Is there anyone here who is really but really desperate?

[S like suicide]

You know I'm reading a lot of threads, a lot of stories and I even talked to some of you and I was wondering how many of you are on the verge of despair?I mean that they really have nothing left to hold on to ... that they are in utter desolation.I read that many of you suffer from a relationship that ended badly, or from debilitating physical or mental problems, or family or economic problems, but I have noticed that in many, despite the pain, you still have reasons to continue living .... maybe a family member , or friends or a hope, or even because he has failed ctb or is not convinced to do so.My question is: is there anyone here who is really, really desperate? Left to themselves, completely alone without even a shred of hope left like me?

 

[Bat 17]

I've been really desperate. I'm not at the moment and that's because I have bipolar disorder, which ebbs and flows, and I'm also on a bucket load of medication which I am taking (when I'm unwell I tend not to). I hate that you are in so much anguish but I also believe that things can improve, even if that's not what you want or need to hear right now. You are not alone in this

 

[Meditation guide]

is there anyone here who is really, really desperate? Left to themselves, completely alone without even a shred of hope left like me?

Many here feel that way, or even most.

If you could offer easy fast painless assisted suicide to everyone on the site at least half would accept it gladly. I would.

 

[S like suicide]

I've been really desperate. I'm not at the moment and that's because I have bipolar disorder, which ebbs and flows, and I'm also on a bucket load of medication which I am taking (when I'm unwell I tend not to). I hate that you are in so much anguish but I also believe that things can improve, even if that's not what you want or need to hear right now. You are not alone in this

Thanks ... in fact I was starting to feel a little out of place and alone also here :-(

 

[Bat 17]

Thanks ... in fact I was starting to feel a little out of place and alone also here :-(

I guess we are all in different stages of struggling, relapse, recovery, things getting better and/or worse. I was a lurker here for a long time but I was also very down and I just couldn't bring myself to communicate and didn't have the energy to even sign up. I'm glad you have done.

 

[DarkWolf]

Yeah I hear you, I'm pretty desperate too. So fucking tired. I tried to ctb twice recently and im too anxious/dead inside to try again. Planning to try again in the next few days. I have no reason to live and 100 reasons to die. It's surreal the world around just continues as normal and I've never been this close to the edge. I always had my dog to stop me doing anything and now she's gone. I've lost everything and have no will to fight. I just need to think it through properly as to not get caught or fail again. I'm looking after someone's dog for a couple of days so I can't do anything right now.

 

[S like suicide]

Yeah I hear you, I'm pretty desperate too. So fucking tired. I tried to ctb twice recently and im too anxious/dead inside to try again. Planning to try again in the next few days. I have no reason to live and 100 reasons to die. It's surreal the world around just continues as normal and I've never been this close to the edge. I always had my dog to stop me doing anything and now she's gone. I've lost everything and have no will to fight. I just need to think it through properly as to not get caught or fail again. I'm looking after someone's dog for a couple of days so I can't do anything right now.

Oh my God is absolutely the same for me!!!i tried to ctb twice recently too but i hurt myself so bad that i needed a time of recover.I' m planning too and i changed method,i also put my announce in the thread of ctb partners but a few people weren't serious about really ctb so they made a back step.I'm losing also this last hope that i had and i think i will ctb alone because i'm too despeare and tired.i have no reason to live too:-( Sorry for your Dog....i always loved dog,had once in my childhood.

 

[filtfarfar]

Yeah I hear you, I'm pretty desperate too. So fucking tired. I tried to ctb twice recently and im too anxious/dead inside to try again. Planning to try again in the next few days. I have no reason to live and 100 reasons to die. It's surreal the world around just continues as normal and I've never been this close to the edge. I always had my dog to stop me doing anything and now she's gone. I've lost everything and have no will to fight. I just need to think it through properly as to not get caught or fail again. I'm looking after someone's dog for a couple of days so I can't do anything right now.

I too have lost everything and have no will to fight. I jumped last fall but ended up making everything worse. After that I am in total despair without any hope whatsoever. I can't function at all anymore. I lie in bed until 3 pm every day and was forced to move back to my parents. Now I am trapped here. I have to get back to my apartment to be able to ctb.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

The things I have are like food and water in the torture chamber.

 

[S like suicide]

I too have lost everything and have no will to fight. I jumped last fall but ended up making everything worse. After that I am in total despair without any hope whatsoever. I can't function at all anymore. I lie in bed until 3 pm every day and was forced to move back to my parents. Now I am trapped here. I have to get back to my apartment to be able to ctb.

Did you jumped?
where did you jump from? did you get some trauma?sorry i'm shocked,how did you survive?was a short jump?

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i am desperate. i'm really starting to lose my shit

 

[filtfarfar]

Did you jumped?
where did you jump from? did you get some trauma?sorry i'm shocked,how did you survive?was a short jump?

Yes I jumped after becoming totally insane of all my physical symptoms. I broke my pelvis and damaged my arms and head. I survived because of insufficient height.

