Venting Is my reason to die pathetic?

[Ameya]

I have been thinking about ctb for a long time now in my life and hoped it would get better. Now my academics suck so much they might be the final push I need to ctb. Since I am still trying hard, but my grades are still bad. I just don't know anymore. Depending on my grades I will decide if I cbt or not. I feel guilty, because it's such a stupid reason to cbt... Or more my final grade decides now, when I will die. It's not really my only reason, but a big factor. Since I know working life isn't better at all after school. (I have worked before). I could drop out since I already own a degree, but I worked so hard on getting a higher one and still fail and fail. It's like running against a brick wall.
I have to decide until july if I want to cbt. It's my own personal deadline. Deciding if going through that stress again is worth it.

 

[WornOutLife]

No, it's not pathetic at all. I've read lots of posts about people wanting to ctb because of their studies.
Personally, I think the system or our families put too much pressure on us.

Some years ago, I was very scared of failing my exams until I finally exploded and told my parents to STFU and not tell me what to do anymore. They finally understood and it took me some time but started doing better.

Also, not studying or failing at it makes us suicidal because we think our lives will suck if we don't have a degree.

However, you can have a great life anyway. I have a friend who didn't even finish high school but started watching some programming videos on youtube and now he works as a freelance programmer and earns more money than me, who have a degree, lol.

 

[Ameya]

No, it's not pathetic at all. I've read lots of posts about people wanting to ctb because of their studies.
Personally, I think the system or our families put too much pressure on us.

Some years ago, I was very scared of failing my exams until I finally exploded and told my parents to STFU and not tell me what to do anymore. They finally understood and it took me some time but started doing better.

Also, not studying or failing at it makes us suicidal because we think our lives will suck if we don't have a degree.

However, you can have a great life anyway. I have a friend who didn't even finish high school but started watching some programming videos on youtube and now he works as a freelance programmer and earns more money than me, who have a degree, lol.

It's difficult for me to live with suicidal thoughts 24/7. I mean I planned on ctb long time ago. My grades basically just prospone my death or not.

You're a little sweetheart commenting on almost everyone's posts. I see you everywhere haha. Thank you for that btw

 

[BottomlessPit]

I think there are no pathetic reasons for ctb. Everyone views things differently and what others find bearable, others find excruciating. I'm in similar situation to yours, I've been wanting to ctb for half a decade but the exams I'm currently doing finally push me to act on my urges. There is no single cause that explains why I want to ctb, rather many reasons that all add up.

 

[lmplsss]

I wouldn't say it's pathetic because stress can really lead to some unpleasant outcomes. However, I kind of want to let the tiniest bit of Prolifer in me to say that please don't let your grades decide whether you live or not. I see that you already have a degree so treasure that and just stick with it. Quite frankly, I don't think you need this extra degree since it's giving you such a hard time. A nice little four year college is already enough and you've worked hard on that!

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't think that is a pathetic reason to want to die. Pressure and stress can cause our minds to torture us as I was quite suicidal when I had to do exams.

 

[Alec]

I've come to realize that no reason is "pathetic" because every reason is different for everyone and it only had to make sense and be important enough to the person making the decision. Because no body is the same and we all have different scales to which we measure life and try to live up to and we all have different definition of what's a good and worth living life is, and honestly I think that's how it should be, we are all different and it's ok. For whatever it's worth I'm will never laugh at whatever your reasons are, I will respect your choice and your decision, it's your life, only you can make a final decision and have a final say, the least I and everyone else can do is to respect it. I love you