Help Is this really schizophrenia or something

[moya117]

I have talked to three of my therapist, one of them said I don't have schizophrenia. I don't really know what schizophrenia actually feels like tbh cus idk I don't want to know for some reason?
This night, as I'm writing this, I have like my thoughts are all over the place, I don't know what to do so bare with me, I do still cut myself sometimes and I feel like my people's intentions are not as pure as I "believed" them to be, I don't want to be put on meds that are making me fatter every time I take them. It feels like I'm seeing the world from a third person perspective and all that's going on rn is not real but at the same time I still feel fear yk, I do bite and hurt myself just to keep me in check, I don't know what to do. I do need professional help but I don't want them to put meds inside of me again that makes me look like a fucking pig, that's shit makes me feel worthless
I don't k I'm scared I'm confused, I don't want to trouble anyone, I don't know
I'm sweating but at the same time I'm cold, my mouth are dry and
I really do need help but I don't want my family to worry idk I know it's a dumb thread but this is the only safe place for me where ai can vent anytime anywhere
You know, when I feel things, it's either too much or almost nothing, maybe it's just me? It's like idk how I can explain it

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

Where are you based in ?


I got diagnosed with "post-schizophrenic depression" when I was in Sri Lanka.

But when I went to the UK, the NHS was like "nah"

 

[moya117]

Where are you based in ?


I got diagnosed with "post-schizophrenic depression" when I was in Sri Lanka.

But when I went to the UK, the NHS was like "nah"

BAsed in Indonesia unfortunately

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

BAsed in Indonesia unfortunately

These third world countries don't really have a proper grasp on mental health, sadly...

Even countries like ours, which are quite developed, but are still third world, don't have properly trained professionals. When foreigners try to become doctors in the developed world they usually have to redo ALL the tests, to ensure they're upto standards.

So I would take everything they say with several truckloads of salt.

 

[bcarroll1]

have you looked up common symptoms. Did they say why they thought you did or didn't have it. Maybe you could get more insight into their thinking.

 

[slowlydying2mrrw]

I couldn't give you a professional opinion since I don't have credentials (or schizophrenia).

I have a parent (mother) who raised me with schizo-affective disorder (schizophrenia + bi-polar), so from a third person observer of how it presents, I have a pretty good understanding about it.

My question for you is, do you see, hear, believe in the voices in your head?.

Are you guided by the personal interpretation of these voices and do they influence your thoughts/actions? Are you compelled by these thoughts as truths you must take action on?

Are you unable to be alone in public, feel safe, know where you are, and not mentally collapse when you start getting lost?

If yes to all 3, it's an indicator of schizophrenia as that means you believe, know, feel, and aware of the voices in your head. These are different than the ones we think in our private thoughts.

From learning about it all my life, it is like seeing a normal person turn into a state of dementia until they are able to get hospital treatment.

If you don't have schizophrenia, then the drugs given for it won't help you, so it's best not to go off belief either. It is a really hard thing to deal with and very destructive if left untreated. I hope things get better for you.

 

[asthedayends00]

If you have voices or people they are not real ( to everyone else) that tell you to harm people or yourself then it's schizophrenia.

 

[slowlydying2mrrw]

If you have voices or people they are not real ( to everyone else) that tell you to harm people or yourself then it's schizophrenia.

This is the biggest indicator. It's like watching someone go through a bad acid trip with dementia. They can get violent, believe you are the son of the devil, and try to kill you.