Is it normal to worry about my body after?

[Jon Arbuckle]

basically I've "passed" the final hurdle and am strongly considering ctb via a gun now. I've been seeing a lot of people say a shotgun is the best since it has the highest chance of success, but I really want to use either a handgun or revolver, firstly because theyre cheaper, second because ive seen shotgun suicides and the aftermaths are always so much more gory and…intense to witness than with handguns or revolvers. Ideally I wouldn't want my family discovering my body but I know it's most likely going to happen. I already know this is going to hurt my family really bad, I don't want to add the fact that my face is completely mangled beyond recognition on top of that. is this a normal thing to worry about?

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I watched videos of people shooting themselves in the mouth in the back of the head at gun ranges with 9 mm. It wasn't a mangled face that was left behind. The faces and most of their head besides the exit hole in the back were normal looking, normal for being a dead face i guess. You might want to watch some videos as I had to to understand what I would be leaving behind. The faces were intact for those that through the mouth. People that did it to the side of the head, which is a bad idea, looked horrific sometimes.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

to answer your title, it's very very normal to think about this, and also shows compassion for others. Unfortunately, any kind of CTB via gun is gonna leave a mess of some kind and hypothetically wouldn't you want to go with something that has the highest rate of success? Re shotgun. I've seen them too re images and videos and I know exactly what you mean. But would it be better or worse if you used something with less of a success rate and survived with a seriously fucked up body and brain damage, IN THEORY? But on the other hand, trust me when I say I completely get why you wouldn't want THAT LEVEL of mess for those around you. This is not meant to change your mind and I'm sure you've seen the same stats I have re firearms. Just offering a perspective. I truly do wish you the best in whatever you choose. PMs open if you wanna chat<3

 

[the_last_race]

Don't worry, as soon as your brain stops functioning - the whole universe ceases to exist for all you know. There will be no body to be worried about

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I imagine so, it's understandable, personally I wish for a death like never waking again with no suffering involved.

 

[ADBoy777]

It is very understandable
Caring about your family is nice

I wanna do it outside in lonely place so someone else will find me and my family won't have to see me like that

 

[OverIt1976]

I worry about that. It's probably common for people to worry about it. One of the things I worry about is having my dog in the apartment with me after I do it. I don't want her to suffer and nuzzle me and me not respond. Weird, I know. I do have a plan tho.

1. Buy my supplies.
2. Wipe my phone and computer.
3. Put all of my notes and videos into one single folder on the desktop
4. Make a list of my essential login information
5. Set up a time-delayed email to the local police department stating what I've done. I don't want my parents finding me. I wont inflict that kind of pain above the pain they will be feeling already.
6. Leave food and water for Annie.
7. Take a lot of sleeping pills.
8. Debate if I want to keep the bedroom door open or closed. If I keep it closed, she'll bug out and bark like mad.
9. Take a last sup of Dr. Pepper.
10. Take a final shot of Jack (or three).
11. Say goodbye to Annie.
12. Grab my earbuds and put on my Erasure playlist
13. Tighten the ratchet.

I do not know if I want to be well dressed, or say fuck it and wear the clothes I've been wearing for the last two days. Do I clean the apartment? Should I even care? The only people that will see the scene will be public safety officials. Should I lay clothes out that I want to be buried in? I'm more than likely going to just do what I feel I need to do.

 

[Epikur]

I have two thoughts: Why don´t you just do it elsewhere whare you would definitely not be found by friends& family? Or even in the woods, where you will not be found at all? The other thought: If I had acces to a gun, I would prefer shooting in my heart. Less of a mess. No head injuries that are psychologically worse than on your body. The integrity of face/head is important for those left behind.

 

[Soupster]

I have two thoughts: Why don´t you just do it elsewhere whare you would definitely not be found by friends& family? Or even in the woods, where you will not be found at all? The other thought: If I had acces to a gun, I would prefer shooting in my heart. Less of a mess. No head injuries that are psychologically worse than on your body. The integrity of face/head is important for those left behind.

Odds are you will eventually be found. Certainly, there are bodies that are never found but that is becoming more and more rare. Also, many do not have access to the woods where they live, or are not physically capable of going off trail far enough to be truly alone. When you are found, your friends and family will see what's left over. It might be the immediate aftermath or the long term aftermath after nature has had its way with you. It's likely going to be hard on them either way.

As to shooting the heart - no judgement, but I couldn't do it. The time to death can be much longer than to the brain (though even to the brain is no guarantee). Slowly bleeding out to save face, pun intended, is not for me.

To the original question - I care inasmuch as it will impact the people who find me and my friends and family. To be honest it's what I find most attractive about SN. Blue discoloration can easily be masked with makeup for the sake of those who might care to view my body to come to peace with my passing. For myself, I couldn't give a damn. After I die it's just a meat suit.