Is life really worth it?...

[cacskunk]

Hi,

I'm a 37 years old black gay man. I have a job that I"m comfortable with but I hate it because I am not growing and I can't seem to advance or change careers easily despite having a Masters degree. I am also suffering from chronic physical and mental illnesses. I've been diagnosed with three painful conditions such as Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy, Multiple Sclerosis, and Interstitial Cystitis. None of these conditions have a cure and I deal with pain daily. I also have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia, and Avoidant Personality Disorder. This has pevented me from having meaningful relationships as I have no outside friends and I also do not have a drivers license. I will start seeing a psychiatrist next week as I have already been taking Prozac but have admitted to my general practicioner that I am suicidal. I have already seen a therapist for more than a year and was diagnosed with the comorbid mental disorders by a neuro-psychologist.

I'm married but I am not happy with my partner because he stopped having sex with me after nearly 4 months of marriage and we have been together nearly four years. He also has a hard time keeping his job as he tends to go back and forth to the same one. I've had several downfalls financially as well. I have failed in business and am in $40k in debt with that and also have nearly $80k in personal debt not including my mortgage. Life is hard and painful and I have been in chronic pain for more than half my life and have dealt with mental illness my entire life. I honestly don't want to live anymore. I've contemplated suicide for nearly 20 years and did not think I would live to see 30. I'm now wondering will I make it to 40.

 

[booray]

Welcome to SS. I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. The title of your post asks if life is really worth it. Only you can answer that for yourself, but I have to think that it is. Otherwise, why would we be here in the first place? However, the circumstances of our lives can overwhelm us to the point where life is no longer worth living. That's where I'm at. We are here to listen and understand, but it's against the rules for us to tell you whether or not to end your life. That is for you to decide, and we will support you whichever way you choose.

 

[Wandering_Fox]

Whether life is worth it or not is mostly subjective. That is up to you to decide. But I will say that you have some pretty good reasons to end it there. I hope you find peace whether you decide to live or end it.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Hello, I'm sorry to hear about your difficult situation. You've made it surprisingly far considering the BS you've clearly had to deal with. As for the question is life worth it? I would say it's a personal question. For me, no, my life isn't worth it. For you? Only you can ultimately decide. And others will make their judgement based on their feelings and experiences. What I am confident about is that there should be an easy way to die that is legal and permissible. At LEAST make it a product we can pay for like any other good or service.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life can be cruel and terrible, as humans we don't deserve to suffer to the extent that we do. I wish you the best with whatever option you take. I understand why you would be suicidal after all of that, we deserve an peaceful option as a way out.