so tired or manic

so tired or manic

Arcanist
Jun 12, 2020
462
I have many reasons to disassociate, the main one being PTSD. right now is a different case because I'm feeling at least 5 different emotions so instead of feeling them my brain is trying to disconnect. it's been going on all day and it's draining as hell. it also makes it hard to react to something when there's at least 5 different reactions to choose from.

I know a mood stabilizer would be what I really need, but it hadn't really been a problem for a couple months.

I'm worried the emotion disassociation is going to bring up the ptsd stuff and I just don't want to go there.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
I have heard there are techniques for grounding yourself which you could definitely look into. This does seem to be a fairly well understood thing. if you look for communities online more specific to it I'm sure lots of good advice is available.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,897
It depends. If it's a coming and going thing like cryptic_egg said there's ways to ground yourself. If it's a constant thing (like me) all you can really do is fix your disorders that are causing it.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,897
I forgot earlier. Are you doing any drugs? They can cause dissociation. In my case (weed) it just amplifies what's already there but it's either that or I deal with thoughts that are trying to kill me so I can't win. Anyway just thought I'd mention the drugs
 
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so tired or manic

so tired or manic

Arcanist
Jun 12, 2020
462
Are you doing any drugs?

just alcohol. I basically microdose it to keep the brain fog and shakes away. while getting drunk maybe twice a month.

it used to be constant, but it's gotten better. I wouldn't say I'm trauma free, but the main cause of the PTSD has been gone for over a year now. I just live with a narcissist so if I can ever move I'm sure the PTSD will get worse again when things reach a more normal level of living.

I have heard there are techniques for grounding yourself which you could definitely look into.

I used to do this a lot, but it hasn't been necessary for a little while so I guess I forgot. thank you for the reminder.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,897
if I can ever move I'm sure the PTSD will get worse again when things reach a more normal level of living.
yeah i noticed that. my disorders werent that bad but a year after i moved out i went down hill really fast. i have no idea why though, youod think youd have the disorders while living there
 
so tired or manic

so tired or manic

Arcanist
Jun 12, 2020
462
yeah i noticed that. my disorders werent that bad but a year after i moved out i went down hill really fast. i have no idea why though, youod think youd have the disorders while living there

I think it's because during the abuse everything seems normal and you learn to live with it. even being hit is something everyone else is going through, just no one wants to talk about it.

when the abuse is gone long enough and life is more normal you realize that what was happening actually wasn't okay when it was just another day during.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,897
I think it's because during the abuse everything seems normal and you learn to live with it. even being hit is something everyone else is going through, just no one wants to talk about it.

when the abuse is gone long enough and life is more normal you realize that what was happening actually wasn't okay when it was just another day during.
that makes a lot of sense. theres a lot of things ill tell people and theyre looking at me like "mmmmm yeah...thats not normal or ok" and im standing there all confused lol
 
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
I just started all this work. God, I hate it!!! I dissociate so fast and so far away I can't recognise it. I found ways to stop dissociating - or, at least, the work it would take to be able to stop it and to re-integrate.

I'm quite quickly realising I don't have what it takes to go through the work to get there. I can't imagine facing what I need to face and deal with the fallout of memories. And the more I "get to know" myself, the more I absolutely LOATHE myself and would rather die than even entertain the idea of caring for myself.

Fml
 
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_Minsk

_Minsk

death: the cure for life
Dec 9, 2019
1,111
(just my personal experience/beliefs)dissociation is a reaction cause by a lot of distress or traumatic stuff, at least for me. if there's anything which is stressing you prior the dissociation, you could try to find out what it actually is (like crowded places, pressure, etc) and try to stay away from it. dissociation is caused by your body, like "this is too much, gotta dissociate" so i can continue doing what i do. had it a lot during school time, but now it seems to get better, it also seems like my mood plays a big role, if you're already stressed out or depressed, it might increase the chance. since im feeling better now, it seems to fade away i think.. it also seems like once you have experienced it, it stays with you, and it can get triggered easily.. not sure but i could imagine the first time it happend might have caused some trauma, and like ptsd, it gets triggered over and over, so going back to the first time it happend and trying to solve that first trauma might also work, but not sure about it. i just can empathize with you guys, it sucks and it scared the shit out of me. over time i also have stopped trying to resist it, i go fully into it and not fight it anymore, maybe this has made it less frequent, not sure..
 
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candyapple

candyapple

Member
Jun 24, 2020
6
others have already offered good advice but i'll add my two cents:

when I'm disassociating i go through a routine of focusing on each of my senses (sight, smell, sound, touch) one at a time. seeing the way the light reflects off the wall, smelling the coffee being brewed at the nearby cafe, hearing the sound of my keyboard taps, feeling the weight of the fabric of my blanket. these sorts of things. that's basically what grounding is. focusing on these physical sensations helps pull my mind back down to earth and away from the emotional cloud in my mind. idk if that sounds cheesy, but yeah
 
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