Is there anyone who is caught between ctb, or just disappearing from everything and everyone?

[Shadows From Hell]

I'm at a crossroad between catching the bus, and just disappearing in the woods or something like that. I'm not afraid to die, I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do.

Death would be the best thing to ever happen to me, but every time I get plans rolling to ctb, something somewhere happens and I have to put it off.

Then I'll sit and think about disappearing somewhere, and when death comes, it comes. But I haven't decided where I want to disappear to... The woods, another city and/or state, or a different country.

Sigh..... Decisions decisions.

 

[Jarring]

Disappearing does sound appealing, even to me, but I also do feel the fact that if anything goes wrong/you are found/ you come back, you will have too many eyes on you/worried about you. Just stressful. The process of disappearing itself is hard if you have anyone remotely interested in looking for you

 

[Shadows From Hell]

Disappearing does sound appealing, even to me, but I also do feel the fact that if anything goes wrong/you are found/ you come back, you will have too many eyes on you/worried about you. Just stressful. The process of disappearing itself is hard if you have anyone remotely interested in looking for you

Yeah, I've considered that possibility of people searching, or something going wrong. Going through heavy depression makes my mind overthink itself.

 

[Redacted24]

For me it's a bit of both. First is to gradually lose ties/ connections with anyone that might care then disappear into the wilderness and arrange for not returning.
People that knew me wouldn't look if I was missing because of time and space... in effect I had already disappeared from their lives and consciousness. They'd just assume I had moved and was living somewhere else.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

For me it's a bit of both. First is to gradually lose ties/ connections with anyone that might care then disappear into the wilderness and arrange for not returning.
People that knew me wouldn't look if I was missing because of time and space... in effect I had already disappeared from their lives and consciousness. They'd just assume I had moved and was living somewhere else.

I've already cut ties with a majority of people. There are very few people left to distance myself from. I think once I do that, it will be so much easier.