Story Is this a sign?

[mooncake]

I didn't think I believed in signs, but I've been learning a bunch new things about me recently anyway haha

Today my ex-parnter's mom made me mooncakes. How ironic is that? She never new I liked them, and tbh, I was never that big of a fan sofar, despite the name...she doesn't even know, that I know what they are!
This woman is one of my favorite people. Both her intuition and ingenuity know no bounds. She knows when I'm sick without seeing me or hearing from me. Back when my now ex and I were still living together, she packed 3 of my favorite snacks to bring back to me. When he came home he asked me if I was talking to her behind his back (his reaction was kinda weird, but thats not the point). The fact is, I didn't...I couldn't! There is a pretty tough language barrier between me and her, so often time we were communicating through broken German, body language or having my ex/his little sister translate.
I never told her I like the stuff she packed, and she never saw me eat it either. And my ex most definitely didn't tell her. She just knew. Like she knew I was feeling right.

So now, I think she knows. Never, in all the time if known her, has she made mooncakes. Why now?

I'm so scared of hurting or disapointing her. She is one of the few people who really seems to deeply care about me, which makes me sort of proud, considering how much I respect her. I'm terrified of the thought that she might feel like she wasted her time, money, effort, patience or love on me, since I'll never repay her. Even after I had to throw her son out of my home, she still took care of me. She was one of the few people who visited me in the hospital post break up. She told me I'll always be her daughter. I don't want her to think that I'm gonna throw that away just like that. I feel like I'm betraying her, and she knows.

 

[purplesmoothie]

That is funny! Also- I wanted to compliment you on your name from one foodie SS user to another. Thought it was funny I came across this post. I've never had mooncakes but they look so good! They are a fascinating food and a good choice for a username :) you should listen to that sign :)

 

[TheQ22]

Synchronicity. Only you can know what it means though.

 

[mooncake]

That is funny! Also- I wanted to compliment you on your name from one foodie SS user to another. Thought it was funny I came across this post. I've never had mooncakes but they look so good! They are a fascinating food and a good choice for a username :) you should listen to that sign :)

Haha thank you! I just tried one and they are really good! She made the dough differently from what im used to. Much better though, since her's are not as dry as mooncakes can be sometimes

It definitely makes me think

Synchronicity. Only you can know what it means though.

Yeah I guess. I'm just unsure about this..like I am about many things haha

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Personally, I believe in signs; I think if one is mindful enough they will see these. I have a saying that I adhere to which is "nothing is random" ....

 

[InterstateFlowers]

What a heart-warming relationship She must love you a lot to do all these things for you and I think the farthest idea in her head is to feel resentment or disappointment for your feelings. Do you think she's the type of person to expect repayment for doing all she can to care about you? If not, maybe that's just your inner you talking and speaking for ex partner's mom.

Being depressed and suicidal, it's hard to truly believe that someone who loves deeply has no ill intentions of feeling disappointment and harm whenever something goes wrong because depressed and suicidal people can't easily achieve the head-space of knowing what all encompassing love feels like. That was too wordy and hard to understand reading that sentence but I hope that suffices because I'm bad at writing :,)

Also assuming she's german, how does she know what mooncakes are, or does she really like chinese cuisine? lol What's the filling? I don't know a lot of moon cakes besides that they're chinese and have really pretty patterns.

 

[mooncake]

What a heart-warming relationship She must love you a lot to do all these things for you and I think the farthest idea in her head is to feel resentment or disappointment for your feelings. Do you think she's the type of person to expect repayment for doing all she can to care about you? If not, maybe that's just your inner you talking and speaking for ex partner's mom.

She is a very giving person, and I know that it's most likely my trauma speak. Still I worry that i might dissapoint her. I'm extremely distrustful of any positive things that are happening to at the moment, or the people around me. Even those I really care about. So I'm anxiously awaiting her to turn on me.

Being depressed and suicidal, it's hard to truly believe that someone who loves deeply has no ill intentions of feeling disappointment and harm whenever something goes wrong because depressed and suicidal people can't easily achieve the head-space of knowing what all encompassing love feels like. That was too wordy and hard to understand reading that sentence but I hope that suffices because I'm bad at writing :,)

Haha no worries. That sums it up pretty well

Also assuming she's german, how does she know what mooncakes are, or does she really like chinese cuisine? lol What's the filling? I don't know a lot of moon cakes besides that they're chinese and have really pretty patterns.

No she's Vietnamese, but we live in Germany.

I'm not 100% sure but it tastes like mung bean paste and roasted coconut. Also saw black sesame in there. The filling was moist and not as dense as the lotus paste ones. The outside seems to be some sorts of sticky rice cake but not quite as chewy as a mochi.

Haha yes mooncakes are so pretty! The baked ones are kinda tough to eat, in my opinion. So having such a light, rice cake typ was just perfect.