is it possible i have this??

[AintNoWayOut]

im sure most of you arent doctors but i wanna put this out there.

i always thought of ptsd as being something that happens only to people who went through "life-threatening" situations, like being shot at in war or in a car crash, where the person nearly died on the spot... but looking into it some more, and just breaking down the name, it sounds kinda like what im going through.

for me, the "event" wasnt a single incident really, it took place over a few months, but its led to me dealing with chronic pain every day that fucked my whole life up and has made me feel totally hopeless to the point of being (obviously) suicidal. as bad as the pain itself is, i also have to deal with my mind constantly, and i mean CONSTANTLY, thinking about the situation... thinking about what caused it, how i could've prevented it, if i should blame myself or others or the world, just replaying the same thoughts in my head nonstop to the point it consumes me. and if i see something that reminds me of my pain or how it came about, it triggers me to get caught in that cycle to the point where i cant focus and become really anxious, nauseous, frustrated, and/or weak... and sometimes i'll start crying and have mild breakdowns over it. its like a cloud that hovers over my head and keeps me in a depressive mood at almost all times, even when the pain isnt at its peak. just thinking about the few months leading to the pain, and then different moments over the past six years affected by it, it'll take over my mind and it can be triggered by the most subtle things. its torture that i cant escape.

so... idk what to think. prior to this, i was still a pretty depressed and anxious person, but didnt deal with anything like this mentally. i was generally able to keep it moving and didnt worry about past mistakes, but now all i can do is reflect and relive those moments and drive myself crazy over it. so on one hand, i think its maybe just the depression/anxiety talking, or possibly even something else like OCD... or that because i deal with the pain constantly, its like a constant reminder, and if it were to go away i could possibly "move on" and not be stuck in the past, making me think its more circumstantial. but on the other hand, my mental state has become so warped that its difficult for me to live in the present anymore as im always focused on my past actions and how they led to my body being permanently injured, ruining my quality of life for six years and counting, and i have a feeling that even if the pain miraculously went away, those thoughts would still haunt me to some degree since the pain robbed me of much of my youth. is it possible im dealing with some sort of ptsd, or just other problems?

 

[Frauw]

More information would probably help to be able to formulate a correct diagnosis, I'm no psych but my PTSD manifests panic/anxiety attacks, like I really need to escape the situation I'm in, but also sometimes I also just switch off and go catatonic completely.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

More information would probably help to be able to formulate a correct diagnosis, I'm no psych but my PTSD manifests panic/anxiety attacks, like I really need to escape the situation I'm in, but also sometimes I also just switch off and go catatonic completely.

ive fainted from anxiety before but dont think ive ever had a full on panic attack.. im such a reserved person my body usually fights at all costs not to break down completely even when im in really bad pain and screaming on the inside. i get strong chills and a strong desire to break down or die when my mind starts battling itself, but if im in public i prevent myself from losing all composure and just try to "game face" through it (even tho people can tell im stunned at times). theres a chance it doesnt fall under ptsd, although it seems i fit most of the criteria, and its just other issues culminating into the feelings i have, but i have zero motivation at this point to see a psychiatrist and get an official diagnosis. either way im fucking miserable and suicidal so it doesnt really matter, but curiosity still peaks.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

probly shouldnt have posted at 5 am lol

 

[lonelymountaingirl]

Perhaps look here

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

This may be more your deal.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

Perhaps look here

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

This may be more your deal.

altho i dont see it mentioning chronic pain it sounds like what im experiencing to a T. prolonged, inescapable physical discomfort thats turned my brain to mush. even just reading that put a hole in my stomach.

 

[Stick]

I'm not a psychologist, but you don't need to have every symptom in order to have a disorder. You can also have traits of a disorder and benifit from treatment without having the disorder itself. Instead of wondering if you have PTSD, it might work out better for you to think of yourself as experiencing symptoms that others don't, which was made aware to you after learning that people with PTSD experience the symptoms you suffer from.
Basically, if you can afford it might be worth seeing a therapist. Or, maybe finding some online recourses about dealing with PTSD symptoms.
What you are going through sounds really stressful, I hope you can find some relief.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

I'm not a psychologist, but you don't need to have every symptom in order to have a disorder. You can also have traits of a disorder and benifit from treatment without having the disorder itself. Instead of wondering if you have PTSD, it might work out better for you to think of yourself as experiencing symptoms that others don't, which was made aware to you after learning that people with PTSD experience the symptoms you suffer from.
Basically, if you can afford it might be worth seeing a therapist. Or, maybe finding some online recourses about dealing with PTSD symptoms.
What you are going through sounds really stressful, I hope you can find some relief.

