Is telling someone how low you are helpful at all?

[GrumpyFrog]

Hey everyone! Currently, woe is me to an overwhelming extent, so I'm here to ask for advice.
Do you think telling someone you know IRL that you're suicidal or just that you are really really not doing well can help at all, if you're not sure what kind of help you're expecting from the person? I am, generally, rather settled on CTB, but I am not entirely against the idea of looking into other options. I'm posting this in the recovery thread because I know the answer that is applicable in case when someone is dead set on CTB - it is not a good idea to talk to people. But if we approach this from an angle where I am willing to look into alternatives and not CTB - is telling someone a good idea? Is there any chance that it will help somehow and is it worth the risks?
Specifically in my case, I don't have any close "loved ones". I have a couple of people that seem relatively "safe" and would be willing to hear me out if I ask to have a serious conversation, that's about it, that's what I'm going for.

Thank you in advance.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i personally find it helpful. the people i talk to already know my backstory and what not so im just "omg kill me" and its cool (obviously not really because they dont want me to, but they understand forcing anything wont help either).

if you're not sure what kind of help you're expecting from the person?

i think a good place to start might be figuring this out, even if its "im not feeling ok and i need someone to just listen so im not alone" and then if things are going ok, maybe you can talk to them about the next step.

I am willing to look into alternatives and not CTB

this is your safe card. (normally unless laws are different in your country, but for the most part) they can only do anything if you are in IMMEDIATE danger. if youre considering other options, then youre safe.

Specifically in my case, I don't have any close "loved ones". I have a couple of people that seem relatively "safe" and would be willing to hear me out if I ask to have a serious conversation, that's about it, that's what I'm going for.

i think that this depends on how you feel about the person. some people i talk to and others i dont bother with although i know if need be i could talk to either person

 

[achromatic]

I can't say anything for sure - there's always a risk that it'll be upsetting/ make things worse but I sincerely think that when having even a little bit of doubts about cbt it's worth to explore all the options - dying is not going anywhere.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Well, I'd start by asking yourself what you might be looking to gain from the conversation. You said you're not sure what you want going in, but possibly try to define that somewhat in your own mind first, going forward.

Think too about who you're talking to. Do you have any idea how they'll likely respond? Do you have any reason to suspect they'll take it poorly and panic on your behalf?

Some people like to talk and find it cathartic, and don't necessarily want a solution. Other people want answers or help from the person they're confiding in. Which category do you fall into?

A lot of times, I find I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut when opening up to someone who doesn't talk to me the way I like. I beat myself up about that poor judgement after the fact, but in the moment I wanted some comfort. So can I really fault myself for it? Hard to say. But I think it's always smart to be very picky about who you discuss these things with.

Wishing you the best always Nessie.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Do you think telling someone you know IRL that you're suicidal or just that you are really really not doing well can help at all, if you're not sure what kind of help you're expecting from the person?

Actually, I do think it can help, if it is the "right" type of person. As I understand it, the act of "telling your story" can help people recover from trauma (or other things). Speaking the words also can help people think differently about their situations.

[Personally, I've had it go either way.]

 

[Venus13]

I think it's one of the best things you can do to explore recovery options.

 

[Alayna]

this is your safe card. (normally unless laws are different in your country, but for the most part) they can only do anything if you are in IMMEDIATE danger. if youre considering other options, then youre safe.

Be careful, legal or not I've been committed for the admission of ideation, without even having a plan at the time.

Think too about who you're talking to. Do you have any idea how they'll likely respond? Do you have any reason to suspect they'll take it poorly and panic on your behalf?

Actually, I do think it can help, if it is the "right" type of person. As I understand it, the act of "telling your story" can help people recover from trauma (or other things). Speaking the words also can help people think differently about their situations.

Agreed, it's very relationship dependent. Partially because you might get admitted (and therefore be cut down on options), but also bc it could compromise an important relationship or hurt the other person. It's also tricky bc if you haven't already had the conversation, even a close friend who you'd expect to understand might react poorly. So definitely ease yourself into the conversation if you can and take the time (if you're able to) for feeling out their understanding and views on the topic. You might even find they've had similar experiences.

But on the whole, if you think you'll be able to find a solid confidante I'd say definitely yes, especially if you're not certain. Being heard and understood and cared and having your feelings and thoughts validated makes everything so much more bearable, whatever route you ultimately choose to take. So much of the pain we go through is because this topic is so taboo.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Be careful, legal or not I've been committed for the admission of ideation, without even having a plan at the time.

ive told my therapist i was going to kms the night before and i had the cops take me off a bridge (and while it had nothing to do with what was going on, i informed them that i had a knife on me) and all they did was bring me home.
i didnt go into everything about getting around it in my op. and if the department isnt following protocol, i cant change crooked systems, but if theyre trying to stop me ill certainly point it out

 

[achromatic]

I too have been commited only because of ideation (but I was a minor at that time) and for a 3 weeks, fucked me over completely. My experiences and reliving memories from psych ward both from first time and second after an attempt are huge reason for me to get it over with. I don't even know why it causing me so much suffering because it's not a sufficient reason to get trauma.
But outside of that - I think it's unlikely to get commited in your case, even less so if you won't mention concrete plan, honestly there is a lot o people who didn't get sent there even when begging for it, or after an attempt. Talking to right person can be really cathartic and it's worth trying. I hope you choose what's right for you and best wishes to you.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Thank you for your advice and input, everyone. I considered all points of view.
So far I am concluding that this isn't worth the risk, because I do not have anyone close enough to judge if they are the "right" kind of person, and the precious few personal relationships I have are way too shaky to test with something this heavy.