I've been off the site for a few months thinking that'd keep me in a less negative headspace and whatever tf nonsense I convinced myself with at the time, So now I'm here to tell you , Months later, It does not get better. I've tried every "solution" under the sun (Therapy and medication for 19 months, hell I was even locked up in an asylum for 3 months,Working out for 17 months, Working a job and staying active and less bummy I guess), Nothing has helped , at best it's temporary distractions. Im back to the same state if not even worse even tho I've tried to accept the pain that comes with life (in my case ever present) and "good" (Temporary, weak in effect and few and far in between) so after all that trying what have I gained ? Basically nothing (No social circle, No love life, little to no money, no new experiences and a new found hatred for society and a stronger hatred for myself) so in the end I've been delaying the inevitable for a false naive hope. I'm not looking for empathy I'm just trying to get this off my chest, I'm worried that if I tell this to my therapist he'd tell my family making them lock me up in a mental asylum against my will again. I'mma cut myself or something and fucking have fun with it for the first time in a while, Maybe OD and get my stomach pumped or something (also for the fun of it) until I get my hands on SN, So can anyone help me acquire it (pls dm me if so) I live in Egypt btw
