Is it true you become less concerned what other people think of you when you grow older?

[noname223]

I think this could sound like a was really young. I am roundabout in my mid-twenties. I often describe how obsessed I am about what other people think of me. I think it is kind of pathological and caused by extreme bullying as a teenager. It feels like I can't be fixed in this instance. It is very entrenched in my way of thinking. It can cause manic sympptoms or extreme feelings of shame. Honestly I doubt I will ever get rid of that. Though maybe it decreases a little bit when I am older.

I think many people in their 40s or 50s wrote me this. I am not sure whether I will reach this age in order to find it out. Do you want to share your experiences with it? Maybe this is a good question for older SS members? I can't really notice a difference to my time as a teenager concerning this issue. I am just the same (in this instance). Really insecure and the fear of failing is eating me alive.

 

[CTBgenuine]

YES . Thats not to say I don't care or don't feel insecure because I do, just less so and less inclined to people please

 

[Callie Arcale]

I overcame impostore syndrome as I got older. That was nice. It had become exhausting feeling like a fraud all the time no matter how well I performed.
There's a quote by Osho that I love: "There are two ways, and try to understand these are the only ways: one way is to go out and prove that you are somebody; the other way is to go in and realize you are nobody."
I guess age and chronic illness forced me to go in and see the nothingness.

I also became longsighted - literally overnight - after I turned 40. That was not nice. Osho doesn't say anything about being longsighted.

 

[Nolan96]

I disagree with this idea. I think it's just that people get so worn-down that they're used to people-pleasing by the time they're older, to the point where it feels natural.

Older people are on average also less financially vulnerable. Easy to not give a shit what people think of you when you're a boomer living on a pension. You still kissed your boss's ass your whole life to get there though.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

No! I couldn't give a monkeys backside what people thought/think of me from day one!!! And now l've turned 50 l care even less!

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

YES . Thats not to say I don't care or don't feel insecure because I do, just less so and less inclined to people please

^^ This, 100% this.

I am still insecure in many ways, but the older I get, the less I give a crap about what other people think of me. Also, the less I care about their little tiny day to day drama issues.

 

[Mocon33]

I think this could sound like a was really young. I am roundabout in my mid-twenties. I often describe how obsessed I am about what other people think of me. I think it is kind of pathological and caused by extreme bullying as a teenager. It feels like I can't be fixed in this instance. It is very entrenched in my way of thinking. It can cause manic sympptoms or extreme feelings of shame. Honestly I doubt I will ever get rid of that. Though maybe it decreases a little bit when I am older.

I think many people in their 40s or 50s wrote me this. I am not sure whether I will reach this age in order to find it out. Do you want to share your experiences with it? Maybe this is a good question for older SS members? I can't really notice a difference to my time as a teenager concerning this issue. I am just the same (in this instance). Really insecure and the fear of failing is eating me alive.

As you get older, especially over 60, nothing really matters all that much. There is no anxiety over success or failure because you have already done (or not done) that. If people don't like your personality, screw em, changing yourself to suit other people is no longer a priority.

 

[toseeyousmile]

I think not giving a shit will come with age but I'm turning 22 soon and what I realize is that, yeah realistically I care about appearances, status, etc. Like everybody else around my age, being faced with ctb, you'll realize what actually matters to you and for me appearances are arbitrary and I try to kill my own ego as much as I can because I think that's the best way for me to realize what I want to do, what matters to me.

 

[Hirokami]

I'm 26, so who knows? Though, I can say I was more confident in my teens and prepubescent years than now. I didn't really care about what people thought of me until society finally gave me a reason to.

 

[Istanbulite]

defo true. I'm now 29, don't give a flying one what people think of me. When I was younger I was freaking out about it.

Wisdom, hell yeah.

 

[Slimetae]

I mean I'm 20 I stopped caring awhile ago I just do me never really cared what other people thought of me

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

for me its gotten worse as i get older

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

LIFE...

 

[thankyouforthis]

I think this could sound like a was really young. I am roundabout in my mid-twenties. I often describe how obsessed I am about what other people think of me. I think it is kind of pathological and caused by extreme bullying as a teenager. It feels like I can't be fixed in this instance. It is very entrenched in my way of thinking. It can cause manic sympptoms or extreme feelings of shame. Honestly I doubt I will ever get rid of that. Though maybe it decreases a little bit when I am older.

I think many people in their 40s or 50s wrote me this. I am not sure whether I will reach this age in order to find it out. Do you want to share your experiences with it? Maybe this is a good question for older SS members? I can't really notice a difference to my time as a teenager concerning this issue. I am just the same (in this instance). Really insecure and the fear of failing is eating me alive.

Yes, you definitely do care less as you get older about what OTHERS think.
Here's the rub: In so doing, you may find yourself becoming your own biggest critic. I was always very self-critical, but that was tempered by concern over what others thought; so, for instance, if I was feeling bad about myself and received a compliment (not in high school-- I was bullied, like you-- but as an adult, later), it would actually make me feel better.
Now, sadly, I've reached a point at which I am SO self-critical that even praise from others has no effect. On the bright side, though, insults and judgments from others no longer have any impact on me whatsoever, because nothing anyone says about me could ever be as bad as the things I think about myself.
(Mid-30s, BTW)

 

[Asatsuyu]

I don't know about others, but I most definitely did! I used to be terrified to be noticed or even speak out loud in public, but I've realised Im actually a very fun person, so I'm not at all concerned with what others think anymore since I know I'm great

 

[Rd2nowhere]

I think it depends on the person's perspectives and their values. So many out there are still chasing youth through plastic surgery. There those whose identities are their social and financial status. There are people whose pride are the successes of their children.

As you age your values and perspectives change through your life experiences. You realize that what you held in high regards or relevant is no longer important to you. You change.

Personally my values and perspectives have changed. I no longer care to keep up with trends or really care what people think. I am just trying to keep my head above water.

 

[TheLastFemaphrodyke]

I think this could sound like a was really young. I am roundabout in my mid-twenties. I often describe how obsessed I am about what other people think of me. I think it is kind of pathological and caused by extreme bullying as a teenager. It feels like I can't be fixed in this instance. It is very entrenched in my way of thinking. It can cause manic sympptoms or extreme feelings of shame. Honestly I doubt I will ever get rid of that. Though maybe it decreases a little bit when I am older.

I think many people in their 40s or 50s wrote me this. I am not sure whether I will reach this age in order to find it out. Do you want to share your experiences with it? Maybe this is a good question for older SS members? I can't really notice a difference to my time as a teenager concerning this issue. I am just the same (in this instance). Really insecure and the fear of failing is eating me alive.

I am 59, I will let you know when these things get better for me.

 

[Lost Magic]

Well, hopefully I won't see 40 (which time wise isn't long for me). I don't give a shit about much what people say about me. That's probably because I won't be around much more to care. I think a large majority of people are fucking idiots anyway.

 

[nightnightnitrite]

I think so, I can't bring myself to care what other people think of anything I do. As long as I'm not hurting anybody and neither is anyone else than I can't find myself to care no matter how hard I try. As you get older, you are introduced more to "actual" problems instead of worrying about classmates and friends. There are still some things I wish I didn't care about, but most of my problems as a kid seem arbitrary compared to my problems as an adult.