Discussion Isn’t it strange not to see Letze here recently

[Sherri]

i know he must be happy he achieved what he was looking for so long, but I still miss seeing his posts here. We didn't interact much but I had the biggest respect for him.

 

[Good4Nothing]

There's several I miss seeing. Stick around, you'll get used to it.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

This is the nature of this place unfortunately. They come, they go.

 

[Ghost2211]

There's several I miss seeing. Stick around, you'll get used to it.

In a weird way this is true for me too. Goodbyes are still really sad but they also feel almost normal.

 

[Sherri]

In a weird way this is true for me too. Goodbyes are still really sad but they also feel almost normal.

I know hun, just got used to it I guess.

 

[bigdog]

+

 

[AwokenToReality]

Never interacted with him myself, but always saw his posts. Only logged on today and saw the news. It's always a shock to see more frequent users of the forum leave. We all join here looking for peace though, whether that be through recovery or ctb, so hopefully he has found his peace at last.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I miss him too. I talked to him everyday and now he's gone but he told me to be happy for him because he was going to achieve what he wanted.

 

[voidman]

I never talked to him personally. I honestly wish I could have. It was too late until I saw his goodbye post. He seemed to be an influential and forward-thinking member of the community though.

 

[Spitfire]

It makes me glad to know remembering him this seems it was what he most wanted for himself. I do miss him.

I feel something significant in remembering all of the other people who are gone now too. Even if I am not able to recall as much about many of them anymore.. I still remember them, all of the ones I interacted with during my life.

I am happy for all of them. I feel happiness for them...

 

[Jellyfish42]

It is a little hard to digest that hes gone especially since I remember reading many of his posts. But Im trying to remind myself that it was his choice and that he finally achieved his peace. It's a mixed bag of sadness and understanding that I feel for him now

 

[Greenberg]

@LetzteAusfahrt was so knowledgeable on the Exit Bag with Diving Mask. (@Diver_K_A is knowledgeable too!) He is sadly missed by all!

 

[sadworld]

Letzte was a really nice guy, he was so calm about his decision and he could even laugh in his last moments. He's at a better place now and finally found the peace he was always searching for

 

[nerve]

I feel like this one is especially tough (to me at least) because there was a goodbye thread, but not really a goodbye post. He was here and then 4 hours later he was gone forever. A quietly dignified & poised exit like that suits him.

 

[Gnip]

This is my first post here. I was searching for quality information on nitrogen hypoxia, and Letze's posts about it brought me here as a lurker. His departure inspired me to become a member, so I entered the rotating door as he exited. Now looking very closely at SN as an alternative or complement to nitrogen hypoxia. (I have a nice car with comfortable bucket seats. Drive it to some isolated distant location near sundown, sit in the passenger seat, using the safety harness to hold my reclining torso upright, and there's my escape pod...)

Five different psychiatrists have pronounced me "incurable." If and when the United States legalizes psychiatrist administered euthanasia (which would occur during the first term of a Biden/Harris administration, and probably through judicial activism if Trump's reelected), I will instantly qualify for the procedure after having failed on seven of the eight classes of antidepressants (SSRIs, SARI/SMS, NaSSA/TeCA, SNRI, NDRI/SDRI, TCA, AAP/SGA) and ECT for a 45 year long case of MDD. (MAOIs are completely off the table. There is no possibility I will accept or tolerate wearing a Medic Alert bracelet, nor do I have to in order to legally obtain psychiatrist administered euthanasia at this stage.)

25 years of continual psychiatric care has failed me completely. Prior to that, a false rumor that I was suicidal because of failing grades at age 15 got me forced into psychoquackery by some stupid kids in their early 20's masquerading as school psychologists. Well, if you are not suicidal but treated as if you are by incompetent, stupid and greedy or evil psychoquacks, guess what's gonna happen? You guessed it, iatrogenesis!

Currently, all I am using psychiatric services for is the treatment of my lifelong severe congenital obstructive sleep apnea which corrective surgery and positive airway pressure have failed to alleviate. (That's ultimately the one extended value psychiatric prescriber care has brought to my life over the last quarter century, the fact I have been able to obtain sleep for the first time in my life through medication management. My psychiatrists and sleep specialists who have treated me all admit that CQUACK and "sleep hygiene" are quackery, that if there was any validity to the notion of imprinting healthy sleep patterns into the developing human brain, then nobody who grows up going to school in the morning then returning to bed at night at the same time every day would ever suffer sleep disturbances. Incidentally, "The Effortless Sleep Method" by Sasha Stephens, top rated by hundreds of reader reviews, is one of the absolute worst self help books I've ever read, with her simplistically bogus and lazy premise that we all previously had the ability to sleep well at some point in our lives. The respiratory system I was born with is the absolute proof she is WRONG!)

