is it even possible to have a life worth living with bpd?

[iwantdeath6969]

there is no cure at the end of this. the absolute best life i could hope for is just surrounded by doctors and medications and therapy programs and hospitals and i just don't fucking want any of that. the other option is just staying untreated and continuing to lose more and more control of myself and my life. it doesn't really seem like there is anything else. i don't think that a life carefully managing illness is much of a life at all. the thought of just spending all my time and energy trying to rewire my brain and unnaturally try to change my thoughts and feelings, with absolutely no end to this as you never actually get better. you still feel everything the same way but learn how to pretend you don't.

what's the point of that? i don't see any reason to not ctb. there is no actual life that i can wait for. there's no end to the suffering, it's either 60 more years of this or i end it now. why would i ever choose to not ctb? there is no recovery that i can hope for. i don't even know if i would want it anymore if there was. is there anyone that's figured out an end to the hell of living with bpd or do you just go between "carefully managed but still barely stable" and "completely fucking out of control in every way" for the rest of your natural life?

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

I have some pretty radical views on bpd and mental health treatment as a whole so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think people labeled as having bpd are really being done a dis-service by mental health professionals. If you compare the symptoms of hysteria in the DSM 2 to the symptoms of BPD in the DSM 5 they're nearly identical. Hysteria being infamously used to discredit survivors of abuse who show negative reactions to it.

People diagnosed with bpd are often made to feel hopeless as all this medication and therapy don't seem to get them very far and are often even looked down on by professionals as "unruly" or "undesirable" patients and clients. I was diagnosed myself when I was younger and I felt similarly to you. There was no point in living if I'm going to just destroy my own relationships and struggle and ache to force myself to act like a normal person.

I was losing hope in being able to stabilize myself until I talked to another therapist who suggested we just change the diagnosis to C-PTSD instead of bpd. Most if not all people diagnosed with bpd can also easily qualify for a PTSD diagnosis as trauma are key factors to both. It helped me reframe the thought of everything being my fault, and me being this hopeless deranged person doomed to ruin my life and hurt those around me. I turned those thoughts into understanding how the awful things I've went through in life and the awful way our society runs and treats me and people like me, shaped me for the worse, but that it didn't make me someone with a disordered personality, it made me someone who was hurt and was responding in a very human way to that unimaginable pain.

You've been convinced by professionals you are a problematic and treatment-resistant person, but I advise you to question what they are telling you. Not every therapist or psychiatrist cares or knows what they are doing, and if you've ever been to an inpatient mental hospital you'll know the lack of empathy some professionals can have firsthand.

I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but maybe the first step to putting a dent in the things that are hurting you is changing the way you tackle and view your issues.
I recommend this video by an ex-therapist who goes into more detail than I can about his issues with bpd as a diagnosis.

 

[iwantdeath6969]

I have some pretty radical views on bpd and mental health treatment as a whole so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think people labeled as having bpd are really being done a dis-service by mental health professionals. If you compare the symptoms of hysteria in the DSM 2 to the symptoms of BPD in the DSM 5 they're nearly identical. Hysteria being infamously used to discredit survivors of abuse who show negative reactions to it.

People diagnosed with bpd are often made to feel hopeless as all this medication and therapy don't seem to get them very far and are often even looked down on by professionals as "unruly" or "undesirable" patients and clients. I was diagnosed myself when I was younger and I felt similarly to you. There was no point in living if I'm going to just destroy my own relationships and struggle and ache to force myself to act like a normal person.

I was losing hope in being able to stabilize myself until I talked to another therapist who suggested we just change the diagnosis to C-PTSD instead of bpd. Most if not all people diagnosed with bpd can also easily qualify for a PTSD diagnosis as trauma are key factors to both. It helped me reframe the thought of everything being my fault, and me being this hopeless deranged person doomed to ruin my life and hurt those around me. I turned those thoughts into understanding how the awful things I've went through in life and the awful way our society runs and treats me and people like me, shaped me for the worse, but that it didn't make me someone with a disordered personality, it made me someone who was hurt and was responding in a very human way to that unimaginable pain.

