Is It Possible To Enjoy Life While You Wait to CTB?

[lizzywizzy09]

Is anyone able to take solace in activities while they count down the days? I hear stories about people being "happiest" when they've decided to ctb. I'm miserable, know happiness isn't in the cards for me. But I'd like to get some enjoyment out of my time, whether that be four months or a year. Any thoughts?

 

[Alex Fermentopathy]

Maybe trie to help others and expect that you would get it back at one of your reincarnations/rebirths.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

Maybe trie to help others and expect that you would get it back at one of your reincarnations/rebirths.

I don't even want a rebirth. If I could wake up at 18, I know exactly what I'd do.

 

[Alex Fermentopathy]

I don't even want a rebirth. If I could wake up at 18, I know exactly what I'd do.

It does not matter whether you want it or not. It just happens.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

It does not matter whether you want it or not. It just happens.

Perhaps. I'm an atheist and think when I'm gone, I'm gone. But if I do reincarnate I hope for a better second chance.

 

[divinemistress36]

Maybe trie to help others and expect that you would get it back at one of your reincarnations/rebirths.

That's a good way to look at it!

That's a good way to look at it!

I have a friend who died and came back and had a "life review" which seems to be common in NDEs and it went through his whole life and showed how he impacted other people's life like if he was nice or mean and how it effected them not as a punishment but for spiritual perspective

 

[Forveleth]

I don't feel "happier" per say, but I find I am more... content. Ironic as with persistent depressive disorder contentedness has eluded me most of my life. I'm now enjoying the quiet moments while I eat breakfast. I don't feel the need to rush and get things done. I don't worry about the future anymore. That has, ironically, made me slow down and enjoy life.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I believe it's possible. I had this one week while I was waiting to CTB where it was like all the pressure that had been built up was released, and I could finally breathe again. I lived in the moment for maybe the first time in my life, just doing things for no other reason than "because I felt like it."

I wonder if that's the source of this "happiness" some people feel while waiting to CTB: because they finally allow themselves to do what they want, even if it seems frivolous or useless or unproductive.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I believe it's possible. I had this one week while I was waiting to CTB where it was like all the pressure that had been built up was released, and I could finally breathe again. I lived in the moment for maybe the first time in my life, just doing things for no other reason than "because I felt like it."

I wonder if that's the source of this "happiness" some people feel while waiting to CTB: because they finally allow themselves to do what they want, even if it seems frivolous or useless or unproductive.

I think so. Knowing your suffering is coming to an end makes you feel free, perhaps.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

If anything, I'd probably enjoy life more knowing I'm imminently about to end it on my own terms with no setbacks.

 

[LaughingGoat]

Absolutely. I have a conditional date for ctb, basically one particular event that happens then I can ctb. It will likely be 20-30 years before that happens but I am relatively content in most areas of my life. I have my share of struggles with depression but also plenty of things I enjoy and do regularly.

 

[nixolab]

Of course. It doesn't mean that you have to stop living if you have a date for your CTB

 

[Forveleth]

I believe it's possible. I had this one week while I was waiting to CTB where it was like all the pressure that had been built up was released, and I could finally breathe again. I lived in the moment for maybe the first time in my life, just doing things for no other reason than "because I felt like it."

I wonder if that's the source of this "happiness" some people feel while waiting to CTB: because they finally allow themselves to do what they want, even if it seems frivolous or useless or unproductive.

I feel much the same. I once read a story from someone who was planning to ctb and began feeling like this. They realized that that was their key to happiness and ended up living instead. Wish I could somehow make this my permanent mindset.

 

[onbekend]

I think it's possible, I've heard that people who plan out their exact suicide date tend to feel happier in their final weeks knowing that their future is guaranteed to end in peace and at their own terms. Speaking from personal experience, I don't have an exact day planned but I do enjoy some parts of life and if it's true that you tend to be happier as your final days approach, I don't doubt I'll feel really good in the final hours.

 

[justpeachyyyy]

I had it solidified in my head for a couple months now and my plan is to enjoy my favorite foods and not worry about my savings so I'll be buying fun stuff here and there to have some sort of joy before going. Food has been one of the only things I've been enjoying lately so I've been getting all my favorites about once a week while I figure out when I want to do it.

 

[everythingoes]

I'm somewhere in the middle. A weight has certainly been lifted off my chest because I no longer have to worry about the future and I can just focus on the things I enjoy until the day of my CTB. But it's also excruciating having to wait because I'm still hurting in the meantime. I wish time would go faster.

 

[final_countdown12]

I think there are 4 conditions to achieve that:

1- reliable CTB methods in hands and all ready and tested
2- have enough money for fun
3- finish all pending things and affaires related to CTB (letters, close accounts, etc etc)
4- be in peace with your death