Is it immoral to kill yourself in a relationship?

[spectraltease]

A general question, is it immoral?

 

[Roseate]

No, it isn't. Honestly it's a bit fucked if you knew you were going to kill yourself then got into a relationship but if you didn't have a set time or anything then it's just a sad circumstance. You shouldn't force yourself to be around for a relationship that may not even last. Trust me that would've probably hurt more.

 

[Malaria]

I question this everyday... I'm in a relationship right now, and part of me wants to kill myself and part of me wants to stay alive so I don't cause him pain...

 

[spectraltease]

No, it isn't. Honestly it's a bit fucked if you knew you were going to kill yourself then got into a relationship but if you didn't have a set time or anything then it's just a sad circumstance. You shouldn't force yourself to be around for a relationship that may not even last. Trust me that would've probably hurt more.

That makes no big difference. At the end you're dead.

 

[R_N]

As immoral as if there is anyone you know who will miss you.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I've been married for seven years. I think about this every day. I don't want to be in pain, but the thought of leaving my husband completely alone and traumatized makes me sick. It's a big part of the reason I've been on this site for so long.

 

[heysunshine]

I question this everyday... I'm in a relationship right now, and part of me wants to kill myself and part of me wants to stay alive so I don't cause him pain...

this is my situation. the guilt and sadness I feel imagining my husband finding me/losing me is (i think) the only thing keeping me here. I can't stand the thought of hurting him so deeply, even though I feel so much pain every day.

 

[spectraltease]

I question this everyday... I'm in a relationship right now, and part of me wants to kill myself and part of me wants to stay alive so I don't cause him pain...

Me too. I think it's immoral. When I think of the love, time and attention that this person has given me. I can't even think about killing myself. Leave behind the person who has always supported me. I think its cruel and I couldn't die in peace. (My opinion)

this is my situation. the guilt and sadness I feel imagining my husband finding me/losing me is (i think) the only thing keeping me here. I can't stand the thought of hurting him so deeply, even though I feel so much pain every day.

Same thoughts

 

[Roseate]

That makes no big difference. At the end you're dead.

It does actually. When you live for someone and they hurt you, it changed everything. No offense but for someone to Jill themselves over a relationship it's kinda sad and kinda frowned upon (kinda ridiculous and gives off attention vibes) and it takes away from the actual reason. So it is better to not prolong the torture over some stupid relationship that has a 50 percent or higher chance of not making it cuz most relationships end in pain anyways.

 

[Ww42]

A general question, is it immoral?

Depends on your values. Immorality is subjective to each person. For me, its not because youre suffering, so much that you wanna die. Im currently in a relationship and planning on ending it because in my eyes, she will be so better off when im gone, not dragging her down

 

[JordanF]

I don't think it's any more immoral than killing yourself while you have someone else in your life who cares deeply for you.

Ultimately, it is your own decision. Browsing r/SuicideBereavement is one of the things that makes me a bit more hesitant on killing myself. However, as I get older, I start to think more selfishly and I get more distant from my parents whom I was afraid of traumatizing.

 

[RemainingDubious]

A general question, is it immoral?

i personally wouldn't have been able to do it. i'd often think they'd be better off without me though.

i personally think a better question would be to ask yourself how would you feel if a partner killed themself while in a relationship with you?

Then maybe ask yourself whose feelings matter most, yours or theirs?

If it's your, maybe break up with them

 

[Forever Sleep]

As immoral as if there is anyone you know who will miss you.

Not sure. I think it depends on whether you knew you were suicidal and you knew suicide was likely when you formed these relationships.

Plus, some relationships are unavoidable- you can't help but have a family that might well miss you if you CTB. Your parents very likely put you through school where you naturally made friendships. Is it immoral to leave them with grief? It's very unfortunate I would say but, maybe not immoral. None of us chose to come here and be loved by these people.

By the same token- is it immoral to have children? One or other of you is going to die first. Probability favours the parent. So, they bring us here knowing we will likely have to mourn their death one day. Is that utterly moral? I doubt they thought about it very much.

It's such a tricky one though. Should people who are suicidal have no friends and, push away their families? That will likely make them even more suicidal! What if they toy around with the idea of giving life a shot? They'll be actively encouraged to build up a support network then. Would it then be immoral to leave them? Not exactly- to my mind. They made those friendships/ relationships with good intentions before it all turned to shit again. But- that's why I hope I wouldn't fall for that one! I think it would just trap me here.

Personally speaking- this is what I would call immoral: Knowing full well you are suicidal and very likely to act on it, you go out looking for friends and relationships to support you in the time you have left here but, they don't realise it. Is it immoral to tell someone you can't wait to spend the rest of your lives together so you can sleep with them and dump them the next day? Yes- that's leading them on with false pretences and mucking about with their feelings. I'd say picking up friends and relationships to support you, knowing you're very likely to leave them isn't exactly fair!

If though, you happen to meet someone, get chatting and you really get on and it looks like the beginnings of a close friendship or relationship- that's almost unavoidable. We can't just go through life ignoring people. Still- if CTB is imminently possible, I think it's only fair for them to know. Then, it's up to them if they want to stay- knowing full well what might happen.

That's my stance but, it's complicated. An old friend of mine has gotten back in touch- his choice. He texts fairly often though. I don't feel like I can just ghost him but- it's complicated. It's more of a blessing that most other friends and family have lost interest and, we've naturally drifted apart.

