I
imdoneandidontcare
Member
- Feb 19, 2022
- 7
I had posted elsewhere explaining my depression but left out my ctb thoughts. This one guy said to me "if you're already feeling hopeless, waiting to see what the next day brings won't hurt".
Really? It won't hurt. Because every single day seems pretty miserable to me. And my family is starting to get burned out with me so not only do I have no much crap going on, I have no one to talk to or even just give me a hug.
I'm sitting here in the hospital with my dad and actively trying to talk myself out of not going home and putting my head through my hanging setup I have left up. Like… why not? Every day is worse than the day before. Every day people get more tired of me. Every day I have less grip on my emotions. So… why not? Every day is getting worse, how much more worse does it need to get until I can just say "I give up!"
Today is worse than yesterday. Yesterday was worse than the day before. In the past 38 days since my life went to absolute shit, every day is worse.
So… my excuses if staying alive are slowly running out. And my fear of the unknown of death is starting to fade… so, why not.
Really? It won't hurt. Because every single day seems pretty miserable to me. And my family is starting to get burned out with me so not only do I have no much crap going on, I have no one to talk to or even just give me a hug.
I'm sitting here in the hospital with my dad and actively trying to talk myself out of not going home and putting my head through my hanging setup I have left up. Like… why not? Every day is worse than the day before. Every day people get more tired of me. Every day I have less grip on my emotions. So… why not? Every day is getting worse, how much more worse does it need to get until I can just say "I give up!"
Today is worse than yesterday. Yesterday was worse than the day before. In the past 38 days since my life went to absolute shit, every day is worse.
So… my excuses if staying alive are slowly running out. And my fear of the unknown of death is starting to fade… so, why not.