Discussion Is what's keeping you here SI or fear of pain?

[therhydler]

I read many comments here saying that the thing keeping us back is survival instinct which is really difficult to overcome. In my case I think it is really just the fear of pain... I have an extremely low pain threshold and I am terrified of pain. If I had N I would drink it right now on the spot without thinking twice, because every second of my life I am desperate to go. If not for the fear of pain I would be gone.

The reason I don't think it's SI that's keeping me here is that a few months ago I ran in front of a speeding truck (not proud of it I know it's a terrible method). I did it because I was certain that I would be knocked out instantly and not feel a thing (which turned out true). So my SI then was nil and my fear of pain was diminished. I would instantly do anything that would lead to my death if I knew it to be painless.

I am interested to hear what you guys think... is fear of pain a part of SI, or are they two different things...? What's keeping you here? (apart from things like hope, meaning, pleasure etc of course)

 

[Philip]

The main thing for me is the fear of being dead and not knowing what happens after you die

 

[OnlyMercy]

I wouldn't say that fear of pain is the primary reason I'm still here. I'm willing to accept some discomfort and pain for a short period provided that the end result is near certain death. Everything meaningful in this life has proven to require some degree of effort and struggle, why would death be any different?

I'm applying my mind as thoroughly as possible to ensure my method is truly lethal and will guarantee death. No offence to those with multiple failed attempts, but I only want to do this once and do it right.

 

[ausboy96]

SI, fear of surviving with permanent damage, knowing I'll hurt my mum and deep down a feeling that maybe my problems can be fixed somehow

 

[Letmego. Please]

Timing mostly and i have legal stuff that needs doing first. Plus i don't plan on doing this again so anytime spent double checking is well spent. I'm done & i don't much care about painlessness, i live it everyday so why care one last time.

 

[Xaphous]

Many things - SI, what may come after, the fact I haven't even really lived, ending up in a worse state. Stuck between a rock and a hard place as they say.

 

[311]

Little bit of both. Also shame.

 

[Jen Erik]

Survival instinct manifesting as fear of what might happen if I fail and end up in a vegetative state. I can imagine being trapped in my body, fully cognizant of everything around me, sense of pain fully intact, but completely paralyzed and unable to communicate verbally or otherwise. I can imagine being in a continuous, never-ending state of pain and not being able to express the need for relief so therefore never getting any. That is the most horrifying scenario I could ever imagine.

 

[Deivis]

You can only die once. But you can live in this same misery for years and years.

 

[Tncfef]

i'm still searching for a method that will suit me.

 

[Partial-Elf]

Mostly guilt for me. Partially because some people would be crushed, partially because I know I could improve things with luck and sustained effort—I'm just not up to the task and never have been. I like to think that something will click and I'll transform into a shiny happy person who fixes everything but that hasn't happened yet.

A bit of fear too. Yesterday I just about ctb on accident testing partial suspension and the fear of being found and committed became much more real. Not so much afraid of the vegetable hell scenario because I've got my equipment and method dialed in (knock on wood).

Indecision as well. I'm very indecisive by nature and this is a fairly big choice.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

The firm grasp of meddaling parents, if not for that I would in a heart beat. I no longer feel that survival instinct is a issue for me, other's relentlessly imposing their's on to me is though.

 

[TAW122]

Mostly survival instinct and just pushing myself to that edge before going through. My method will be instantaneous (firearm with 00 buckshot) so I don't forsee pain to be an issue for me (unless I somehow really fuck up really badly during the attempt).

 

[bigj75]

fear of failure and survival instinct

 

[Didymus]

Both fear of pain and SI plus fear of failure

 

[Deathisbeautiful]

I wouldn't say that fear of pain is the primary reason I'm still here. I'm willing to accept some discomfort and pain for a short period provided that the end result is near certain death. Everything meaningful in this life has proven to require some degree of effort and struggle, why would death be any different?

I'm applying my mind as thoroughly as possible to ensure my method is truly lethal and will guarantee death. No offence to those with multiple failed attempts, but I only want to do this once and do it right.

What is your method?

 

[OnlyMercy]

What is your method?

Nembutal if it arrives. Otherwise, Sodium Nitrite.

 

[Roph]

SI is keeping me here.... or worrying that something will go wrong along the way and make my problems even worse.