Is your reason “valid”?

[Harleyyy]

It makes me so furious when people question other people's reasons of being depressed or suicidal? How the frick does it matter what happened? The end result is you want to end your life! So what if it was "just a breakup"? Or an illness? Or loss of a loved one or any kind of traumatic experience? Who are you to judge me and my reasons of being depressed? This forum is majorly very empathetic and i am grateful to be a part of it, but some people just make it a competition of whose misery is bigger? The end point is we both feel like shit right? How does it matter how we got here? The only thing which really counts is a way to get out of that misery, be it working on yourself or any other method. Be humble. Not everyone has the same brain or will power. I respect all of you all's reasons and i truly wish that you find peace and happiness without having to go through the pain of ending your life. We're in this together. <3

 

[Blue LIPS]

"No man ought to tell another man what he's gotta live for or what he's got to die for."

Or woman, it's a quote from a "mercenary" group during the Civil War

 

[socrates]

100% Agree! It's your life, and only you know what your going through. All reasons are valid. I do think it's important to slow down an look at things rationally though. We don't want to CTB impulsively, if only for the reason that most impulsive attempts fail. I wish we lived on a planet where no-one felt that CTB is the only way out. It's a hard decision and it's painful one, but I respect other peoples rights to do what they feel is right.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

Yeah, some people think this is a competition. I agree with you, everyone has a different reason to feel suicidal, but that doesn't mean that some are valid and some are not. We've all been through shit.
Gladly, I haven't seen it on this forum, but one time, on one website, one dude told me that it's stupid for me to feel depressed because "people are going through more difficult stuff."

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Is "Life is SHITTY" valid enough ? Seriously though ... that is my reason. I hate life.

 

[so tired or manic]

some people want to play devil's advocate just in case. when you don't know the whole story it's hard to accept a reason someone might bring sometimes

not saying it's right, but I can get why it happens

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

some people want to play devil's advocate just in case. when you don't know the whole story it's hard to accept a reason someone might bring sometimes

not saying it's right, but I can get why it happens

I don't feel like I owe anyone who isn't close to me an explanation of why I want to CTB.

 

[141592653]

I'm a feminist and I claim "My body ! My choice"
I'm also a pro choice and I claim "My life ! My choice"

 

[draw a circle]

My reason isn't "valid" enough imo but i'm still suicidal regardless! it's just the way it is. if i actually go through it my family would probably judge me so hard (they would mourn and be sad to lose me but judging)

 

[141592653]

My explanation : I would have not prefer to live my life till here, why would I continue. This is completely logic. I want to die when I'm happy because I want to beat the game of life
You don't need reason. Your life. Your choice.
Nobody has to tell any thing about what you do with your life

My reason isn't "valid" enough imo but i'm still suicidal regardless! it's just the way it is. if i actually go through it my family would probably judge me so hard (they would mourn and be sad to lose me but judging)

This is what every pro lifers says to make us culprit. You're not egoïst, they are to want to keep you.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

Honestly speaking I believe in 100% freedom of choice. The one thing that we're assured in life is death. If I can't even choose how I go then what the hell am I doing? If someone told me they wanted to ctb because they failed to thread a needle I'd be okay with it. Let people have at least that one power in life, the power over their own existence.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I'm always being told how education problems don't really matter, friendships aren't a big deal, my looks aren't important, anhedonia is manageable and anxiety attacks are fixable. What if I don't want to go through all that? What if I'm not interested in putting myself through all that pain just to live? It's too much for me, I don't care if other people think it's valid.

 

[brood]

When I am no longer able to live my life as I wish and in danger of becoming a burden to others I will then end my life. This is my choice and is valid to me.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Having chronic pain and a poor quality of life is a valid reason for me to ctb. Lot of people committed suicide because of chronic pain. They will never have the life they would want to. My life, my choice. I can do whatever I want with it. I'm the owner of my life so any reason seems valid. I'm fucked up and can't reverse so ctb is my only choice.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Validity is subjective in my opinion. You may think that someones reason for wanting to end their own life is trivial, but to them it may mean as much as the whole world. For example: this is sometimes the case with folks who are suicidal due to romance-related issues... Loves does that. Not just this, but often times we don't get the full picture when it comes to someones life; we can't comprehend completely what is going through their head either. Any reason that they give, and that you perceive as "invalid", might only be the tip of the iceberg - there could be more underlying issues. Now time to flip what I've said the other way...