i tried therapy for about six months but stopped because it wasnt doing much to improve my life, since it couldnt fix the main factor making me miserable which is the physical issues i have. as far as those go, i have one more thing i'd like to try before totally giving up and offing myself, but im not expecting results since every other "treatment" has failed me. unless i get rid of that problem, i cant even really begin the mental recovery sadly... every day, hell, every moment im effected by it and thrown into a mental cycle of regret, blame, frustration, etc from it. if the pain does get better, though, i think my mind is fucked from it to the point where i wouldnt be able to go back to living the life i used to... its completely altered my perspective of things. so ptsd or not, im mentally scarred.

and ty... i wish i could. this existence isnt one worth living.

 

[Stick]

i tried therapy for about six months but stopped because it wasnt doing much to improve my life, since it couldnt fix the main factor making me miserable which is the physical issues i have. as far as those go, i have one more thing i'd like to try before totally giving up and offing myself, but im not expecting results since every other "treatment" has failed me. unless i get rid of that problem, i cant even really begin the mental recovery sadly... every day, hell, every moment im effected by it and thrown into a mental cycle of regret, blame, frustration, etc from it. if the pain does get better, though, i think my mind is fucked from it to the point where i wouldnt be able to go back to living the life i used to... its completely altered my perspective of things. so ptsd or not, im mentally scarred.

and ty... i wish i could. this existence isnt one worth living.

Ack, I'm sorry. I wish I could do something to help. Also PTSD or no, your experience is valid

 

[specklenought]

You should definitely look up CPTSD, and also read the body keeps a score and the body says no, you can find PDFs of them on libgen. (also CPTSD surviving to thriving)

mental health diagnosis are really just a way to cluster symtopms together in order to treat them. If you have those symptoms i see no reason to not approach a therapist or psych (preferably with experience in DBT, CPTSD) and being like "I experience XYZ, it impacts my life like this.... What can you do to help/manage these symptoms?" The diagnosis is really not relevant, it can give people validation, and also a framework in which to manage the issue but it doesn't fix it.


Im sorry you're experiencing this, I hope you are able to get the support you need. if you ever need to chat im here.

 

[peacechoice]

I

im sure most of you arent doctors but i wanna put this out there.

i always thought of ptsd as being something that happens only to people who went through "life-threatening" situations, like being shot at in war or in a car crash, where the person nearly died on the spot... but looking into it some more, and just breaking down the name, it sounds kinda like what im going through.

for me, the "event" wasnt a single incident really, it took place over a few months, but its led to me dealing with chronic pain every day that fucked my whole life up and has made me feel totally hopeless to the point of being (obviously) suicidal. as bad as the pain itself is, i also have to deal with my mind constantly, and i mean CONSTANTLY, thinking about the situation... thinking about what caused it, how i could've prevented it, if i should blame myself or others or the world, just replaying the same thoughts in my head nonstop to the point it consumes me. and if i see something that reminds me of my pain or how it came about, it triggers me to get caught in that cycle to the point where i cant focus and become really anxious, nauseous, frustrated, and/or weak... and sometimes i'll start crying and have mild breakdowns over it. its like a cloud that hovers over my head and keeps me in a depressive mood at almost all times, even when the pain isnt at its peak. just thinking about the few months leading to the pain, and then different moments over the past six years affected by it, it'll take over my mind and it can be triggered by the most subtle things. its torture that i cant escape.

so... idk what to think. prior to this, i was still a pretty depressed and anxious person, but didnt deal with anything like this mentally. i was generally able to keep it moving and didnt worry about past mistakes, but now all i can do is reflect and relive those moments and drive myself crazy over it. so on one hand, i think its maybe just the depression/anxiety talking, or possibly even something else like OCD... or that because i deal with the pain constantly, its like a constant reminder, and if it were to go away i could possibly "move on" and not be stuck in the past, making me think its more circumstantial. but on the other hand, my mental state has become so warped that its difficult for me to live in the present anymore as im always focused on my past actions and how they led to my body being permanently injured, ruining my quality of life for six years and counting, and i have a feeling that even if the pain miraculously went away, those thoughts would still haunt me to some degree since the pain robbed me of much of my youth. is it possible im dealing with some sort of ptsd, or just other problems?

man, I can relate to this so much. I always think, man how could I have prevented this injury that causes me a lot of pain. Fuck. I hate my life now that I have to think about it.