You've been convinced by professionals you are a problematic and treatment-resistant person, but I advise you to question what they are telling you. Not every therapist or psychiatrist cares or knows what they are doing, and if you've ever been to an inpatient mental hospital you'll know the lack of empathy some professionals can have firsthand.

I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but maybe the first step to putting a dent in the things that are hurting you is changing the way you tackle and view your issues.
I recommend this video by an ex-therapist who goes into more detail than I can about his issues with bpd as a diagnosis.

bpd is definitely a difficult diagnosis to get. this is an interesting perspective, i didn't develop bpd from trauma though, i got it genetically, but that definitely makes sense for people who have developed it that way.

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

bpd is definitely a difficult diagnosis to get. this is an interesting perspective, i didn't develop bpd from trauma though, i got it genetically, but that definitely makes sense for people who have developed it that way.

It's possible you developed this genetically, I don't know your life's story. But if there's a history of bpd diagnosis in the family which would involve unstable relationships and treatment of likely you or others near you, I wouldn't count trauma as a source out immediately. I assumed all the traumatic awful things that happened in my family were normal until I started speaking out about them and learning how uniquely awful they were. Things like neglect and emotional abuse or spanking that many deem "just tough parenting" or "don't be a baby about it" can do numbers on one's mental health.

The world we live in can be cruel in so many ways. Beyond the stereotypical veteran of war trauma, sexual assault, and domestic abuse. In a world as brutal and tough as ours, I don't think a "disordered personality" is really a fair thing to classify regardless of how it came about, as we live in a disordered world that we must cope with.

Any mental health treatment that communicates "you are disordered and the world is normal, so success means integrating into those norms" has as its goal social control, not healing.

 

[Ambivalent1]

A life without others would control the Favorite person problem.

 

[Deleted member 66407]

I don't know much about bpd, but I've heard by different friends that it's highly curable. One of them linked me this video about it, maybe you have already seen it, but just in case it can help you

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm Bipolar type 1.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my mid thirties.
I always knew there was something wrong with me, but could never figure out what it was until I was diagnosed.
Bpd ruined a lot of good things in my life up until then, and even now.
I personally don't think it is possible to live a fulfilling life with bpd.
Just my own personal opinion.

 

[iwantdeath6969]

It's possible you developed this genetically, I don't know your life's story. But if there's a history of bpd diagnosis in the family which would involve unstable relationships and treatment of likely you or others near you, I wouldn't count trauma as a source out immediately. I assumed all the traumatic awful things that happened in my family were normal until I started speaking out about them and learning how uniquely awful they were. Things like neglect and emotional abuse or spanking that many deem "just tough parenting" or "don't be a baby about it" can do numbers on one's mental health.

The world we live in can be cruel in so many ways. Beyond the stereotypical veteran of war trauma, sexual assault, and domestic abuse. In a world as brutal and tough as ours, I don't think a "disordered personality" is really a fair thing to classify regardless of how it came about, as we live in a disordered world that we must cope with.

Any mental health treatment that communicates "you are disordered and the world is normal, so success means integrating into those norms" has as its goal social control, not healing.

that's true i guess.. there were definitely some things i grew up with that others didn't seem to i guess.

i definitely agree about the treatment. i have no interest in learning just to control my emotions so that i don't look crazy to others. i just don't want to feel these emotions at all anymore.

I don't know much about bpd, but I've heard by different friends that it's highly curable. One of them linked me this video about it, maybe you have already seen it, but just in case it can help you

i haven't seen this, i'll check it out. i hope this is true

I'm Bipolar type 1.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my mid thirties.
I always knew there was something wrong with me, but could never figure out what it was until I was diagnosed.
Bpd ruined a lot of good things in my life up until then, and even now.
I personally don't think it is possible to live a fulfilling life with bpd.
Just my own personal opinion.

yeah, that's what i feel too. i just can't imagine an entire life being incredibly unstable and sick like this, completely at the whim of everything that happens around you with no control or sense of stability within yourself. 60-70 more years of a life like this doesn't feel like it could be sustainable and the thought of it makes me want to leave immediately.