Isolation

[Chupacabra 44]

I've been trying to figure out if my desire over the past several years to be completely isolated is indicative of mental illness? I literally don't want to interact with anyone. If I weren't raised a city boy in a huge metropolitan area and had minimal survival skills, I would try moving to a cabin in the middle of no where to see how it would make me feel.

I'm diagnosed with bipolar and social anxiety and general anxiety, so obviously I have mental illness. However, this does not feel like social anxiety to me. Because currently I have no fear of socializing I just don't want to socialize with anyone.

My late mother who CTBed (feel free to reach out if you would like perspective on how my sibling and I responded to her CTB, if it could help you learn something or otherwise help somehow), was a total recluse, so I'm thinking it's some latent gene or something? She preferred being alone too.

Humans are supposed to be social. But, I do not want to be social whatsoever at this point in my life.

Do you think by definition my desire to be completely alone is 100% my mentally illness expressing itself? My social gregerous family members refuse to accept my wishes. My eighty something year old dad is giving me dating tips for goodness sakes, and can't hear me when I tell him I want to be alone and I enjoy being alone.

Does this sound black and white mental illness or not?

Thanks.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I've been trying to figure out if my desire over the past several years to be completely isolated is indicative of mental illness? I literally don't want to interact with anyone. If I weren't raised a city boy in a huge metropolitan area and had minimal survival skills, I would try moving to a cabin in the middle of no where to see how it would make me feel.

I'm diagnosed with bipolar and social anxiety and general anxiety, so obviously I have mental illness. However, this does not feel like social anxiety to me. Because currently I have no fear of socializing I just don't want to socialize with anyone.

My late mother who CTBed (feel free to reach out if you would like perspective on how my sibling and I responded to her CTB, if it could help you learn something or otherwise help somehow), was a total recluse, so I'm thinking it's some latent gene or something? She preferred being alone too.

Humans are supposed to be social. But, I do not want to be social whatsoever at this point in my life.

Do you think by definition my desire to be completely alone is 100% my mentally illness expressing itself? My social gregerous family members refuse to accept my wishes. My eighty something year old dad is giving me dating tips for goodness sakes, and can't hear me when I tell him I want to be alone and I enjoy being alone.

Does this sound black and white mental illness or not?

Thanks.

I don't know how old you are, but I feel as though our perceptions on what constitutes 'normal social behaviour' changes as we age.

What's considered 'normal' is relative.
I have always been relatively quiet, preferring my own company (other than one time when I was hypo-manic).
When I was 18, say, my view of myself was that I didn't fit in because I wasn't out every Friday night clubbing.
Now I'm older I'm happy that that's not how I spend my early adulthood.
Of course by the time mid-20's come around most people prefer a social drink and maybe the very occasional night out over clubbing every Friday/Saturday anyway, so as it happens how I've always been feels more 'normal' now.
Having said this, spending too much time alone 'in my own head' is not good for me as I tend to go to some pretty dark places in terms of depression :(

Not wanting to ever interact with anybody:
Do you mean that you just don't feel like it (i.e. you don't have the energy), or that you anxious or scared about what might happen?
If the former, it may be a symptom of depression or indeed just not wanting to socialise. If the latter then it is obviously some kind of social anxiety issue.

Living in the middle of nowhere:
I think we all dream about that at times in our lives, for various reasons.
Where would you go? Personally I'd choose either: Maldives, Bahamas or Turks and Caicos.
But to get to the point: it depends why you feel like this.
I know I isolate much more when depressed.

 

[catalepsy]

I looked into the cabin in the woods scenario and you'd be amazed how much money that costs to pull it off right. You'd have to work a lot, deal with a lot of people, then negotiate with real estate agents and loan officers, work out how to make property tax payments each year... it's crazy how social you have to be to live in total isolation these days.

I can totally relate, though. The thing is, once you find some people you can click with, who make you feel comfortable, you'll feel better spending time around them. And yet you'll still have that goddamn urge in the back of your mind for some reason. It just won't go away. But you'll also know, cognitively, that it's irrelevant and that spending time with these folks you feel good around will be healthier for you. Brains are just stupid. That's my take on it.