 

[R_N]

Not sure. I think it depends on whether you knew you were suicidal and you knew suicide was likely when you formed these relationships.

Plus, some relationships are unavoidable- you can't help but have a family that might well miss you if you CTB. Your parents very likely put you through school where you naturally made friendships. Is it immoral to leave them with grief? It's very unfortunate I would say but, maybe not immoral. None of us chose to come here and be loved by these people.

By the same token- is it immoral to have children? One or other of you is going to die first. Probability favours the parent. So, they bring us here knowing we will likely have to mourn their death one day. Is that utterly moral? I doubt they thought about it very much.

It's such a tricky one though. Should people who are suicidal have no friends and, push away their families? That will likely make them even more suicidal! What if they toy around with the idea of giving life a shot? They'll be actively encouraged to build up a support network then. Would it then be immoral to leave them? Not exactly- to my mind. They made those friendships/ relationships with good intentions before it all turned to shit again. But- that's why I hope I wouldn't fall for that one! I think it would just trap me here.

Personally speaking- this is what I would call immoral: Knowing full well you are suicidal and very likely to act on it, you go out looking for friends and relationships to support you in the time you have left here but, they don't realise it. Is it immoral to tell someone you can't wait to spend the rest of your lives together so you can sleep with them and dump them the next day? Yes- that's leading them on with false pretences and mucking about with their feelings. I'd say picking up friends and relationships to support you, knowing you're very likely to leave them isn't exactly fair!

If though, you happen to meet someone, get chatting and you really get on and it looks like the beginnings of a close friendship or relationship- that's almost unavoidable. We can't just go through life ignoring people. Still- if CTB is imminently possible, I think it's only fair for them to know. Then, it's up to them if they want to stay- knowing full well what might happen.

That's my stance but, it's complicated. An old friend of mine has gotten back in touch- his choice. He texts fairly often though. I don't feel like I can just ghost him but- it's complicated. It's more of a blessing that most other friends and family have lost interest and, we've naturally drifted apart.

Maybe you misunderstood me a bit. I see morality as a human concept. While I also practice it to a degree, in this scenario I don't think it is immoral or wrong to do it. I don't even think It is wrong to form relationship while suicidal.

It can't be helped. Things happen. Even our parents making us happened by them just acting like human beings.

People shouldn't bear too much guilt at least not when it comes to bonds they make along the way.

I felt guilty for not ctbing before sisters kids got attached to me but I don't blame myself anymore nor will whatever happens down the line.

Existing is hard enough. Last we need is giving ourselves more burdens and guilt. Attachments are bound to break and most humans get attached to beings/things during our lives. It is not on us to blame ourselves for being what we are.

If creator exists he is the one responsible.

 

[mtoro998]

I would have killed myself a year ago if I wasnt with my wife. Now that im going through a divorce suicide is on the table again. Unless your in a very abusive relationship id say that its never ok to do this.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

well based on how immoral is currently defined then yes, but not just because you're in a relationship.

 

[Gossamer]

This is the most difficult ; I was very hopeful and loving when my boyfriend and I started dating. I still adore him, and the guilt is wrecking me. Despite everything, the horror of knowing I will mangle him, whether with my burden of an illness or with my departure, is making it worse. I feel like a monster, unfit for redemption after having ruined someone's life with my actions, and having squandered all my chances of getting better. There is no way this will end well. Morality? I don't really know, because it feels like a moral duty to preserve him from myself and the slow decay, but there's also a lingering feeling of evil if I catch the bus. It's a lose-lose situation.

 

[BlessedBeTheFlame]

If I was in a relationship, it would be immoral not to kill myself. People like me should never enter relationships. If I was in one, I would just end up hurting my partner. Fuck, even having them be in a relationship with me is true hurt for them. I'm such a fucking disgusting subhuman. I just want to kill myself for making the world worse.

 

[kms2nite]

A general question, is it immoral?

I have a girlfriend
And though it's upsetting I don't think it's selfish or immoral

 

[Linda]

A general answer: It all depends. You will have to consider your own circumstances carefully and those of your partner. I would probably discuss it with my partner first, but that won't be a reasonable option for everyone.

 

[notwavinbutdrowning]

It is not immoral in the slightest. Quite the opposite. Living for someone else is awlful and destroys your self esteem and worth.

 

[dragonofenvy]

Yes, because you are hurting the other person. No, because suffering immensely just so others don't is in itself immoral... or is it? There are plenty of examples of people suffering for the sake of others for good reasons.

So in my mind, yes and no. The question is: Where are your values? Morality is often subjective to all people. Where are you going to take yours? Is the morality of a situation as important as we think it is?

 

[Little_Suzy]

It depends on the conditions under which you commit suicide.

It is preferable to leave a substantial estate with life insurance so that your partner can fully recuperate without fear of financial ruin.

This is the proper way to handle both natural death and suicide.

If you decide to commit suicide, make sure you prepay for your burial expenses.

If you ctb while your partner is already struggling and your death adds to their burden, then it is immoral.

 

[AnonymousL]

I question this everyday... I'm in a relationship right now, and part of me wants to kill myself and part of me wants to stay alive so I don't cause him pain...

That's exactly me rn .. I'm gonna break him. He doesn't deserve this