First of all i want to say I am a true believer of Jesus. I believe he died for my sin and saved me from its eternal consequence. But like most of you guys my life is a day and night torture and agony. My suffering is beyond description. But that does not and can not take my belief in Jesus. Even he himself live a life of suffering in this world. I prayed for years to him to give me relief from my suffering. But I got no answer. But I understand he knows my pains not in any way indifferent or cruel. Once when I was praying I heard God talking to my heart. I believe he said to me his plan is not to give me relief for the remaining 10 or 20 years in this world, But to give me relief for ever. That is what he said to me. At that moment my plan was to endure to pains and suffering of my life for the next 20 years or so and wait for so called my settled day of death. But as most of you practically know there is a point you come to in life where the reality of living any more become genuinely meaningless, unworthy, unbearable, very very very painful and unjust. And you will be left with no choice but to accept that fact. I have come to that point right now. So I decided to leave this world and go to my eternal relief. because God told me that is his plan for me and nothing can change what he said. Not even my act of committing suicide. His word will remain eternally true. Most believers don't agree with my decision.( Even though they know they can't prove me wrong) I wish I can accept there advice.but practically, it is impossible. I am not focusing on death( though I have learned it is not easy earned). All I am focusing on is the eternal relief after it. And I wonder and I am eager to know if there is anyone who have same thought and reach to similar conclusion.
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your god has forsaken you. he makes you suffer but if you kill yourself you'll be rewarded by going to haven. christian logic 1 on 1
I do not consider myself Christian, but I want to believe in One God. If I am to ctb, I want to depart in communion with Him. I pray without words that he forgive me my trespasses, that His mercy and compassion prevail over justice and wrath, for He truly knows human hearts and minds. I want to come back to the Straight Path, and God knows best.
I agree, the sooner we can meet Jesus the better, Life is hell but death leads us to eternal happiness.
SadJessu
Just tired.
- Aug 17, 2020
- 168
Hello OP. I am also a practicing Christian (Roman Catholic), so I can relate greatly. I just want to warn you though, many here are very anti-religious, which is why I often choose not to speak of it myself. Expect some backlash.
Even Jesus suffered in this world and said he was forsaken. This is a perfect example how human suffering in this world make it look like God has forsaken us. I have said that myself many times. But deep inside I know he doesn't. that is my point of view I see the next 20 years he see eternity. Let's agree on this his logic always win ours. But my point was when our temporary life become unbearable I believe we can still rely on his mercy( for taking our own life) and go to our eternal home. Sorry if your offended but that is the only hope I have.
looseye
A boring person.
- Oct 27, 2021
- 187
What's the point in being toxic in reaction to a religious post on a forum for suicidal people? Do you really think you will magically change OP's view by being a bitch about it? For fuck's sake...
I believe that too God knows best. I also believe his mercy and compassion prevail justice and wrath. That is why I believe I will be with him after death.
Pluto
Cat Extremist
- Dec 27, 2020
- 5,230
Can anything practical be done about your situation? Has all action been taken? As the joke about the man in the flood teaches, some problems should not be treated as purely religious phenomena.
Based on my background of NDE studies, some of which feature Jesus, there is no question that you will go to heaven. There is no use fearing otherwise. God is not a meanie. The only question is whether you will feel that you 'completed your mission' as much as possible.
In my own case, I feel that I need some sort of meaningful revelation or help in order to continue. I'm not really in the business of criticising or judging God since I know nothing of the larger context of my life or the people who abused me. However, I feel I've done my best here and always had the genuine intention to be of service to others in the highest sense.
A flower without water will die, as will a person deprived of all worldly and spiritual nourishment, and if/when my turn comes to be unable to continue, I'm doing so with a pretty clean conscience based on where my heart is at.
@Escapee - I grew up in a pretty conservative Christian home. Still consider myself conservative and Christian, but I apply the lens internally, not on other people. With that said, I understand your point of view. After my situation drove me to this place, I read Job (someone who wanted to kill himself based on the situation) and listened to inspirational homilies. After all of it, I still feel the need to leave. I am hurt and feel abandoned. My mom (who is a therapist) gives the standard line about giving God time, it's preparing me for something better. She also likes to say that the persons that hurt me will be found out and will be punished. You and I both know that is not true. So much injustice happens and people go unpunished in this life. Their punishment may come in the afterlife, but I'm tired of being here and seeing it happen continuously. I'm ready to move on.
A very sensible thing you said. I have reached that point. I may even boast I ha e surpassed it. Yes I did. The miracle is why is the flower still here.
At least you have a mom who understand you. I have not found a soul who believe how I am being tortured by people 24/7 let alone comfort me with their being found out and be punished.
At least you have a mom who understand you. I have not found a soul who believe how I am being tortured by people 24/7 let alone comfort me with their being found out and be punished.
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TakeMeBack07
Failure
- Jan 16, 2022
- 128
I really hope you do.
However there is no assurance from scripture. right? But I believe that there are many times where it is implicitly stated that your life isn't yours to take. Be careful since this your eternal life that you could be gambling.
I know you are right. I heard that many times from myself and others. My life is not mine to take. I still believe it. But it has become impossible for me to live that truth. Believing it and living it will become two things impossible to reconcile if you are in my place.
Venus13
Experienced
- Oct 2, 2022
- 233
I'm truly sorry to hear that. That's the life I've led as well. I wish you nothing but peace, here before you go.
I'm a "gnostic" so a different view of other realms and Christ's teachings, but I believe in Christ and I feel decently well about my crossing. I do believe Christ is a living figure. A real heart-to-heart in prayer any chance you can get is good. I pray daily at this point. I don't think suicide is my supported path from His point of view. It's hard though, more than hard. If it happens I know punishment won't be waiting. I think the punishment is here when you stop seeking. Stay true, I wish you comfort.
rationaltake
I'm rocking it - in another universe
- Sep 28, 2021
- 2,707
I seem to have a natural empathy for Buddhism but the one person who really shared my views on spirituality and conversed with me generously and compassionately was a Roman Catholic.
yea this is a suicidal forum people can be feeling a little down
i see no point in affirming people's stupid believes. i just pointed out the flaw in his logic in a crass manner. and yeah people's views on life, including god, do change. not 'magically' but they do.
