Venting It doesn't make sense anymore

[Painless_end]

I want to die because the way I experience my current reality doesn't work out anymore.

And it's just too dead end. It's too problematic.

I wanted the happy and pleasure stuff without the sacrifice stuff. I couldn't deal with it anymore so I eventually quit my job. Now there's no happiness anymore.

I hate living. I am not interested in anything. I wish I had never been born so I wouldn't have to voluntarily take on so much darkness everyday.

 

[time2fly]

100% feel this. i've come to the conclusion that nothing was ever supposed to make sense. who are we, (simple humans) , to believe that we were ever supposed to be the ones to understand something as complex as the universe and life. I think existence is nothing but a bunch of jumbled up jigsaw puzzle pieces and we are supposed to try to put them together to make a picture.... but they are all mismatched and we don't know what picture we are going for. you can spend forever trying to match up the wrong pieces or you can accept that there is no picture to be made.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it can certainly be so tiring and dreadful feeling trapped in an existence that's not worth enduring. In my case I despise existing in every single way possible and of course I also wish that I never existed at all. I view never existing to be the most beneficial and best thing possible, as I see no value to suffering unnecessarily in a world where we potentially have to struggle so much to voluntarily free ourselves from it all.

 

[Meaninglessness]

For the past 120 years, people have had too much time before death. Life expectancy is over eighty in many countries. In the 1800s and before that, people were as exposed to weather and dangers as wild animals. Most of these people didn´t have time to think about death - not for years as we do anyway. They had long working days and went home to eat and sleep. People didn´t live that long - people died of diseases which we now can cure and many women died in childbirth. In the modern society, people live protected in houses and modern medicine keep us alive longer than our grandparents.

Everything is limited in time. We are all going to die and with the passage of time, we will all be forgotten. Humans are like little meaningless test subjects on this planet. You don´t know who you are and what you are expected to do. You have been born into a family that forces you to live, but you have no obligation to live. Our laws and regulations are made up. How can you understand reality when you live in the cave of Plato? People find meaning in meaninglessness - otherwise they can´t bear to live on. Death is so scary and horric that people deny it. People´s minds can´t cope with the meaninglessness of life. People do everything they can to create immortality: have children, write a book or start a war. But their existence is absolutely meaningless! How many people have lived and died without realizing their own meaninglessness - rich and healthy people who never have suffered?

 

[Himalayan]

For the past 120 years, people have had too much time before death. Life expectancy is over eighty in many countries. In the 1800s and before that, people were as exposed to weather and dangers as wild animals. Most of these people didn´t have time to think about death - not for years as we do anyway. They had long working days and went home to eat and sleep. People didn´t live that long - people died of diseases which we now can cure and many women died in childbirth. In the modern society, people live protected in houses and modern medicine keep us alive longer than our grandparents.

Everything is limited in time. We are all going to die and with the passage of time, we will all be forgotten. Humans are like little meaningless test subjects on this planet. You don´t know who you are and what you are expected to do. You have been born into a family that forces you to live, but you have no obligation to live. Our laws and regulations are made up. How can you understand reality when you live in the cave of Plato? People find meaning in meaninglessness - otherwise they can´t bear to live on. Death is so scary and horric that people deny it. People´s minds can´t cope with the meaninglessness of life. People do everything they can to create immortality: have children, write a book or start a war. But their existence is absolutely meaningless! How many people have lived and died without realizing their own meaninglessness - rich and healthy people who never have suffered?

I think they thought about death too. Suicide isn't exclusive to our time.

 

[Pluto]

I think they thought about death too. Suicide isn't exclusive to our time.

True. Historical average life expectancy has partly been low due to high infant mortality rates, and partly due to disease. Modern medicine/agriculture combined with a heavy-handed anti-euthanasia culture and apathy towards ecosystem destruction (blame religion or capitalism if you please) can go a long way towards explaining the uncontrolled population growth post-1800. Wars have tended to only accelerate population growth.

I wanted the happy and pleasure stuff without the sacrifice stuff. I couldn't deal with it anymore so I eventually quit my job. Now there's no happiness anymore.

I don't know what to say here. I used to be like this. Then eventually I accepted the futility of the situation and began tolerating awful work and endless sacrifice. I feel like even this got me nowhere. The final assessment is that I was set up to fail from the get-go. From this perspective, I can truly say that nothing makes sense. Most people at least have the luxury of a worldview that at least appears to function.