Discussion Is shame a valid reason to CTB?

[Daktalsnakal]

I first joined this site around January if I remember correctly, and at that time I felt ready to do it but I just needed help or ideas on how, I found them and to this day I still have the majority of the supplies necessary but being on this site is a big help and often the people here without even knowing so have helped me keep going. But here I am again and I'm curious on what you folks think. Pretty much I wanna die because I'm ashamed of myself, I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through and of the person I am as a whole. I'm a bum. I'm also pretty young and not too bad looking and in pretty good health I can have a promising life if I want and if I really pushed but days like today I dont have any push, even the smallest of obstacles like eating seem too much and I think I might as well end it here and now because no matter how much I do push it wont be enough I won't be satisfied I've dug myself too deep. Should I just end my problems and in a sense start over? Be born again or maybe just disappear to nothing or maybe even go to hell? Or should I keep climbing and simultaneously dig myself deeper in the hopes that I'll make it one day?

 

[ebt88]

Any reason is valid as long you consider it valid. It's your life, do whatever you want with it.

 

[Daktalsnakal]

Any reason is valid as long you consider it valid. It's your life, do whatever you want with it.

I guess that's a big problem with myself I worry too much about what others might think. Not just regarding suicide but in general. Your right it is my life and I should feel free to do with it whatever I please.

 

[TAW122]

Historically, in cultures where pride and honor are of utmost importance, then yes, bringing shame upon oneself and/or one's own family/kin would propel such an individual to CTB (e.g. feudal Japan for instance). Also, what @ebt88 said, any reason can be a valid reason to CTB as long as you consider it to be valid (since nobody except you lives your own life).

 

[Daktalsnakal]

Historically, in cultures where pride and honor are of utmost importance, then yes, bringing shame upon oneself and/or one's own family/kin would propel such an individual to CTB (e.g. feudal Japan for instance). Also, what @ebt88 said, any reason can be a valid reason to CTB as long as you consider it to be valid (since nobody except you lives your own life).
Very true I never even took history into consideration

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Do you think you can turn things around? Do you have a desire to turn things around? Are there things you still want out of life? Do you see hope for a future that makes you proud?

If you answer yes to any of those, I suspect it will be challenging for you to actually ctb. I agree that any reason is a valid reason because it's your choice. I also know that it's really hard to make that ultimate decision. I've been there twice myself and have backed out. What I guess I'm saying is that even if shame is a valid reason to end your story, if you don't want it to be the end, it definitely doesn't have to be. If you thought there was no redemption possible, then I think it would be an easier decision.

Just my thoughts.

 

[scorpiooo2]

Anything that makes you feel bad can be a valid reason, I'm ashamed of several things I've done in my life and the thought and memory of them consume my mind often.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Shame is not objectively valuable, it is only as significant as the importance you assign to it. Personally, I find there is hardly a more despicable feeling than shame, so I avoid it at all costs. I refuse to allow myself to feel shame, I believe there is some justification (prior cause) for anything and everything I do. I used to feel guilty about being so pessimistic, with pro-lifers chastising me constantly about my negative views, and I used to think I was missing something that they saw and I did not. Now, I realise that's just their subjective viewpoint, and it has no basis in reality. So, fuck them. It isn't truth, and neither are my feelings truth, but at the end of the day, I have to answer to my own feelings, not theirs.

 

[Daktalsnakal]

Do you think you can turn things around? Do you have a desire to turn things around? Are there things you still want out of life? Do you see hope for a future that makes you proud?

If you answer yes to any of those, I suspect it will be challenging for you to actually ctb. I agree that any reason is a valid reason because it's your choice. I also know that it's really hard to make that ultimate decision. I've been there twice myself and have backed out. What I guess I'm saying is that even if shame is a valid reason to end your story, if you don't want it to be the end, it definitely doesn't have to be. If you thought there was no redemption possible, then I think it would be an easier decision.

Just my thoughts.

I appreciate this thank you

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Absolutely. Shame is a horrible, sickening feeling.

 

[Daktalsnakal]

Absolutely. Shame is a horrible, sickening feeling.

I agree, it's very bitter. (Pun intended)

 

[OhItsZemblanity]

Absolutely. As has been said a few times, it's your life and you decide what is valid enough to CTB. I've been depressed for fuckin ages despite being almost 27, I'm not in great health, I'm ashamed of 99% of the choices I've made in life and I feel pretty much abandoned by my closest friends who all know I'm pretty much ready to die at any moment. All of em have put out different options to fix this and that and don't think I have any valid reasons because "life is worth living!". It certainly could be worth it, but I don't have the energy or effort to put into making it worth it anymore. That's just how it is now. No one can take away the validity of what hurts you bad enough you choose to CTB. No one but you.

 

[Pan]

It is interesting that you bring this question up, given that my toxic shame is leading me to suicide. I have a second home in Belize and will probably end up going back only to shoot myself on the beach. Guns-legal and illegal - are easily available. I never thought it would end this way for me. I hear you, in short, and feel your pain.