If its okay to lie to my parents about my money, is it okay to lie about anything to my parents, since its my life? For example, if they are managing my studying schedule, and I tell them that I finished my chemistry textbook when I didn't, is that right?
MellowAvenue
š»
- Nov 5, 2020
- 658
Sometimes, I do think lying is OK. Really, the only instance I think it is morally wrong to is if you are lying knowing it will hurt someone else. As basic examples, telling someone you don't really want to hang out with that you have other plans that day to spare their feelings is fine, at least in a bubble, but telling someone they are being cheated on out of pure jealousy isn't fine. Obviously there can be surrounding circumstances that further muddy the waters, but in most circumstances I think knowledge and intent is what it ultimately comes down to.
Next time you consider lying, ask yourself if the potential harm your lie causes outweighs the potential benefit of it. To use your example, if you know you're going to do well on that chemistry test and you just want to try and have some additional time for other things, the lie is most likely fine. If you're struggling with the material and your time really would be better suited studying then are you willing to deal with the fall out that may come if you fail the test or don't do well enough to please your parents? That's ultimately your decision.
Next time you consider lying, ask yourself if the potential harm your lie causes outweighs the potential benefit of it. To use your example, if you know you're going to do well on that chemistry test and you just want to try and have some additional time for other things, the lie is most likely fine. If you're struggling with the material and your time really would be better suited studying then are you willing to deal with the fall out that may come if you fail the test or don't do well enough to please your parents? That's ultimately your decision.
bluedream
Member
- Sep 15, 2019
- 84
i lie to my parents consistently out of necessity
How old are you, OP?
It always urks me when i see comment about peoples parents in this kind of context. Perhaps it me making assumptions and I accept that things aren't always as they seem.
I think in the US parents seem to be involved in the intricacies of their kids much later than in most of the world. For example the UK kind of let their kids go between 16-18 whilst the US are involved upto the age of 21. Obviously this isn't black and white and there are variables but generally this appears to be the case. Legal drinking age and other relative laws appear to play a part in the subconscious understanding of how things should be. It's oddly subliminal and does indicate the power (whether intentional or not) that peers and government can have on social engineering.
As far as lying to your parents that's also not black and white. Generally I would say avoid lying as much as possible. It has a knock on impact of creating or widening a void between you, it creates a complex web you need to constantly manage and a kind of double life you end up maintaining that is often detremental to your relationships and mental wellbeing. If there are factors and influences prompting you to need to lie then they are best addressed openly but tactfully. Easier said than done but definitely worth the effort.
Once addressed you can then move on accordingly. If the outcome is a resolution then your problem is essentially solved or at least managed on an ongoing basis.
If there's no reasoning with them and a resolution is not attainable then lying may be the only option in magaging things. However under those circumstances you should make a plan to separate yourself from the negative situation as soon as viability allows. Then it's a case of lying as little as possible to keep things as amicable and manageable as possible until the goal of separation can be reached. It's also worth bringing up the fact that you feel you can't be honest for whatever reason. Especially if the reason is undue pressures feom the people/parents in question.
If your parents are good (but perhaps flawed) people and you want a good relationship with them it's imperitive to keep fomminications open and honest as possible or else it becomes an us and them situation and they slowly but surely become strangers and enforcers in your exponentially alienation resulting from the void of dishonesty between you.
With all that said, the generational gap inevitably creates a barrier to seeing entirely eye to eye in many (but not all) cases and to that end some minor white lies (perhaps by omission) can be used on a purely tactful basis. For example when it comes to sense of humour or the use of 'bad' language. Whwre it really counts I think its important to make effort at least, to meet one another on common ground. Though it's not always easy or even possible you can at least breath easy having tried. Parents are as responsible for this effort as their children. Adults or not.
Honestly is not just a trait that's beneficial to people other than ones self and there's a lot of self worth to be derived from honesty. In conjunction with other virtues of course. Telling every ugly person they're ugly for example, may well be honest but not exactly kind or worthwhile. Unless of course they are delusional or looking for an honest view. Even then some tact is prudent.
It always urks me when i see comment about peoples parents in this kind of context. Perhaps it me making assumptions and I accept that things aren't always as they seem.