 

[S like suicide]

Yes I jumped after becoming totally insane of all my physical symptoms. I broke my pelvis and damaged my arms and head. I survived because of insufficient height.

Oh my God,I'm very sorry, I imagine how you felt after you survived.
sorry if I keep asking you questions but jumping is my method.

When you hit the ground what did you feel? Did you faint? Or did you feel all the pain? Which floor did you jump from?
-Thanks for the replies-

 

[FuneralCry]

I think at one point last year I was completely in despair and was desperate to leave this world. Now it's kinda like a sense of dread, I see no future for myself and I hope to pass away in my sleep. I already kinda feel like i've already died sometimes. When I read this forum I am reminded of all the suffering in this world. Nobody deserves to live like this and I wish there was peaceful ways out.

 

[EraseRewind]

I've been truly in despair three times in my life and those three times I have made an attempt on my life and because I was so desperate I just did it, no thought, no preparation and no trying to talk to someone. I find that my struggles are much like the roller coaster metaphor, I can feel reasonably ok but then seem to plummet into a low but not really true despair.

I feel that when I enter completely desperate times it is when things have been taken out of my hands, the last time involved law enforcement and I believed my only way out and to save my family the shame was to die. Sadly my mind was so focused on the act and it was completely impromptu and of course I failed, unfortunate because I had completely overcome SI and had accepted this was the end. It was very painful experience and very drawn out recovery though.

I think if I had known of SS then, I still would have done the same thing, the focus and the desperate urge was so strong that I needed to act there and then.

 

[noname223]

I will be in the same position as you in some years. And it seems pretty inevitable. I am very desperate because all attempts fail and it is very likely that nothing will work. At least I can play for time but suicide very likely. Desperation.

 

[filtfarfar]

Oh my God,I'm very sorry, I imagine how you felt after you survived.
sorry if I keep asking you questions but jumping is my method.

When you hit the ground what did you feel? Did you faint? Or did you feel all the pain? Which floor did you jump from?
-Thanks for the replies-

I'm more than happy to answer your questions. Yes, surviving is the worst possible experience imaginable. The chest pains I had and the heart beat rate afterwards were horrific.

My attempt was totally impulsive and forced by my circumstances. I have no memory of the fall or the impact. My last memory before the fall is me opening the window and starting to get myself through (it was a small window), then it's all black. The next thing I remember is the paramedics getting me on a stretcher. Hence I have no memory of neither the fall nor impact, the brain simply removed those parts, maybe I fainted as I fell. I did not feel any pain.

I jumped from the 6th floor but from the place where I jumped there was a hill which made the fall less than 10 m for sure. I landed on asphalt.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, I was just like you and finally ended up trying to ctb and my life became even worse than before. It sucked.

Now, I'm trying to live but...it's so difficult. I don't how longer I'll be able to keep up this.

 

[the_final_countdown]

Many here feel that way, or even most.

If you could offer easy fast painless assisted suicide to everyone on the site at least half would accept it gladly. I would.

If somebody told me, "Hey I have a gun, a bunch of bullets, and going to kill myself soon. I'm willing to pull the trigger. I'll be at such and such address." I would make the trip, thank them for their compassion, put on some hymn music, and get shot in the head.

 

[orlandom]

Is there anyone here who is really but really despe​

Sorry. It's hysterical.


Is your question really desperate here? It's me.

I'm fucked !!!

 

[S like suicide]

I'm more than happy to answer your questions. Yes, surviving is the worst possible experience imaginable. The chest pains I had and the heart beat rate afterwards were horrific.

My attempt was totally impulsive and forced by my circumstances. I have no memory of the fall or the impact. My last memory before the fall is me opening the window and starting to get myself through (it was a small window), then it's all black. The next thing I remember is the paramedics getting me on a stretcher. Hence I have no memory of neither the fall nor impact, the brain simply removed those parts, maybe I fainted as I fell. I did not feel any pain.

I jumped from the 6th floor but from the place where I jumped there was a hill which made the fall less than 10 m for sure. I landed on asphalt.

Jesus Christ !! I'm so sorry for what you went through. And thank you for telling me this. Now I feel calmer knowing that the impact is not felt. It was one of my biggest concerns. I have read a lot about it and in fact many have said the same thing, they do not remember, they have not feel anything and that perhaps they had fainted.The problem comes later if you survive. it is important that there is asphalt underneath and that it is an area free from obstacles.a month ago, near where I live a man committed suicide by jumping himself from the fifth floor and died instantly. very sad but I envied him a lot because I also live on the fifth floor but there is a gate underneath.

 

[ClownMe]

When my dog passes away i will have nothing to live for, if it wasnt for him i would have already knocked myself off.

 

[death137]

Yeah I'm feeling desperate. I hope this is my last month.

 

[S like suicide]

Yeah I'm feeling desperate. I hope this is my last month.

Me too!me too