It feels strange.

[BlackMoon]

I just thought about it again, but it feels so appeasing and weird at the same time, when you're suicidal since so much years, to have finally your ticket for an eternal peace under your eyes.

Since I received it at home, I can't refrain myself from feeling already in a sort of tranquility of mind when I think about my unsealed ticket. I think about it multiple times a day, I'm not even sure to have realized completely how much I'm close to my sole realist dream.

I don't feel entirely dead inside yet, so I guess my SI could still appear. But I'll do all I can to suppress it for good. I hate knowing this stupid thing can still exist in me and prevent me to realize my fate.

I still don't know when I'll be good to do it. One week, one month, one year. But now I know I'll be able to do it in a quite peaceful way. Thanks to SaSu to have prevented me to do an impulsive, painful, and risky attempt.

I love you all, I would be more sad, desperate, unstable without you and all your good knowledges and ressources.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I just thought about it again, but it feels so appeasing and weird at the same time, when you're suicidal since so much years, to have finally your ticket for an eternal peace under your eyes.

Since I received it at home, I can refrain myself from feeling already in a sort of tranquility of mind when I think about my unsealed ticket. I think about it multiple times a day, I'm not even sure to have realized completely how much I'm close to my sole realist dream.

I don't feel entirely dead inside yet, so I guess my SI could still appear. But I'll do all I can to suppress it for good. I hate knowing this stupid thing can still exist in me and prevent me to realize my fate.

I still don't know when I'll be good to do it. One week, one month, one year. But now I know I'll be able to do it in a quite peaceful way. Thanks to SaSu to have prevented me to do an impulsive, painful, and risky attempt.

I love you all, I would be more sad, desperate, unstable without you and all your good knowledges and ressources.

I get you. Same, before I discovered Sasu my options were pretty much limited, and might have been relegated to a spot on the evening news on a slow news day.
Thanks to Sasu, it feels..better? i guess, and not so hopeless. Ironically it's a bit more exciting when it think about it at times.. Kinda like how youre prepping for a week long vacay or something.

 

[Adûnâi]

It's nice to have an anchoring point, an Ariadne's thread of sorts - if things grow unpalatable, you leave, but if life remains sufficiently stable, you're just content that the choice is within reach.

 

[redcarpet]

Find happiness.
It will take time.
Don't do anything on impulse.
Be safe.

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine it must be such a relief to have access to a peaceful method, best wishes.