Venting Is this hopelessness?

[doefauna]

Often times I feel like despite my sadness, I could possibly find a pathway to enjoying life using money. I'd do a lot of wishful thinking on if I had x amount right now I could make myself happier even if it's just on the surface. I found myself thinking that even with all the money in the world I would still feel this sense of doom, like nothing would get better and that at my core I would still see myself as all the negative things that currently exist. I have frequent thought of dying, thinking it would be better if I did not have life as recovery would be too difficult and ultimately unsuccessful. I wish I was my ideal self, but I don't know how to get there, and so I consider that it may be better to not be myself at all, not exist at all.

 

[turkishsweet]

Sometimes, when we envision our ideal self, our expectations are too big. We want to be attractive, to own a house, to be married, and we want it immediately. Our ideal self being too unobtainable leads to depressing thoughts. The idea is to create smaller goals in reach of your ideal self. For example, let's say I want to be doctor. I can't be a doctor right now, and doctors seem way smarter than me, so I feel hopeless. All I really need to do is map out a plan. I'll apply to school, I'll apply to a smaller job for experience, I'll graduate, etc. These are the stepping stones and not only can they be hard, but they can be fun. It's a time of growth.

You can enjoy your life, even if you're not your ideal self yet. And don't invest too much hope into money. Sure, having the basics down will improve your mood. But the novelty of having wads of disposable income soon rubs off. Loads of the greatest philosophers did not care for money. It was their mindset that enabled them to be content. I hope you'll be ok!

 

[KowakuNaiNeko]

I remember a study said something like money made people happier up until about 200k/year (in the us at the time) at which point the happiness plateaued. I don't think it's the most important factor in happiness though.

Having money and falling into hedonism is a trap. You'll feel ok in the short term but without some kind of long term fulfillment you'll still feel empty. Also there are several case studies of people who got short term cash windfalls (usually the lottery) and ended up broke within a couple years and much more unhappy afterward. Having a healthy mindset of how to use money is just as important.

 

[doefauna]

Sometimes, when we envision our ideal self, our expectations are too big. We want to be attractive, to own a house, to be married, and we want it immediately. Our ideal self being too unobtainable leads to depressing thoughts. The idea is to create smaller goals in reach of your ideal self. For example, let's say I want to be doctor. I can't be a doctor right now, and doctors seem way smarter than me, so I feel hopeless. All I really need to do is map out a plan. I'll apply to school, I'll apply to a smaller job for experience, I'll graduate, etc. These are the stepping stones and not only can they be hard, but they can be fun. It's a time of growth.

You can enjoy your life, even if you're not your ideal self yet. And don't invest too much hope into money. Sure, having the basics down will improve your mood. But the novelty of having wads of disposable income soon rubs off. Loads of the greatest philosophers did not care for money. It was their mindset that enabled them to be content. I hope you'll be ok!

Your verbalisation of expectations being too big is so interesting to me. I've always heard around me the idea that you should dream big reach big goals, have big aspirations. You've made me pensive on the idea that maybe excess doesn't equal success, a little can turn into a lot, success can come in small packages. Thank you.

 

[NotDeanNorris]

Often times I feel like despite my sadness, I could possibly find a pathway to enjoying life using money. I'd do a lot of wishful thinking on if I had x amount right now I could make myself happier even if it's just on the surface. I found myself thinking that even with all the money in the world I would still feel this sense of doom, like nothing would get better and that at my core I would still see myself as all the negative things that currently exist. I have frequent thought of dying, thinking it would be better if I did not have life as recovery would be too difficult and ultimately unsuccessful. I wish I was my ideal self, but I don't know how to get there, and so I consider that it may be better to not be myself at all, not exist at all.

I feel this
I keep trying to slowly get back what I liked about myself, build new things to like. It's fucking hard though.