illusive sweets
There’s not enough candy in the world, I need more
- May 16, 2024
- 11
everything in my life is going well, I'm on good terms with my family, I have an amazing boyfriend, work is going great, my friends are the best and I've been doing so good lately. Somehow everything is going downhill in my head.
I just want to live a normal stable life but I can't, why am I not allowed to feel happy and fulfilled. I'm always so empty, nothing is fun. I can see that objectively I should be happy and grateful for the life I'm living but I can't.
I always have the urge to hurt myself, it feels like having something crawling under my skin begging me to do whatever it takes to end it all. It feels like im destined to die, like dying is my only option. I have these thoughts that I can't control telling me to just do it, how I can do it, why I should do it. At this point I'm not even sure they're my own thoughts, they never stop I even dream about dying. All I can do is pretend everything's fine but I know it's not, I'm just waiting for when I give up and try to commit again. And maybe this time i will be successful
I just want to live a normal stable life but I can't, why am I not allowed to feel happy and fulfilled. I'm always so empty, nothing is fun. I can see that objectively I should be happy and grateful for the life I'm living but I can't.
I always have the urge to hurt myself, it feels like having something crawling under my skin begging me to do whatever it takes to end it all. It feels like im destined to die, like dying is my only option. I have these thoughts that I can't control telling me to just do it, how I can do it, why I should do it. At this point I'm not even sure they're my own thoughts, they never stop I even dream about dying. All I can do is pretend everything's fine but I know it's not, I'm just waiting for when I give up and try to commit again. And maybe this time i will be successful