Story Is it ok to choose the path because of a breakup?

[eggwithoutbacon]

As the title says.
It has been 6 months since it happened, and I've attempted at least 3 times, twice trying to od and one time hanging from sitting.
Involuntary admission to the hospital, being jailed at my home by friends and family...
All this still breaks my heart as I write this, because I still love some people dearly, and because even these people cannot understand the pain and despair I'm in.
Everyone tells me I'm silly for considering it just because of a breakup, but the depth, length and dependence I had in it was never fully understood by anyone.

No one helped me.. until I found this forum. I can finally ditch my ways of doing it learned from TV shows and do things that can actually work.

If there is still one thing that makes me sad about doing it, is that I wonder, is it ok to do it because of a heartbreak? People must have done this before, and It's ok if I do it too, right?

 

[Namelesa]

Other people have ctbed cus of a break up. It isn't silly at all. I myself have been suicidal since my first relationship break up which was 3 years ago now and have attempted suicide twice specifically cus of that. That event for me broke me and I haven't really gotten better since as now I depend on other people for my main source of happiness as everything else feels empty to me now. But now going into new relationships is anxiety inducing due to my fear of abandonment and worrying I will do something wrong or me being too much of an emotional burden. While for me there definitely is other things effecting me and probably worsen the effect this had, I mostly suicidal cus of what happened then. Relationships for some can be so important to them so losing it can make them feel like they lost everything. Different people can react to same kind of event differently. That feeling you have is totally valid. Maybe you can get better over time or with other mental health help but for some they have been unable to get better that way so its totally understand to want to ctb cus of it.

 

[tyrcap]

All I'm going to say is: yep

It just means you must have been very connected, emphatic, and attached. Sadly these traits are under appreciated or demonized sometimes.

 

[darksouls]

welcome to sasu
I am very sorry you have to go through all this
wish you the best

 

[Dejected 55]

Everyone has their own, and often unique, reasons. Some people have common reasons or reasons that overlap. For me it is a combination of never having been in a relationship and finally giving up on that years ago finding a balance of mediocrity that was allowing me to plod through each repetitive day without making myself more depressed at least. But then, a couple of years ago I met a woman I couldn't have imagined meeting. She isn't perfect, but she is perfect for me. Everything I could ever have dreamed about and more... and a year ago I told her I liked her and tried to have a date or a conversation or a walk or something... and she just started ignoring me. I lost my job and my will to live over having finally met the woman I always wanted to meet and somehow I wasn't enough. Somehow I couldn't make it work. So I now know for certain the woman for me does exist and she lives nearby and I'll never see or talk to her ever again... and that is just too much for me.

So I'm doing it over losing someone I never had... and never having anyone. Many have argued to me that is "stupider" than doing it over breaking up with someone, since I never had a woman to have lost her.

But I'm still hoping I can go through with it in a couple of months, because I know I'm never going to be happy again... and worse, I know I can't go back to merely surviving day-to-day anymore. Because I got a glimpse of what I could have been in a relationship I could have had... and surviving is worse than a death sentence for me now. I want out.

 

[usernamesarehard]

Personally, it's part of the reason I'm considering ctb, so my opinion is definitely biased. But, yeah, I think it's ok to want to ctb because of a break up. A lot of people are normal and able to date freely or have so many options that they can choose to not date. I lost the only man I've ever been with and while I'm slowly getting over him and wanting/ trying to find someone else who will hopefully stay with me, the idea that I may never find someone else is one that wears on my mind everyday. I'm giving myself until 28. I'm planning on working on my social anxiety, so I plan on going out to meet ups and trying to talk to people and make new friends. But, yeah, if I don't get anyone else by 28 I'm forcing myself to ctb. If I do manage to get one or two boyfriends before then, then I'll look at my life and consider whether that's something I really WANT to do. If I don't give myself a time limit I could end up living until I die of natural causes and that's too many years in agony.

Good luck man, heart break fucking sucks. The only reason I haven't ctb yet is because, while I did love him, he wasn't my everything/ only reason to keep going.