally, they work instinctually.
I always ended up overthinking things or misreading the situation.
This led to me seeking more casual affairs with little emotional investment, not ideal but it was less intense and I could relax more.
You're not alone in this, plenty of folk struggle with it.