Discussion Is it really so selfish to wish not to be here?

[L11tle_pr1ncess]

Many times when I want to express that idea, they usually tell me that I am selfish and that I should think about my family and my mother, that makes me feel like a monster for not being able to stop that feeling.

 

[CTBsteve]

I don't think so life sucks. It's full of suffering and lots of bad things, of course you're gonna want to get rid of that suffering. I just think some of us have a lot more going on in our heads than others can imagine so it makes the idea of non existence more comforting than this.

 

[Namelesa]

It wold probably be considered selfish but lots of things but that doesn't necessarily mean its bad. Its your life so you should have the right to be able to continue it or end it early. Also you can consider people who want you to stay alive to be selfish as well cus they would prefer you living in pain to them suffering your absence.

 

[TheHolySword]

Honestly, yes it's selfish. That doesn't mean it's wrong or bad, it doesn't make you a monster. But it's a choice for yourself that will inevitably negatively impact others, and that's something you have to accept. We all have choices to make, in the end you have to decide what's going to be best for you. It's a difficult choice to make, leaving people behind. It's selfish but sometimes we have to find our peace. They may never understand, but we're all just doing what we can.

 

[Surai]

We are not selfish but self sufficient to end ourselves better than those who would rather be a slave to life and kiss its feet will it steps on their backs

 

[Spazsticatednoodle]

Many times when I want to express that idea, they usually tell me that I am selfish and that I should think about my family and my mother, that makes me feel like a monster for not being able to stop that feeling.

I think it doesn't really matter if it's seen as selfish or not at the end of the day selfishness is just a human concept and doesn't have a confirmed state since it's viewed differently by every person so it has no meaning just like everything else in life anyway it's your decision if you want to ctb and if you decide that's what you want to do once you've finished it won't matter anymore but if you still want to know if your selfish or not what do you view selfishness as

 

[needthebus]

Honestly, yes it's selfish. That doesn't mean it's wrong or bad, it doesn't make you a monster. But it's a choice for yourself that will inevitably negatively impact others, and that's something you have to accept. We all have choices to make, in the end you have to decide what's going to be best for you. It's a difficult choice to make, leaving people behind. It's selfish but sometimes we have to find our peace. They may never understand, but we're all just doing what we can.

such truth in your words

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't think selfish is the right word for such feelings. However, it is quite sad to think that someone is suffering so terribly that they are considering suicide. I think this disturbs many people, and they simply do not know what to say.

The despair that drives people to do such things is horrible, but I do not consider it to be the fault of those afflicted by it.

 

[shrizoid]

I

Many times when I want to express that idea, they usually tell me that I am selfish and that I should think about my family and my mother, that makes me feel like a monster for not being able to stop that feeling.

it's selfish to force somebody to do something that they don't want to do and suffer doing because others would suffer too if they quit, I think it's stupid personally

 

[ebg]

Honestly, yes it's selfish. That doesn't mean it's wrong or bad, it doesn't make you a monster. But it's a choice for yourself that will inevitably negatively impact others, and that's something you have to accept. We all have choices to make, in the end you have to decide what's going to be best for you. It's a difficult choice to make, leaving people behind. It's selfish but sometimes we have to find our peace. They may never understand, but we're all just doing what we can.

I do think that it is something that would negatively impact others, but shouldn't decisions about our own life and death be our choice? We do not choose to be born. With how bleak life can be, with all its disillusions and such, I don't understand why more people don't believe in suicide or see it as a valid choice. It would be nice if more people thought about how most, if not all, our arguments against suicide stem pretty much from our autopilot survival instincts.

 

[Randy Savage]

I think it's pretty sad that some people think this way. Suicidal people are obviously hurting deeply and many are living with mental illness or disability. Calling the tragedy of a person's suicide "selfish" is sort of like saying it's selfish that blind people get to have their dog with them all the time.

I hear this suicide is selfish thing from people all the time and I honestly find it pretty ignorant. None of the people saying this would actually try to help a suicidal person, despite being incredibly invested in their choices

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

Even though some other people have said it already, it's not selfish to want to die when you have people you'll leave behind. Yes, it's a decision that affects them, but it's your life in the end. Forcing someone to stay here past their time even though they're completely miserable is.
Think about it this way, you have a opportunity to take a dream job somewhere, but doing so would move you across the world and make it hard to talk to your family. Your family doesn't want you take the job because of this. Are you selfish for wanting to live your dream, or is your family selfish for denying you that?

 

[hereornot]

Having the ability to come out on your own terms should be the first natural right of every person born.


Nobody asked to be born, and it's an option on the table for everyone.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

It's selfish by definition but everything that we do is selfish and, in this case, it's justified since our lives should belong to us only meaning that other people shouldn't have the right to force us to stay alive if we don't want to stay alive. Also, them forcing us to stay alive is also selfishness on their part because they don't want to be hurt at seeing somebody ctb. Additionally, the one thing that I don't see suicide preventionists consider is that death is inevitable meaning that grief is inevitable. You are going to die naturally anyway meaning that the grief associated with that is going to happen eventually anyway. All you are doing is bringing the grief earlier.

 

[Forever Sleep]

The feeling itself can't really be a selfish one. Surely, whether we like something or not is down to personal preference. Is it selfish not to like spicy food? No- it's a preference. We may not like spicy food because in the past, it's made us ill. Would it be selfish to refuse to eat a meal a friend cooked us because it was a spicy dish? It may not seem very courteous but- hopefully they'd understand if we explained it would make us ill. Sadly, people won't accept that excuse usually when it comes to life.

It's a fairly stupid claim though with regards to ideation itself I feel. People who are suicidal are surely suffering on some level. Who doesn't want to escape suffering? Why would you call the desire to be out of pain 'selfish'?

The problem with the act of suicide itself is that it can be deeply upsetting for others. So- that's the selfish part I think. To knowingly put them through that. Really though, they ought to realise that, preventing us from leaving- especially via guilt trips is making us suffer being alive. But, they won't accept that either- most likely.

 

[FuneralCry]

To not exist is all I've ever personally wished and hoped for, I'd never wish for something as cruel and futile as existence, to me simply just being conscious is so undesirable and I see so much cruelty in how there's no acceptance towards the wish to not exist. I just wish that wanting to not exist is accepted as a personal choice as I'd always prefer to painlessly cease existing than suffer for the sake of it in this existence I never would have chose that was imposed in the first place. I was forced into this existence of pointless suffering so I should be able to have the choice to painlessly free myself from it and never suffer ever again, I personally find it horrific how a human can exist for so long just to be tortured by old age, I'd never wish for any of that rather I just want all to finally be gone for me

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

No, but it is selfish to keep someone alive, because you want them to stay alive for you or whatever (when they are evidently suffering).

 

[CandleShade]

Quote; Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.
There is nothing left in the world that can soothe the pain. And I know that death is the only god that comes when you call.

 

[alivebutnotliving]

Many times when I want to express that idea, they usually tell me that I am selfish and that I should think about my family and my mother, that makes me feel like a monster for not being able to stop that feeling.

This topic always bothers me. Both sides are reasonable but It truly pains me seeing people being guilted about wanting to escape pain. Especially if they aren't making an effort to work with you and accommodate said pain.

 

[mattoman]

Many times when I want to express that idea, they usually tell me that I am selfish and that I should think about my family and my mother, that makes me feel like a monster for not being able to stop that feeling.

No it's not selfish. It's obvious people might be upset when you tell these feelings that you wouldn't want to be here. I kinda understand their side too, but no I don't think it's selfish.