Is it normal …

[byebyeblondie]

To realise that you've never been truly happy in your life? I look back at pictures and think how I wish I could go back in time, only to think harder and realise I wasn't happy then either.

I'm constantly longing to go back in time but I know I was still sad and wanting to escape even then. I have never been truly happy. I've had really shit things happen to me but I've also had some great things happen to me. I feel like I should be grateful for what I have but it seems everywhere I go, the bad stuff always follows and even if things seem to be going well I sit waiting for something bad to happen as it always does.

I long to run away and die. I am envious of those who have succeeded, when I have tried twice and failed twice. Then I feel guilty for feeling envious. I just feel like I belong no where and with no one. I feel like all the people around me are better off without me. My ups and downs drive me insane. My mood swings are just tiring. My nightmares haunt me and my anxiety takes over at times.

Just needed to get that off my chest :( I have no one to talk to about how I feel.

 

[jenben114]

It's sad we are on here but you've given me options I didn't have before which has given me hope
I can do it and end this hell

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I think it is normal, because our perception/definition of what happiness is changes as time passes.
I can remember being happy with doing absolutely nothing when I was younger but now it's just..heavy? i guess.

 

[the old man]

Lots of folk on here that will listen and understand your frustration and anxiety without judgement or criticism please feel free to vent or talk openly about your feelings your certainly not alone in the way you feel, you'll always have somebody to talk to.