I am not afraid of dying or what comes after, but rather I am afraid what will happen to the tiny creatures I leave behind that need me.
there was a time I was cooking dinner and my blood pressure tanked really hard. I have a tendency for a low blood pressure but this time it fell very hard very fast. I got dizzy, nauseous, sweating, heart racing, breathing accelerated, felt cold and shaking, and the world around me started getting kind of bright and fuzzy. I control fell to the ground so I wouldn't pass out standing. As I sat there and just stared up in the space not even processing anymore and the world started blacking away . Being in a non-standing position help to regulate my blood pressure and it slowly went back to a normal state, but in the process I wasn't afraid at all I was focused on how I felt and what was happening and I couldn't process the fact that my system was failing. I think the anticipation of death outside of the process is a lot scarier than the process itself. That experience showed me that the actual process really wouldn't be that bad, and that my brain was just getting me worked up for nothing.