Venting it never stops and im so tired

[ceriseange♡]

I don't know what to do. I just got back from a trip (I mean literally just stepped through the door of my apartment) and im already having a breakdown on my kitchen floor because I got asked about what to do for university. I have a month. I have a month to figure it out but my gpa is shit but if I don't ill disappoint my dad and im just. Im so tired. Im so tired of feeling like this. I really want to be a normal daughter and a normal person but im just not built right. I just want to be happy like everyone else and. I can't even of that right. im just really scared for the next few months and idk what im going to do at all and sometimes I just wanna ctb now and get it over with but I don't wanna fucking traumatize anyone.
im really sorry for the long ramble and its not all about school this is just kind of what triggered me tonight.

I just never stop being sad and scared and Im so so tired.

 

[carnivalforone]

im meant to be going to uni in february, and its december and i still dont have my student visa. i might be fucked but if it ever gets too bad ill just ctb. its okay to be sad and scared. your gpa cant be worse than mine. here , try to get into a community college do one term and get your grades up then transfer to a better school, u have a while to figure out what you wanna do with your life and community college is cheap as well so youre not really down much. you have time to figure things out and if its ever too much you can talk to someone on here, we'll listen and understand you. its okay to be tired youre doing your best. good luck and take care

 

[ceriseange♡]

im meant to be going to uni in february, and its december and i still dont have my student visa. i might be fucked but if it ever gets too bad ill just ctb. its okay to be sad and scared. your gpa cant be worse than mine. here , try to get into a community college do one term and get your grades up then transfer to a better school, u have a while to figure out what you wanna do with your life and community college is cheap as well so youre not really down much. you have time to figure things out and if its ever too much you can talk to someone on here, we'll listen and understand you. its okay to be tired youre doing your best. good luck and take care

thank you so so much for your kind words ;; <3 community college is one thing im kinda scared for because I already tried to do that and it only tanked my gpa even more :( ill try and do my best, though
so sorry you're struggling as well, sending you lots of love and strength

 

[warm dreams]

I'm from Russia, so I can't fully understand your experiences since we have different educational systems. But I had a similar case in my life. In our country, no one cares what grades you have: the most important thing is the exams at the end of school. Only by the results of the exams can you understand whether you can enroll or not. The whole life of the younger generation comes down to the results of this exam. The younger generation is scared that if they fail this exam, they will not be able to realize themselves in life and the like. We have a lot of suicides because of this. And to be honest, I myself wanted to commit suicide because of this.

But I want to convey to you that this is not the most important thing in life. To live happily, you don't have to live up to your parents' expectations, study in a good place, or be an excellent student. Everyone has their own path to happiness and it's okay for it to be different. But I don't advise you anything, you have the right to decide what you really need. Best wishes!

 

[carnivalforone]

thank you so so much for your kind words ;; <3 community college is one thing im kinda scared for because I already tried to do that and it only tanked my gpa even more :( ill try and do my best, though
so sorry you're struggling as well, sending you lots of love and strength

yesyes do your best, sadly you would have to improve and kinda put some effort into schoolwork and grades which like most of us on this sub you're probably out of effort by now. but i mean it would be the biggest step towards improvement and recovery. thank you for your kind words it means a lot:)