Is it your “business” to advise people about their health online?

[WitheringAway]

A couple days ago I came across a YouTuber who clearly suffers from obesity. Her whole channel revolves merely around her mukbanging fast food and destroying herself further. She seems to be choosing her thumbnails very carefully to draw more attention and shock to the amount of food she consumes. As I read through her comments many people seem to be enjoying her content and encouraging her toxic destructive behavior. They even engage in arguments with other commenters who merely seem to be expressing concerns about her health and well being. I personally think she seems like a nice lady with a big heart but my god how sad it is to watch her do this to herself for other people's shock and entertainment. I know this might be her income but it really made me feel sad and depressed to watch her deep down in the dumps eating herself to death. She doesn't seem to have anyone in her life who cares enough to encourage her to get the help she desperately needs. I commented spontaneously and irrationally and asked her if she has anyone in her life to help her and the backlash I received is insane "not of your business" "If you don't like it don't watch" etc she eventually responded to me and told me her family is dead and she gave birth to 2 sons that were adopted by their grandparents. She said they barely know her and she didn't have any contact with them. That made me more sad for her but what infuriates more is the enablers who encourage her. Now I myself have struggled with other forms of self harm but what's really toxic about this is her putting it out for everyone to see especially vulnerable young people. I saw a young girl comment about how she inspires her to eat more since she believed she had an eating disorder and can go a whole day without eating. Now that's fucked up. I genuinely believed this: if you choose to harm yourself I'm not judging you just do it in a way that doesn't harm others.

 

[catalepsy]

Depends on who we're talking about. Total stranger in some random YT channel? I probably couldn't be bothered. A good friend of mine who I talk to online for convenience? Maybe. I've been bugging my roommate about going to the E.R. for a few days now because she's clearly got gallstones, or pancreatitis, and it could escalate into a life threatening condition if she's not careful. I don't think that's too pushy or unreasonable.

 

[Lupgevif]

if you choose to harm yourself I'm not judging you just do it in a way that doesn't harm others

You clearly are judging her, and she's not harming anybody, whoever chooses to mimic her is harming themselves.

 

[Meditation guide]

Fat shaming.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

If one sees the potential signs of mental illness in another (making a huge assumption about this Youtuber) is it wrong for the OP to reach out proactively?

I can understand both perspectives.

I lean towards reaching out to help, but 100% can accept, if you see this as an "it's none of your business" answer back to me and/or the OP.

My personality very much tends to tilt towards the "reach out to help" angle vs "mind your own business".

I think both alternatives need to be considered based on the overall dynamic of any given situation.

 

[Meditation guide]

Over half the population of the US is obese. She is no different than much of our citizens. She neither wants help nor is asking for help. People should be allowed to live their lives as they want to without well meaning but misguided people trying to "help" probably by giving some sort of advice.

She is showing herself in public, has some fans who like her a lot so maybe she's not as pathetic as she seems. She's unhealthy obviously but is making the best of it. There are a lot of people with serious health problems on youtube.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Health problems or not, I believe it is generally a bad idea to reach out with advice to someone who didn't ask for advice, especially when the person doesn't seem to believe they have a problem in the first place.

I believe than any adult that doesn't have a severe cognitive impairment has a right to make any decisions regarding their own body, healthy or not. I understand the whole idea of being a bad example for young people. But I believe anyone old and independent enough to purchase and cook their own food without their parent's supervision is automatically old and independent enough to be able to evaluate things they see people do on youtube and to make their own decisions regarding what to put in their mouth. There is a chance there are 7-year-old's with enough pocket money to purchase 20 Happy Meals and parents neglectful enough to ignore their child eating those 20 Happy Meals in one day, but even if they do that after watching a mukbang, that isn't that youtuber's fault at all. The issue there would be bad parenting, and eating tons of junk food is far from the worst thing an unsupervised young kid with ample access to money and Internet as their only role model can do.

 

[RottenDeer]

Not really, no. If someone voices true concern in the comments or even in private, that's fine by me but really trying to policing someone's health without knowing them isn't my cup of tea.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Not really, no. If someone voices true concern in the comments or even in private, that's fine by me but really trying to policing someone's health without knowing them isn't my cup of tea.

Learning wisdom from this thread from some of these posts is beneficial. I tend to intercede uninvited way too much with other people's business vs minding my own business. Unlike my late mother, my sibling, my father, and I intercede uninvited into other's affairs way too often. I figured it's some defect in my gene pool.

The three of us come across with verbal interactions reflecting a position that we know best. It's frustrates me to be on the receiving end of this, and it likely feels the same way to others when I exhibit identical behavior.

It frustrates me when my sibling, who is two years older, feels with the added three percent additional life experience based on our respective ages that they know so much better about life than I, and therefore, wants to constantly give me unsolicited advice.

I will try and take some ideas here to heart and see if these can affect real change on my end.

 

[Leech]

I firmly believe that unless you have a medical or nursing degree that you shouldn't be giving unwarranted health advice. If someone asks you sure but otherwise buzz off WebMD.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I firmly believe that unless you have a medical or nursing degree that you shouldn't be giving unwarranted health advice. If someone asks you sure but otherwise buzz off WebMD.

I respect your point of view on this. Annectodally for myself, getting health ideas on line has been invaluable to me personally. I have been able to learn from others and have had tons more benefit from this insight vs anything from my half dozen or so medical specialists.

Perhaps, conceptually it is like my perception that I am obtaining more therapeutic advise here vs advice received from my therapist.

I understand and respect your point, and frankly, I perceive some have been adversely impacted by using "Dr. Google"