Venting Island of Joy in a Sea of Despair

[Unsure and Useless]

Today, I had a really great day. I learned about a fast food place that serves good burgers for cheap; I caught up with a friend; we walked through a park and reacquainted ourselves with nature; I had a blast on the swings; and we chatted with a kind old man in retirement who was walking his 15 year old dog on the trail. The whole time, I was really, honestly, genuinely happy. Even on the way home, I was buzzing with joy. However, when the happiness wore off, I realized I was still surrounded by despair at having to live in this blatantly unfair world

Why am I like this? Even outside of this, there are moments where I'm consumed by complete, reckless joy that makes me feel so empowered, though once these "episodes" are done, I feel worse off. Why am I like this?

PS: I'm tired while writing this

 

[whywere]

FANTASTIC!

I am so happy for you, sounds like you had a wonderful day.

I wish that you have many, many more days like this, as you so richly deserve them.

Love and hugs and have another awesome day!

Walter

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's great that you can still experience this amount of joy and appreciation. As for why it doesn't last though. Maybe it's a social conscience. That you feel intensely connected to and affected by the overall state of the world and other people's suffering. Maybe it's the realisation that every day won't be that fun for you. Maybe that you have to work really hard to pay for the fun times.

That's my realisation. It's not that I'm incapable of appreciating things or experiencing joy. It's that I'm tired of how much it all costs! That there's no real getting around have to work and worry about work constantly to afford the nicer experiences. For me- the good doesn't balance out the bad. Even if it isn't as intensely bad as it has been. I don't hate my job as much as I've hated other jobs. I hate the worry that accompanies them all though.

 

[justanotherbody]

I just wrote about an incredibly similar sentiment, then saw this.

I also had a good day, and for the first time in a while, my perspective changed and I actually considered NOT killing myself, maybe.

I think when you're in the pit of despair for so long, you need a little more than a single day or experience to pull you out. And that's why it doesn't make everything suddenly better. The sudden warmth just really puts the misery and bleak hopelessness into sharper focus by contrast.

If you can find a way to keep that going, find those little bits of joy more and more...that's how you climb out of the pit. Just one little rung of happiness at a time.