As an amphetamine skinny boy starting at age seven, I was stigmatized as retarded then bullied by my elementary school principal father, first grade, second grade, fourth grade teachers, my grade school principal, and then the other kids were encouraged by these corrupt, evil and incompetent degrees to pick on me in turn, setting the pattern which continued to plague me through the tiny hellhole high school I was subsequently incarcerated in, a pattern which followed me into the workplace until I finally escaped from the job market via disability for my AD/HD. (Years later as a non certified school staffer, I repeatedly witnessed conclusive confirmation of an extremely ugly lesson. The creators of bullying in society are schoolteachers and principals. They teach bullying and labeling to their students who then model that behavior. Left on their own, kids don't instigate bullying. They learn it from degreed adults.) Several times, puny me wound up in the ER needing stitches from being bullied at school. Every time I look in the mirror, I see the scars. (Bigger and stronger girls were often the worst offenders. I am a hard wired straight, but I am a female hating straight. I've never known a diminutive female who was not a playground bully of younger smaller and weaker boys while growing up.)

I did not ask to be born, and I wish I never was. "Hell?" THIS is hell, this inherently evil food chain world.


Here is a membership of the heroic, past, present and future.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I never actually spoke with him but I enjoyed his input on the forums. There are several who I miss, saying goodbye on here never seems to get easier, sadly though its the nature of the forum.

 

[Lordsudbury]

He was before my time here but I recognize he commanded great respect and my salute to that.

 

[Gnip]

I never actually spoke with him but I enjoyed his input on the forums. There are several who I miss, saying goodbye on here never seems to get easier, sadly though its the nature of the forum.

And with that, you have supplied the first reply to any of what I suspect could be many posts I submit here.

I typically muse that the biggest mistake of my life was not ending that life at age 16. Unfortunately, I have fought so long for so hard that continuing to fight on has become a most irrational habit. (I have promised my mother, my best friend, that I will not end my life within her lifetime, but also vowed to myself that I will not live to bury her. Unlike my now frail boastfully backstabbing father, she wasn't a violently homicidal death threat. Like me, she feared for her life. My father has never stopped wishing me dead, and was enthusiastically validated and supported in his treatment of me by all the other degrees who poisoned my upbringing. By the standards of that era, these monsters should have all gone to jail.)

 

[Meditation guide]

I am using psychiatric services for is the treatment of my lifelong severe congenital obstructive sleep apnea which corrective surgery and positive airway pressure have failed to alleviate. (

Sorry to hear you went through the surgery for sleep apnea and it didn't work. I heard that is a bitch to go through.

 

[Gnip]

Sorry to hear you went through the surgery for sleep apnea and it didn't work. I heard that is a bitch to go through.

Honestly, I got lucky, and had a lot of local medical doctors (including my psychiatrist) warn me that my local ENT specialist was a notorious hack and that under no circumstances was I to contemplate surgery from him.

I actually had an excellent surgeon who performed a comprehensive uvulopalatalpharyngoplasty (UP3), septoplasty and turbinate reduction. He warned me in no uncertain terms that this comprehensive procedure would definitely NOT be curative, but that it would eradicate my snoring (it did, completely) and hopefully reduce my CPAP pressure requirements so that I might be able to better tolerate that equipment. (In that respect surgery was a complete failure.)

For me, the only troublesome part was that my uvula got amputated, initially causing me tremendous pain in my ears, but I would not hesitate to do it again with that particular surgeon.

The trouble is that many otolaryngologists are incompetent hacks (as was the long time ENT specialist in my local crap hospital, but that's not where I take my health care business, instead traveling to a couple fine facilities a couple hours north). I lucked out, but also knew in advance how limited that operation would be in effectiveness.

As for future potential in addressing my sleep apnea, I have a course titled, "Singing for Snorers" by a UK voice coach, Alise Ojay. The anecdote is that professional opera singers seldom snore despite being frequently obese, and that exercises which tone the pharynx may be a solution to the problem of snoring. This is no quick fix self help program, but one which takes three to six months of daily vocal exercise practice to get the most out of.

Prior to my surgery in April 2012, there is no possibility that Ojay's course could have worked for me, not with my oversized uvula, deviated septum and other physical causes of my sleep apnea. But having had that operation, maybe I can derive a great deal more benefit from her course now. (AD/HD makes follow thru hell though, and everybody in my life selfishly exploits my distractibility with savage and conscienceless ruthlessness.)

 

[Myforevercharlie]

There are several names I still miss...you sort of get used to it, most people are here to leave one way or another.

 

[Rn110bg101]

Unfortunately it's what comes with this forum. We get to meet people before they go… but that means we can start to miss them after they leave. At least they're at peace now…