 

[Axolotl]

I think that it is a perfectly natural feeling to have in this false and dehumanizing society we have been born into. Most people are indoctrinated into thinking that everything is okay and that living like a slave is acceptable because of the trinkets and trifles those in power drop for them. I am a very social and caring person by nature with a deep love for humankind, yet I have been forced into constant misanthropy by the terrible injustice that has been inflicted upon all of us that turn bright and curious children into lifeless automatons. There is no longer anything honorable, virtuous, or in any way admirable about us or the way that we life. We are cogs in a machine that will soon be replaced by literal machines. We weren't meant to live this way, like ants or other bugs.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I don't know how old you are, but I feel as though our perceptions on what constitutes 'normal social behaviour' change as we age.

What's considered 'normal' is relative.
I have always been relatively quiet, preferring my own company (other than one time when I was hypo-manic).
When I was 18, say, my view of myself was that I didn't fit in because I wasn't out every Friday night clubbing.
Now I'm older I'm happy that that's not how I spend my early adulthood.
Of course by the time mid-20's come around most people prefer a social drink and maybe the very occasional night out over clubbing every Friday/Saturday anyway, so as it happens how I've always been feels more 'normal' now.
Having said this, spending too much time alone 'in my own head' is not good for me as I tend to go to some pretty dark places in terms of depression :(

Not wanting to ever interact with anybody?
Do you mean that you just don't feel like it (i.e. you don't have the energy), or that you anxious or scared about what might happen?
If the former, it may be a symptom of depression or indeed just not wanting to socialise, if the latter then it is obviously some kind of social anxiety issue.

Living in the middle of nowhere?
I think we all dream about that at times in our lives.
Where would you go?
Personally I'd choose either: Maldives, Bahamas, Turks and Caicos.
But to get to the point: it depends why you feel like this.
I know I isolate much more when depressed.

I'm in my 50s. I'm happy and am 100% content lying on my couch reading stuff online listening to classical music all day. If my telephone rings I literally cringe. It doesn't feel like how my depression usually feels, but maybe it's advancing?

If I had to pick between the two, I would guess depression?

Never interacting with anyone sounds perfect to me. Up until six years ago, I was really social. And, I have full energy, just zero interest. So, I'm not running with classical depression, I don't think?

Maybe move to a cabin in the Pacific Northwest of the US? Montana or Wyoming (two low density and relatively obscure states in America)? Somewhere isolated in Canada?

I ask myself if perhaps I should give something like this a shot before I CTB, and maybe this could help me recover?

 

[BipolarGuy]

I'm in my 50s. I'm happy and am 100% content lying on my couch reading stuff online listening to classical music all day. If my telephone rings I literally cringe. It doesn't feel like how my depression usually feels, but maybe it's advancing?

If I had to pick between the two, I would guess depression?

Never interacting with anyone sounds perfect to me. Up until six years ago, I was really social. And, I have full energy, just zero interest. So, I'm not running with classical depression, I don't think?

Maybe move to a cabin in the Pacific Northwest of the US? Montana or Wyoming (two low density and relatively obscure states in America)? Somewhere isolated in Canada?

I ask myself if perhaps I should give something like this a shot before I CTB, and maybe this could help me recover?

Oh classical music is the best.
I like Beethoven's Ode to Joy (below) very much. I may even listen to this when the time comes.

It *could* be a symptom of depression.
Certainly withdrawing socially is a recognised symptom.

I would genuinely advise anybody to give everything a shot before making a decision they can't row back from.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Last year I watched endless youtube videos on dudes who were around my age and who retired in various "third world" countries in Asia and in Latin and Central America.

Because I'm bipolar I really had to think about this for a long time and finally realized I just have too many problems physically and mentally to make a move like that. I am positive it would just send me into a really bad manic episode just hopping on the plane for one of those 15-hour flights. Who knows what would happen to me if I ended up totally manic coming off the plane in my new home in Bolivia, for example. Probably sent straight to the asylum.

No matter where I were tobmove my mania will kick in.

Oh classical music is the best.
I like Beethoven's Ode to Joy (below) very much. I may even listen to this when the time comes.

It *could* be a symptom of depression.
Certainly withdrawing socially is a recognised symptom.

I would genuinely advise anybody to give everything a shot before making a decision they can't row back from.

Thanks for the feedback! Love all of Beethoven's symphonies. Thanks for the link.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I find my own desires for isolation stem from the fact that I find social situations difficult, making being around people an exhausting task that I can't easily enjoy.