Suffering in this existence will only ever get more dreadful and unbearable, no matter what I really will always see it as an abomination to exist, to me existence itself is the most terrible tragic mistake that just causes so much harm and suffering all for the sake of it and problems there was never a need for, nothing no matter what would make me wish for the suffering and cruelty of existence. It'll get worse for me as what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself and I suffer so much from being conscious burdened with this cruel, futile existence just waiting for death anyway and I just get more tired of it all as time goes on.
I just find it such a terrible, dreadful tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all with suffering seen as to force and prolong no matter what without the option for me to just peacefully cease existing and never exist ever again, I just hope and wish for non-existence, I just wish for this torturous unnecessary existence to be no longer my problem. I find it deeply undesirable to exist in every way and what terrifies me is how a human can suffer for so much longer just to be tortured dying in agony from old age with no limit as to how much agony they can feel, only non-existence can personally solve what I see as the true problem which is existence itself, I just want peace from the burden of existence, I wish for peace from this cruel existence I wish I was never forced into more than anything.