Let's say that what I have said above is wrong, and that it is possible for someones reason to CTB to be "invalid" that shouldn't change anything, because a suicidal person should not have to justify their motives. If a woman goes for an abortion she doesn't have to give an argument for what she is doing, or at least that is the case in some countries. Why then should a suicidal person have to prove that their reasons are valid? The so-called 'pro-choice' argument is that it is no one elses business what you do with your own body; this is talking about abortion of course but the same should apply to Catching The Bus.

 

[Escapist]

It's silly to consider some reasons valid and some others not, imo.

Emotional damage is not that different from physical damage but because it's invisible, it's harder to grasp for an outsider. For comparison, saying, "just because you got punched in the face doesn't mean that your life now sucks, many people recover from being punched in the face.". Yeah, but one person might get a brain injury from being punched in the face, while somebody else gets just a bruise. It's a lot easier to recover from a bruise than from a brain injury. Likewise, the same thing can cause very different kind of emotional damage to different people. It's partly just dumb luck how much you get damaged by something.

This is all obvious to most people when we talk about physical injuries, but when it comes to emotional or psychological damage, people don't intuitively understand how the same punch doesn't always do the same amount of damage. It depends.

 

[Blue LIPS]

"No man ought to tell another man what he's gotta live for or what he's got to die for."

Or woman, it's a quote from a "mercenary" group during the Civil War

by the way the quote is from Edward Newton. Recently watched Free State of Jones again... love that movie! Idk the Revolt of the "lesser-thans" against all odds is nice, I don't want to compare the slaves (was also poor white farmers) then to kinda like "us" but the overall metaphor I can resonate with, the automatic outcast.

 

[Fedrea]

The thing that pushed me over the line is something most people would think stupid

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Yeah, some people think this is a competition. I agree with you, everyone has a different reason to feel suicidal, but that doesn't mean that some are valid and some are not. We've all been through shit.
Gladly, I haven't seen it on this forum, but one time, on one website, one dude told me that it's stupid for me to feel depressed because "people are going through more difficult stuff."

Yeah, that's silly. I mean, if you follow that logic, it would be stupid for 99.9999% of people to feel depressed since there is always someone going through something more difficult. Also, 'going through something difficult' is subjective and cannot be quantified and measured against other people 'going through something difficult'. Psychological stress, anxiety and the ability to cope is not entirely predicated on objective events, but subjective facts about individuals.

 

[muffin222]

I think we all have the ultimate choice to end our lives regardless of the reason

 

[GoneGoneGone]

What annoys me is the other side of the coin: when you are depressed but do not give any reasons, do not communicate with others, and then people start speculating.

For example, I'm currently completely financially independent from my family (but dependent on partner), and if I don't answer calls from my family or extended family, they will text me "poor you, he doesn't want to marry you, maybe he's not earning enough money, you'll soon be unable to have children" etc.

Like I'm trying to fight the good fight here, and I'm pretty much pushed to ctb by some mean gossip-obsessed people who don't pay my bills? I'm basically forced to not talk to anyone to protect my mh. And I'm 31, I feel like I barely finished my 20s!

 

[FohPah]

Reading other people's reasons makes me feel like this meme:

 

[Beachedwhale]

It's silly to consider some reasons valid and some others not, imo.

Emotional damage is not that different from physical damage but because it's invisible, it's harder to grasp for an outsider. For comparison, saying, "just because you got punched in the face doesn't mean that your life now sucks, many people recover from being punched in the face.". Yeah, but one person might get a brain injury from being punched in the face, while somebody else gets just a bruise. It's a lot easier to recover from a bruise than from a brain injury. Likewise, the same thing can cause very different kind of emotional damage to different people. It's partly just dumb luck how much you get damaged by something.

This is all obvious to most people when we talk about physical injuries, but when it comes to emotional or psychological damage, people don't intuitively understand how the same punch doesn't always do the same amount of damage. It depends.

This is called the diathesis stress model of stress. Diathesis just means predisposition. Some are more predisposed to be more affected by the same stressors.

What annoys me is the other side of the coin: when you are depressed but do not give any reasons, do not communicate with others, and then people start speculating.

For example, I'm currently completely financially independent from my family (but dependent on partner), and if I don't answer calls from my family or extended family, they will text me "poor you, he doesn't want to marry you, maybe he's not earning enough money, you'll soon be unable to have children" etc.

Like I'm trying to fight the good fight here, and I'm pretty much pushed to ctb by some mean gossip-obsessed people who don't pay my bills? I'm basically forced to not talk to anyone to protect my mh. And I'm 31, I feel like I barely finished my 20s!

They sound like cunts. Block them.