 

[k75]

is it possible im dealing with some sort of ptsd,

I'm not a doctor, but I do have diagnosed PTSD. I think it definitely sounds like you might. You probably definitely have other things going on with it, like depression. There's a lot of overlap, and they can feed off each other. Depression can take away your ability to cope for sure.

Mine wasn't caused by any sort of traumatic abuse or anything like that. It was actually triggered by a couple of events. They just kind of stacked on each other. There's a medical aspect and I had to deal with a stalkerish situation for an extended period. I obsessively think about these things and play the "what if" game and analyze everything that happened all the time, searching for things I could have done differently. I have physical reminders, including chronic pain, that make sure it's always at the front of my thoughts. I can't seem to move on, even though I'm very safe now.

I have flashbacks, but they aren't like you always hear about, where there are triggers and people get them in the middle of daily life and stuff. For me, they're mostly dreams. Ultra vivid nightmares, but real memories... perfect memories reliving what happened. When it's bad, I'll wake up every hour or two in a complete panic, heart racing, unable to breathe. Sometimes it takes awhile to calm down and realize when and where I am, and that it was just memories.

I'm supposed to take Prazosin to help with the dreams. It helps, but I don't always bother.

Anyway, PTSD can look different for different people, but it sounds to me like you're describing a form of it. The best thing you can do is try to get diagnosed. (The reason i say that is I've found it helps convince insurance and stuff to help treat you if there's a formal diagnosis, plus you know for sure if you're on the right track to treat it or if other things might be more appropriate. It wouldn't help much to take cough syrup for cancer, you know?)
And find a therapist who specializes in that sort of thing. Ones who don't are next to useless, unfortunately. They can be perfectly fine therapists, but they don't know how to really treat it.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

I

man, I can relate to this so much. I always think, man how could I have prevented this injury that causes me a lot of pain. Fuck. I hate my life now that I have to think about it.

its the worst feeling ever... lemme just remind you tho, that it isnt your fault. we dont deserve to be in pain and have our lives stolen from us all due to one injury, mistake, whatever.. life is just cruel and unforgiving, and unfortunately we were put in these situations.

You should definitely look up CPTSD, and also read the body keeps a score and the body says no, you can find PDFs of them on libgen. (also CPTSD surviving to thriving)

mental health diagnosis are really just a way to cluster symtopms together in order to treat them. If you have those symptoms i see no reason to not approach a therapist or psych (preferably with experience in DBT, CPTSD) and being like "I experience XYZ, it impacts my life like this.... What can you do to help/manage these symptoms?" The diagnosis is really not relevant, it can give people validation, and also a framework in which to manage the issue but it doesn't fix it.


Im sorry you're experiencing this, I hope you are able to get the support you need. if you ever need to chat im here.

you're right, at the end of the day, it doesnt matter what name you put on it, point is im suffering. and its really difficult to motivate myself to see a therapist at this point cuz if feels pointless unless i fix the root of my problem, the chronic pain, which they cant do anything about. my last resort is stem cell therapy i think, and if that does nothing its 100% the rope in the coming months bc i cant deal with this anymore. thanks for the condolences though.

Anyway, PTSD can look different for different people, but it sounds to me like you're describing a form of it. The best thing you can do is try to get diagnosed. (The reason i say that is I've found it helps convince insurance and stuff to help treat you if there's a formal diagnosis, plus you know for sure if you're on the right track to treat it or if other things might be more appropriate. It wouldn't help much to take cough syrup for cancer, you know?)
And find a therapist who specializes in that sort of thing. Ones who don't are next to useless, unfortunately. They can be perfectly fine therapists, but they don't know how to really treat it.

sry to hear all that. as other people here said, it may be cptsd... but idk if its worth getting diagnosed at this point since i still have the chronic pain as a constant reminder. today was a really bad day in terms of my pain, i had sort of a breakdown earlier. my life is so shitty when you look at it.. my birthday is tomorrow and some family came over to have cake and the whole time my body was stiff and hurting, then i went to my room and threw a fit and cried. all i can think about is another year wasted and how it came to this. maybe a therapist could be good as an outlet, but worth the time and money at this point? idk, im beyond being saved unless the physical issues go away by some miracle.