is it possible to enjoy your last moments?

[bitofftoomuch]

I just worry that if I take SN or whatever the last half hour of my life will just be me reviewing all the reasons I CTB'd and fearing death. I'd like it to be more... I dunno, pleasant? Maybe it's possible to remember the few good moments in my life, though I worry it would trigger my SI.

...who am I kidding? I don't want to die. I don't want to be on this forum. I want my problems to go away and my life to get better; I keep crossing my fingers that ctbing would somehow be something I could find that hope in, but it's just nonsense, there's no secret passageway to happiness.

 

[UKscotty]

I think its a bad idea personally.

I know a lot of people want to go with happy thoughts, get drunk or high etc but this is extremely high risk of setting off our SI and cancel of the attempt.

We need to be in a desperate and final mindset to CTB.

 

[alltoomuch2]

I just worry that if I take SN or whatever the last half hour of my life will just be me reviewing all the reasons I CTB'd and fearing death. I'd like it to be more... I dunno, pleasant? Maybe it's possible to remember the few good moments in my life, though I worry it would trigger my SI.

...who am I kidding? I don't want to die. I don't want to be on this forum. I want my problems to go away and my life to get better; I keep crossing my fingers that ctbing would somehow be something I could find that hope in, but it's just nonsense, there's no secret passageway to happiness.

I get what you're saying. I was thinking exactly all this when I read your post.

 

[bitofftoomuch]

I think its a bad idea personally.

I know a lot of people want to go with happy thoughts, get drunk or high etc but this is extremely high risk of setting off our SI and cancel of the attempt.

We need to be in a desperate and final mindset to CTB.

I don't think I want to be in such a mindset. I just want relief. maybe suicide is not the answer for me after all. I mean if I'm just going to be panicked and then too dead to feel relief from dying, what's the fucking point lol. I just feel overwhelmed trying to find an option in the living world, and it's quite painful when I had one and fucking blew it so recently.

 

[Worndown]

It is likely death will occupy those last monents since you will be actively engaged in it.

 

[Ihoujin]

Wanna share your problems with us? What's bothering you?

 

[RoseGarden]

My last attempt was the most peace and happiness I've ever felt... Until I woke up. Then just regret that I survived.

 

[Whale_bones]

For me personally, I hope to be in an intentional and reflective state of mind, where I can remember past happy memories if they pop up, but know that isn't in the cards for my future, and that CTB is the right choice for me.

I plan to have some of my favorite music playing and a peaceful environment, it will be similar to people who choose euthanasia, except I can't have any loved ones with me or even be talking to them at the time.

I think it's a very individual thing though, I can understand how for some people, thinking about their life or past happy memories would only cause them stress and a surge of SI.

 

[virtualdreamplaza]

I don't think I want to be in such a mindset. I just want relief. maybe suicide is not the answer for me after all. I mean if I'm just going to be panicked and then too dead to feel relief from dying, what's the fucking point lol. I just feel overwhelmed trying to find an option in the living world, and it's quite painful when I had one and fucking blew it so recently.

Yeah I feel you, what I'm thinking of doing is probably like taking a week off before, and just try to chill as much as I can and try to be happy ig, knowing my end is soon to come