It seems like I have it all, and I still want to CTB

[tidal1]

I'm always lurking around on a bunch of threads, and it really does seem like objectively people are going through much more difficult things than I am. I've had so many advantages and privilages offered to me almost all throughout my life, and yet I am still desperately wanting to CTB. It feels like a personal failure that despite having all these advantages, I can't get it together to be happy or thrive. It feels like there is just fundamentally something wrong with me at the core.

 

[Smelly_ballz]

Me too. I would have had life written out for me if I wasn't born all fucked up.

 

[UnwillingSavior]

I relate so heavily to this. I am constantly shut down for complaining about my problems from both my providing parents and loving S.O. I feel like I'm not allowed to self-pity or feel bad about anything, cause why should I? I feel so shut out. I literally have problems arguing with anyone, even friendly headbutts can cause my throat to tighten and my eyes to water. Because of this I can't vent to anyone (except this community, who I'm grateful for) and thus, I can't take it anymore. I'm unable to talk about my inner thoughts and anguishes, and they are piling up and tearing me apart from the inside out.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Beyond affording some PeRsPeCtIvE it's not really relevant what other people's lives look like. If you're feeling suicidal you already are in a worse place than most people anyways in a certain sense. I feel like a waste of certain advantages too but through no fault of your own you can have obstacles that are as natural to you as those advantages and that make it very difficult to make the most of those advantages. In any event, there is nothing in the world that gives people surefire immunity from despair and despondency, as ample cases have shown.

 

[Oathkeeper]

Wild how I was just thinking about this.
Amazing family and friends. Stable, good job, albeit one I'm not passionate about. Roof over my head. Physically fit. Active sex life.

And yet I am a fucking mental disaster. I've just lost too much of what I wanted for the future. Hurt too many people I love. Amazing how one could have so many things going for them, and care about none of it.

I really wish I could take the blessings of my life and give them to somebody more deserving.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that wanting to die is always a valid way to feel, and when it comes to other people we all experience existence differently after all, in my case I'd prefer to cease existing over any kind of life.

 

[lionetta12]

I'm always lurking around on a bunch of threads, and it really does seem like objectively people are going through much more difficult things than I am. I've had so many advantages and privilages offered to me almost all throughout my life, and yet I am still desperately wanting to CTB. It feels like a personal failure that despite having all these advantages, I can't get it together to be happy or thrive. It feels like there is just fundamentally something wrong with me at the core.

The time when I had the most things and pretty much everything I'd ever wanted, was the time I was the most suicidal ever in my life.

 

[hellispink]

You dont owe anything to nobody. Your pain is your pain. You are allowed to want to leave even if u got privileges. Life is shit regardless of position. Some people conform to this shir existence others dont. Nothing wrong with wanting to exit this hell.

 

[vuberpoot1]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, we all have our invisible struggles here and usually extra money / more friends isn't a magical fix to them.

 

[redeyepiranha]

I feel you, existence can destroy anyone regardless of their privilege. Depression is a bitch, too many people are miserable.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, we all have our invisible struggles here and usually extra money / more friends isn't a magical fix to them.

Yeah, we see it all the time with people who are at the "top" in society who have what many would be willing to do literally anything for, they still have everything and yet they struggle.