Discussion is it cruel or is it better to CTB when your loved ones are at a high point in their lives

[february in alaska]

In my case, my parents. Both of them are doing so much better in life recently. Talking about how they're the happiest they've ever been, and it always makes my heart sink because I know I'm going to be the one to ruin that. But I also wouldn't want to put them through this when they were already dealing with a lot of other bad stuff. I know that ultimately the timing will never be good, it's going to devastate them either way. Fuck. I need to stop worrying about them, I need to let myself be selfish. It just hurts to think about

 

[reallysleepy]

I personally think it's better if they are on a good moment of their life, if they are already feeling low or with a lot of issues, this could be just too much.
I also think that you wouldn't be selfish, it's not your responsibility how other people react and you can't keep living out of guilt. At least, that's what I tell myself.

I hope you can find peace of mind soon ❤

 

[FlyAwayHoney]

There's a quote from a poem I like that stuck with me. "It is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever".

I think when it comes down to my time, I will probably try to avoid any major holidays or around someone's birthday. But at the end of the day, no time will really be "better" than another.

It's tough.

 

[february in alaska]

"It is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever"

Man. That's a good quote to describe it. my heart hurts lmao

 

[littlelungs]

There's a quote from a poem I like that stuck with me. "It is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever".

I think when it comes down to my time, I will probably try to avoid any major holidays or around someone's birthday. But at the end of the day, no time will really be "better" than another.

It's tough.

I came here to express the exact same sentiments, although you put it much more eloquently and concisely than I could have. Also, that's a great quote.

It's just one of those things that's going to be rough on the people who love and care about us no matter what, unfortunately. That's a big part of why I've lived this long despite all of the pain, illness and deterioration that just comes with existing with all of these issues, because a large chunk of my preparations are based around trying to make the whole thing as least painful as possible for others (or at least, as much as one can with something like this), but everything is so difficult and time-consuming precisely due to the severity of my issues that are behind my desire to die in the first place. I have absolutely no ambivalence or fear regarding my own death, but I absolutely hate the thought of causing anybody pain or inconvenience, but my own pain is just too relentless and severe, with no cure or adequate means of respite even remotely within reach, and existing like this indefinitely is just not sustainable or bearable. When the time comes, I'll at least be able to honestly say that I did my best and held out for as long as I could have, but I just couldn't wait forever, and I couldn't keep suffering like this to protect other people's feelings (even though I spent 20+ years doing exactly that, and largely at my own expense). There's only so much a person can take, and I can only hope that they will understand that, even in the midst of their grief.

People love to say that suicide is selfish, but they don't realize how much time and thought people – who are already in an incredible amount of pain – often put into something like this when it comes to how it could affect other people and subsequently trying to figure out how to "lessen the blow" as much as possible, and in any way possible. It's just a really tough thing all-around, no doubt about it.

 

[ForeverBroken]

For me, I was going to ctb yesterday. Literally. But my husband has so much to deal with right now. He just started a new job and is trying to figure it out. His father had a stroke almost 2 weeks ago and our one son is having issues. I want to go but I think this would be too much for him. I'm not sure when I will go. I'm trying to tough it out but it's hard.