I'm at the point where I want to recover, but the thought it may not be possible is looming over my head. I don't see me ever being happy again and I don't just want to survive and barely get through life. My daughter just died. My fiancé had to block me because of his family threatening to kick him out if he didn't. I have a son who I don't get to see. I want to find happiness somewhere but I don't know if it's possible with everything I've been through.
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Sister of the Moon
Student
- Dec 17, 2021
- 191
dss262
Member
- Nov 23, 2021
- 74
I've been watching YouTube videos interviewing people who have attempted. They say it does get better but not without effort and patience. This is the furthest I've been, the planning phase, but it was on the back of my mind since I was 15. I always had that fire that kept me going, pursuing the next big goal. Now that's gone and I catch myself putting out the spark because I don't want to fail, yet again.
Blue_mist
Mortal
- Apr 14, 2021
- 230
Full recovery? NOT a chance.
Some people might feel fake recovery for a while, but relapses are always inevitable
Some people might feel fake recovery for a while, but relapses are always inevitable
Red
Warlock
- Apr 10, 2019
- 744
I really hoped so. I clung to a lot - romantic relationships, family, health situation, career, to try to keep me from feeling so utterly hopeless that I wasn't really entitled to a life.
I can't say for sure that if all these things were resolved, I'd still want to be here, but having only one (or maybe half of one) out of three, I feel incomplete and pretty useless. I'd like to think that if all the pieces were in place, I'd still want to be here (I most certainly put off active suicidal behaviour while there was hope in any two of those categories) but while the situation feels hopeless in these headers I just want out.
There are some people who will never be happy no matter what they have or achieve. Others only need key pieces to be in place to be able to push on. Others still cling to what they can before finally realising they've been driving a dead horse for years…
For me, I just don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore - I've never felt like I've been accepted anywhere or a part of any thing; I've never got a foothold in life and anytime I get close it just crumbled beneath me almost instantaneously. I don't have friends or family or even my health to build out from - the only thing I ever seem to secure is a tenuous relationship with a member of the opposite sex, where I'm usually still feeling like I'm not useful or valued even in that relationship, let alone in any other. Someone or something is always very quick to remind you of how you're failing and how much you're falling short of where you should be.
Tldr; a lot of it is perception. It's about what you're happy living with and without. It's working out if there is a future ahead or if it's just going to be a continued misery for years to come, again and again, banging your head against a wall that doesn't ever move or relent in any way; whether the force behind you can get any stronger or just stay the same gentle breeze it's always felt to be. Sometimes determination can overcome that barrier. Sometimes it simply melts and evaporates before it. Sometimes all you need is one person to believe you in you, fully and completely.
Whatever the answer to this question is lies within you, and only you. And it's a tough one to figure out! But I wish you the best of luck in your quest to find out. I think you can if you have the right support behind you (including your own will as well as others). Others just fall by the wayside. I guess it's up to us individually if we can recover or not.
Best of luck to you
I'm sorry that life has taken such an awful turn for you. It can get better, but there are no guarantees x
I can't say for sure that if all these things were resolved, I'd still want to be here, but having only one (or maybe half of one) out of three, I feel incomplete and pretty useless. I'd like to think that if all the pieces were in place, I'd still want to be here (I most certainly put off active suicidal behaviour while there was hope in any two of those categories) but while the situation feels hopeless in these headers I just want out.
There are some people who will never be happy no matter what they have or achieve. Others only need key pieces to be in place to be able to push on. Others still cling to what they can before finally realising they've been driving a dead horse for years…
For me, I just don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore - I've never felt like I've been accepted anywhere or a part of any thing; I've never got a foothold in life and anytime I get close it just crumbled beneath me almost instantaneously. I don't have friends or family or even my health to build out from - the only thing I ever seem to secure is a tenuous relationship with a member of the opposite sex, where I'm usually still feeling like I'm not useful or valued even in that relationship, let alone in any other. Someone or something is always very quick to remind you of how you're failing and how much you're falling short of where you should be.
Tldr; a lot of it is perception. It's about what you're happy living with and without. It's working out if there is a future ahead or if it's just going to be a continued misery for years to come, again and again, banging your head against a wall that doesn't ever move or relent in any way; whether the force behind you can get any stronger or just stay the same gentle breeze it's always felt to be. Sometimes determination can overcome that barrier. Sometimes it simply melts and evaporates before it. Sometimes all you need is one person to believe you in you, fully and completely.
Whatever the answer to this question is lies within you, and only you. And it's a tough one to figure out! But I wish you the best of luck in your quest to find out. I think you can if you have the right support behind you (including your own will as well as others). Others just fall by the wayside. I guess it's up to us individually if we can recover or not.
Best of luck to you
I'm sorry that life has taken such an awful turn for you. It can get better, but there are no guarantees x
UpandDownPrincess
Elementalist
- Dec 31, 2019
- 833
YES. Recovery is possible.
Having said that, it may look very different than what you imagine it to be. It may be that you learn to live with your difficult feelings, not that they go away. Everyone has his or her own threshold for what he or she can put up with. You might just be stronger than you think!
sickofbeinghere
sad girl
- Oct 27, 2021
- 56
recovery IS possible. however you've just recently had some severe and traumatic things happen- so its gonna get worse before it gets better - but it WILL get better. Hope means everything in dark times. im so sorry about everything you've just gone through. it's fucking awful. I hope one day your painful and life-changing experiences can become your motivator not your tormentor. i know its hard to see but through these experiences of abandonment and loss your independence is gonna become your strength in future. take care and all the best, we're all here if you ever need to vent or chat.
Michael Jackson was famous for the "Moonwalk"; I'm sure more than a few of us have mastered the "Backslide". A book I found comforting is Martin Butler's RELAX, YOU"RE FUCKED.
Like this forum, it's very comforting to know others are out there who struggle as well, and resist buying into the dominant religio-consumerist ideological claptrap.
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Sherri
Archangel
- Sep 28, 2020
- 13,794
Sorry about what you going through. After many doctors and many experiences on me by each one of them, I found one that got me at least functional. I have better days than bad days, it's a day by day step for me. Love And being in a relationship help me too. Am I truly happy? Sometimes.I wish you find a way to become better.
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