Is there still hope inside you? Are you curious about the future?

[noname223]

I am currently reading a mainstream self-help book on depression.

They argue there is still hope inside you otherwise you would not read it. Well in some way it is true. I am not reading this book to get advice rather because a woman borrowed it to me. On my depression it is rather useless.

The logic is similar to: You are still living, if you had no hope left you would be already dead. I don't believe in this argument. To kill yourself is extremely hard. The method knowledge is pretty decisive. Suicide requires a lot of work.

The book says following quotes were lies. Depression is not healable. (well some of treatment resistance) You cannot do anything. Say this to a vegetable. It will remain forever like that. (for some it gets better though...) You cannot endure that any longer. (this is cynical as fuck)

I think there is still hope in me. But it is rather daydreaming. Naive hope for a miracle and stuff like that.

 

[Phasmid]

There is, but I am systemically eliminating all hope that I have as I recognize that it is essentially a self-defense mechanism that is unfortunately keeping me alive.

I've been removing loved ones from my life, stopping engaging with my hobbies and actively sabotaging my own work so I can get laid off. I can't really actively control whether I have hope or not, but I can control the elements that are a source of hope for me and I believe that if I eliminate a sufficient number of them my cognitive faculties will recognize that I simply don't have other avenues of hope and can't use that as a crutch to keep me alive.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I also disagree with certain things in that book. Just because someone hasn't killed themselves, doesn't mean they have hope for the future. They may simply feel trapped here for certain reasons.

The two most common I imagine will be more of a hostage situation where it's fear of a method failing, fear of pain during a method, fear of death itself, lack of access to a method they feel might actually work- keeping them where they are. Or, they may be holding on for the sake of loved ones.

In which case, they are probably reading that book, even going to therapy or trying meds in the hopes of tooling themselves up with coping methods to get them through the time they have to be here.

I think a lot of the time, a full recovery is more of a long shot, outside hope that- might happen but, feels very unlikely. So, if the whole book is more like manifesting your ideal future, I wouldn't be too convinced it would work on me either! Although, it may have at an earlier point in my life- when I still wanted a future!

I'm at a very weird juncture where- certain things I thought I always wanted are a real possibility. As in- the actual initial stages of a job offer, the whisperings of a very exciting project. I don't think my lack of enthusiasm is only because I know how quickly these offers tend to evaporate though. (So, I've learned my lesson not to get too excited till things are confirmed.)

The other problem though is- they seem like a huge amount of work now! (They would be.) Long hours, working with others (which I'm terrible at,) a likely change in location- again and, all the massive hassle that entails. Including- two sets of bills coming in. It may not actually be financially sensible to do them in which case- the decision's made for me.

But, even more weirdly, I'm also thinking- they could make killing myself a lot more difficult! I hate the thought of letting people down. If I agree to do something- I try to do it to the best of my ability. There's this quite bizarre tension/ frustration/ irritation in me that this could potentially delay my plans! I think that's enough to tell me what I want most in life. (Death.)

The frustrating part is, I can't die (or, I feel like I really shouldn't) till my Dad does first and I (obviously) have no clue when that might be so, I may well end up trying to go for these jobs I feel half hearted about because things might be worse if I don't. I'll still give them all my effort of course but God- what a mess! Life's so dumb. That's all I think of now pretty much. WTF am I bothering with this dumb life?!! WTF was I brought into existence to live this dumb life? FFS

 

[sylvey]

The only hope I have left is that reincarnation is real

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Obviously written by someone who hasn't suffered from clinical depression

 

[noname223]

Obviously written by someone who hasn't suffered from clinical depression

The author is an instagram influencer (And psychologist M.A. student)

(This book gives me depression. Lol.)

 

[LostLily]

Desperately to cling to hope and yet at the same time keep my options open.
I'm going to try therapy again starting next year and hope it will work out because it will be my 4th counselor.

Bought some work books about depression , anxiety and suicidal thoughts, but I'm hiding it from my parents because I don't want them to worry about me.

At the same time, I'm eagerly waiting for my bottle of SN just in case.

 

[purelydaft]

Hope for myself, no, not really. There's nothing left I wish to achieve or obtain. I am curious, though. I do like many aspects of the world, and I'm interested to see what kind of things are to happen in the future. I just don't really enjoy living.

As for the book, well, I find self-help books to be silly in general, but I am hardly an expert since I've never read a line of one beyond the catchphrases. I can understand the point about hope and death, but it's such a non-statement. Quantifying hope is a fool's errand.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Fortunately (or unfortunately?) there is still hope left that my situation could improve in the future.

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

The author is an instagram influencer (And psychologist M.A. student)

(This book gives me depression. Lol.)

So far not impressed with this so-called author... trying to make a buck off of poor saps? Like gtfo.

 

[Unknown21]

Sometimes yes but mostly I don't care what happens in the future, it doesn't concern me. I just want to be free from this useless existence and go to nothingness or to a better place (anything after death will definitely be better than my life lol)

 

[Yume Nikki]

There's no hope left for me. I made too many grave mistakes and regrets throughout my life. I think I am beyond help at this point, but it depends on the person.

 

[divinemistress36]

Self help books make me want to ctb even more. Depression is complex nobody knows how to treat it since the cause is different for everyone. They throw meds at you not knowing what chemical or how much your brain needs and therapy is only useful if a person has a fixable problem.

 

[motherofmahesh]

I think there is still hope in me. But it is rather daydreaming. Naive hope for a miracle and stuff like that.

This is such a great way to put it

 

[TheHolySword]

my hope died long ago, it just didn't take me with it. soon though.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't know. I try to have hope, but given how long I've been like this… I feel myself growing more and more skeptical as time goes on.

 

[Tig]

Suffered with depression for so long now, the daily madness it brings, the daily suffering, hope is long gone, only darkness and death await me now.
The only thing that keeps me alive, is the prospect of time shared with One more friend as we die together, I'm terrified of going alone, hand in hand we will step into the shared abyss,
Together.....
Oh too find that one friend, it will be a special friend and the rarest of the rare indeed, conquering death as a seamless unit,
been searching for so long.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

At the moment I have a little hope, like you say, perhaps naive or far-fetched. I'm holding onto a belief based on a promise of love. The reality is almost impossible. But then, what is even real anymore? If I give up on life, I give up on this person and any chance of what I believe should be, which I know is possible based on feelings, but so out-there in terms of logistics it will take a miracle. The question is, how long can I believe in miracles and is it worth waiting for? That I think, depends on timing and how dark things get. When the only logical option seems to get out, I have the method and mindset to ctb, and yes it requires work. I think people who haven't fallen into the pit of darkness, cannot understand the concept of simply existing with or without hope. It's just a matter of time.

 

[pointblank]

What hope? Is that scientific?

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

The only hope that remain for me is the use of ayahuasca, i did once in the past and know how this thing can drastically change someone.