I think in the US parents seem to be involved in the intricacies of their kids much later than in most of the world. For example the UK kind of let their kids go between 16-18 whilst the US are involved upto the age of 21. Obviously this isn't black and white and there are variables but generally this appears to be the case. Legal drinking age and other relative laws appear to play a part in the subconscious understanding of how things should be. It's oddly subliminal and does indicate the power (whether intentional or not) that peers and government can have on social engineering.
As far as lying to your parents that's also not black and white. Generally I would say avoid lying as much as possible. It has a knock on impact of creating or widening a void between you, it creates a complex web you need to constantly manage and a kind of double life you end up maintaining that is often detremental to your relationships and mental wellbeing. If there are factors and influences prompting you to need to lie then they are best addressed openly but tactfully. Easier said than done but definitely worth the effort.
Once addressed you can then move on accordingly. If the outcome is a resolution then your problem is essentially solved or at least managed on an ongoing basis.
If there's no reasoning with them and a resolution is not attainable then lying may be the only option in magaging things. However under those circumstances you should make a plan to separate yourself from the negative situation as soon as viability allows. Then it's a case of lying as little as possible to keep things as amicable and manageable as possible until the goal of separation can be reached. It's also worth bringing up the fact that you feel you can't be honest for whatever reason. Especially if the reason is undue pressures feom the people/parents in question.
If your parents are good (but perhaps flawed) people and you want a good relationship with them it's imperitive to keep fomminications open and honest as possible or else it becomes an us and them situation and they slowly but surely become strangers and enforcers in your exponentially alienation resulting from the void of dishonesty between you.
With all that said, the generational gap inevitably creates a barrier to seeing entirely eye to eye in many (but not all) cases and to that end some minor white lies (perhaps by omission) can be used on a purely tactful basis. For example when it comes to sense of humour or the use of 'bad' language. Whwre it really counts I think its important to make effort at least, to meet one another on common ground. Though it's not always easy or even possible you can at least breath easy having tried. Parents are as responsible for this effort as their children. Adults or not.
Honestly is not just a trait that's beneficial to people other than ones self and there's a lot of self worth to be derived from honesty. In conjunction with other virtues of course. Telling every ugly person they're ugly for example, may well be honest but not exactly kind or worthwhile. Unless of course they are delusional or looking for an honest view. Even then some tact is prudent.
Last edited:
Krieger
yeah
- Apr 16, 2022
- 120
Sure. I think even normal people lie to their parents. There are a lot of things we should have the right to keep to ourselves.
motel rooms
Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
- Apr 13, 2021
- 7,086
I hope you're not lying to us about not being a minor.
Cathy Ames
Cautionary Tale
- Mar 11, 2022
- 2,105
Yeah, I basically feel this way. I try very hard not to lie. It's a little disturbing (but not surprising, I guess?) that a lot of people are apparently saying, "Yeah, woohoo, lie your ass off, kid!" to someone who is 18 years old (and a minor in their location). Like, do we really need more lying liars continuously lying lies out their liar-holes in this modern day world? Have getting away with lying and cheating others replaced honesty and integrity as an admirable qualities? Maybe? I don't know.
Does apear that way. Alternative truths and fake it till you make it seem staples all of a sudden. People in the public (where most get their values from these days) used to at least attempt to appear honest but now it's more a case of everyone for themselves and bad (self grandiose) attitude is somehow aspirational in pop culture. Industry expects ruthlessness. Any signs of integrity or honesty and a reluctance to take what you can just because you can (get away with it) will get you fired and labelled as having bad work ethic. There was a time those attributes would gain support and respect. Now you're just weak and naive. Personally I'll live with those afflictions for my self integrity. Martyrdom? Maybe. Not interested in selling my soul and identity though. Its no wonder so many are depressed when growing up facing this shit alongside all the polished social media and peer pressures though. All these influencers that very openly change their looks for admiration as though they were natural features is just so ass backwards on morality that it fries my sensibility sensors lol. It really bothers me!
Where did OP indicate their age? Is it on their profile? My spidy senses have been tingling on a few members lately. Seems to be some underage activity lurking. It's concerning. More so than the edgelords courting the dark side for goth kudos.
Last edited:
Cathy Ames
Cautionary Tale
- Mar 11, 2022
- 2,105
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...out-how-much-money-i-have.88848/#post-1577937
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