Venting Is it ok to just Want to die?

[poa.alpina]

Is it? Is it alright that i just regret i was brought here by my parents? I wish they didn't so much...
I just destroy everything around me. I cannot maintain any relationships with people. Everyone i knew from any time doesn't want to talk to me, even people i, back then, considered friends. And i know my current "friends" will most likely do the same when. I don't know how to talk to people, how to behave, what to do. Again, huge thanks to my parents for making me so autistic i can barely function. Also, thanks for forgetting i was assaulted as a kid and insisting i need to find partner.
And yes, i'm also pretty much useless. I'm just bad at everything. Even if i like something, i'm bad at it anyways and struggle so much at improving. I'm always a beginner, even after years of work/practice.
I'm possibly about to start a new job. I'm about to switch from physical laborer to corporate. And you know what? It's gonna be a painful realization that i had many times before - i suck at everything. And it makes me a little bit excited - that might just be that little push i need to fix everything and leave. I have almost everything prepared, and while i was trying to get some advice here, i came up with a solution of just sending a delayed email to whichever employer "hey, i'm dead, i'm not coming in anymore lol".
I'm not expecting any answers. I know i'm not supposed to be talked to. But i just want to call out to the void, yell out my disappointment in everything. This kind of stuff just upsets or angers people i find close. And i'm enough of a burden to them.

One more thing. I hope there's nothing out there. Otherwise, i will be a really angry and hostile ghost. Imagine being forced to be conscious for a lifetime AND the eternity!

 

[Dolphin55]

Yeah, I think it's okay. It's okay.

I don't really have much else to say except I feel and relate to what you wrote here. From one disappointed void screamer to another lol

 

[Gonnerr]

Its ok to want to die ,its your right , you were brought here without your consent because your parents wanted to have child (selfish reason for most of them ). Look at all the parents saying ; MY child this , MY child that, MY child did this I AM so proud. We are their possession , selfish possession.

i dont do well socially unfortunately, people with good social skills , they dont give a fuck about us , they just ignored us like we dont exist , that was like that at my last job. Their were very quick at stopping talking to me when they realized that i was akward socially.

 

[yive]

yes, it's ok

 

[poa.alpina]

@Dolphin55 @Gonnerr @yive
Thank you guys/gals :)

It's just a constant downward spiral. I read a lot trying to refine my method for the best results or find another. At this point i don't even care what the reaction of my family will be.
I know the time will come some day, at this point the only thing stopping me is "no more music or tasty food" lol

 

[CentreMid]

Of course it's okay

 

[CellarBoy]

It's completely okay, humans have the right to die, and we're all humans, just different people. We can all take out own lives, as I said, we all have the right to die.

 

[Viranamari]

Of course, it's okay. It's your own life and it's completely your opinion to dispose of your life. Some people are just not meant to be in this cruel world and some people might not understand that. Your opinion and feelings are definitely valid. It seems that you don't have good parents. Unfortunately, no one can choose their parents. Just ignore them, there's no point talking to such people. I hope things get better for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, in fact it's more than okay. Deciding when to exit this world is a basic human right, nobody is obligated to stay here and suffer. At least to me it's always preferable to not exist, as peace can only exist in death and there are no disadvantages to being dead. Life is just a pointless and insignifcant cycle of suffering that serves no purpose and holds no benefit and anyway we are all destined to just die so to me it makes sense wanting to control when to exit.

I view it as being extreme cruelty to force life to exist in this uncertain and unpredictable world with unlimited potential for torture, the non existent should just be left in peace, they don't deserve the fate of being born in this world.