Is suicide actually a good thing for a family to experience in order to shake them out of their complacency?

[V0latile]

I feel that my wanting to protect my parents and adult siblings by not ctb is actually misguided. Life is hell and people shouldn't be sheltered from it all the time by hiding from it with the help of their delusions of positivity, etc. My death will push them all into the next stage of their life where they'll learn to overcome some tough shit and maybe look in the mirror.

 

[LastFlowers]

I wouldn't count on that, unfortunately a lot of people fall deeper into their delusions after tragedy.

 

[V0latile]

I wouldn't count on that, unfortunately a lot of people fall deeper into their delusions after tragedy.

Going through life with self imposed delusions disgusts me. I can't respect people like that regardless of how nice they might be.

 

[The.End]

What doesn't break you makes you stronger. Suicide is known to break and destroy a lot of strong people.

 

[Saroshi]

I personally think expecting suicide to positively affect anyone else besides yourself is not a a good thought. At best, people feel sad and move on after rationalizing the event. Somewhere in between, there is complete indifference. At worst, it shakes someone, and leads to a spiral down.

The idea that another's suicide was directly your fault is unnerving, and leads to self-blaming.

 

[Fragile]

you could also argue that whatever reasons we have to be here are also supposed to give us that experiene and make us stronger, and yet most of us won't live because the pain is too much to take.

tragedy is very hard to overcome and all people suffer in different ways. but i see no way in which a family could benefit from something as traumatic and shocking as a suicide, not emotionally at least.

will the suicide of a family member make you personally stronger and shake you off your desire to CTB? or will it just take you deeper and deeper into despair?

that thing about what doesn't break you makes you stronger is bullshit, you just break little by little until there is nothing else to break.

 

[SerenitySeeker]

@Fragile, you took the words right out of my mouth. Very well stated.

It's not easy for anyone involved and will never be. The only thing you can do is make the best decision for yourself. I will agree that not cbt'ing for the sole sake of not wanting to hurt loved ones isn't enough if you don't find a way to want to live for yourself and/or deal/heal with life's fucked up experiences. I say this from personal experience. I did that for years but it isn't sustainable long term.

 

[C_F]

I feel you. I've thought this too but more so with all my friends (but family too). I've expressed needing help. But nobody helps... nobody checks in. Perhaps my suicide will wake them up. From then on, they will take more seriously anyone in their life that expresses suicidal ideation. My suicide could save others. I won't CTB for that reason, but that could be a silver lining.

 

[Thatdude]

I wouldn't count on that, unfortunately a lot of people fall deeper into their delusions after tragedy.

I'm iffy on this.

1 of 3 things will happen.
1. It will mess them or one of them up. Maybe to the point they off themselves.
2. They just don't care. After a short period of being sad, they will act like nothing happened.
3. They will get worse.

If they liked you a lot, then 1 will happen. I remember of a story of a son that off himself because he was accused of false rape. The mom off herself and this leaving the daughter alone. The daughter in an interview said she would've off herself if it wasn't for her grandmother wouldn't have anyone.

Chances are 2 will happen.


Now if you want to off yourself to get back at them then IMO that is stupid. They most likely don't know why you're mad.

 

[LastFlowers]

I'm iffy on this.

1 of 3 things will happen.
1. It will mess them or one of them up. Maybe to the point they off themselves.
2. They just don't care. After a short period of being sad, they will act like nothing happened.
3. They will get worse.

If they liked you a lot, then 1 will happen. I remember of a story of a son that off himself because he was accused of false rape. The mom off herself and this leaving the daughter alone. The daughter in an interview said she would've off herself if it wasn't for her grandmother wouldn't have anyone.

Chances are 2 will happen.


Now if you want to off yourself to get back at them then IMO that is stupid. They most likely don't know why you're mad.

For me, 2 is definitely what will happen except there won't even be a short period of actually being sad..besides, if someone actually cared about someone else , they will be affected until the day they die.

 

[Eurus]

In my case,the best I can hope for is 3 but my head tells me 1 might happen to my dad which Stalls me from ctb

 

[Lethe]

Yeah I'm worried about what it will do to my mom and grandparents. My mom has outright said that if I go, it will be the end of her as well. I've thought about getting an extra bottle of SN and Meto, and wrapping it up in a box with detailed instructions if she ever has to use it.

 

[Elias]

This is a good point, though I only agree about the opinion that we shouldn't shelter other people from the things life is capable to do. If the solution people give me in order to "fix me" is "live with your trauma and learn to cope with it" then I would like to politely answer in kind about my suicide.
I have seen and experienced things that are so much worse than a simple "someone close took his own life peacefully" that I am convinced there's a high probability people will recover.
That they would learn things from it though? Nah, I don't have that kind of faith in people lmao. My family will most likely never reflect on my upbringing and will blame whatever suits them, my laziness, the fact that I didn't make the right choices, didn't do this, that, didn't follow religion to the letter, etc; it's a defense mechanism after all. My friends will probably think this is another one of my episodes like the previous ones that landed me in the psych ward and in jail.
In any case, they WILL recover, I'd bet my life on it. Oh wait. :)