Is it better to be unemotional than overly dramatic?

[Water-Lily]

I've been seeing how overly dramatic/sensitive my reactions are

I can take a small situation that isn't bad and start being suicidal and angry and shit.

When people point out how dramatic I am towards a person/minor situation, I feel stupid

So I'm trying to be stiff and unemotional

If I prevent myself from having dramatic reactions then people won't find a reason to point out my flaws

They won't say "you're dramatic" or "you have a problem" or "you're going form 0-100"

I won't hear anymore complains or issues

I won't give people a reason to label or critique me

So even if a situation does suck and warrant a reaction, I won't react

 

[nightlygem]

This sounds a lot like what I deal with as well. I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, which unfortunately makes life very difficult to live. I feel every emotion possible, while also feeling absolutely zero emotions. It's a constant rollercoaster.
I've concluded that there are people in my life who don't deserve to see my emotions. For example, I am completely emotionless and numb around my family. My family has been very toxic and unfair to me, so I don't want to give them the satisfaction of my emotion.
I show my very emotional self to my loved ones and friends who I know can handle me.

A family member has observed this and called me "fake", but as long as it keeps me from going insane I couldn't care less.

Whatever works for you, just know you're not alone. This sucks, but it won't be like this forever.

 

[Water-Lily]

This sounds a lot like what I deal with as well. I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, which unfortunately makes life very difficult to live. I feel every emotion possible, while also feeling absolutely zero emotions. It's a constant rollercoaster.
I've concluded that there are people in my life who don't deserve to see my emotions. For example, I am completely emotionless and numb around my family. My family has been very toxic and unfair to me, so I don't want to give them the satisfaction of my emotion.
I show my very emotional self to my loved ones and friends who I know can handle me.

A family member has observed this and called me "fake", but as long as it keeps me from going insane I couldn't care less.

Whatever works for you, just know you're not alone. This sucks, but it won't be like this forever.

Tbh I hate the Borderline diagnosis. I find that it hurts more than helps. I wish I could get it off my records but that's a conversation for a different time

Regarding family, I think k it's hypocritical how the ones who abuse are in fact the emotional ones. Yet, where we get judged they get excuses for their behavior

As for friends, I know my friends will drop me eventually. Being dramatic and all. It's only a matter of time before that happens or I shut them out

Society likes women more when they're in control of their emotions. Acting out is not ok and I hate being labeled

 

[Ernest1964]

The Buddhist in me says that being demonstrative emotionally is childish and a sign that my life is out of control. Learning how to still the mind and be in the present has brought a lot of self discipline to my life, something I lacked in my younger days. Maybe do a bit of research? I lived in Thailand for 7 years and for the last 5 of those years I had weekly study sessions with a Buddhist monk. For the most part, it helped me a lot.

 

[Esokabat]

I grew up with a borderline personality disorder mother and as a result, I really can't stand anyone with emotionality, anyone that has any personality traits similar to borderline, it is extremely difficult to be a child of a borderline person. It is trauma after trauma after trauma. And they keep doing this even when they love the child with all their heart. It is a terrible disease and it affects all relationships in the long run, regardless of the presence of love or not. And it is nobody faults. In the case of my mother, there was a very specific thing in her childhood that caused it, it is completely textbook. I at least admire the ones that realize they have it. In my mom's case, she thinks she is perfectly fine and everyone else has the problem, no self awareness at all.

 

[lost_ange2211]

I think finding the middle of unemotional / over dramatic would be the best solution.

Pushing your emotions away is never a good solution, maybe temporary but not long term. You should find a way to learn to deal with those high emotions that occur. Of course if you have judging people around you it is not easy. Maybe in a situation with people try to calm yourself/ your emotions down a bit. Try to be aware of the current emotion and instead of an "dramatic outburst" think about what you feel and state it in a few sentences if you want to share them with the people around you. If not then leave it but remember that at some point those emotions you have suppressed want to be let out so at another time, when you are on your own, take your time for those emotions and give them space and let them be for a bit. Being in balance with your emotions and aware of them at any point to figure out what you wanna do is the goal you should really aim for in my opinion.

 

[Water-Lily]

I think finding the middle of unemotional / over dramatic would be the best solution.

Pushing your emotions away is never a good solution, maybe temporary but not long term. You should find a way to learn to deal with those high emotions that occur. Of course if you have judging people around you it is not easy. Maybe in a situation with people try to calm yourself/ your emotions down a bit. Try to be aware of the current emotion and instead of an "dramatic outburst" think about what you feel and state it in a few sentences if you want to share them with the people around you. If not then leave it but remember that at some point those emotions you have suppressed want to be let out so at another time, when you are on your own, take your time for those emotions and give them space and let them be for a bit. Being in balance with your emotions and aware of them at any point to figure out what you wanna do is the goal you should really aim for in my opinion.

Maybe i should pick back up journaling. Or engage in ground exercises when im alone. If I'm not going to talk to people, I can at least engage in self care when I have space to myself

Because as you said, those feelings will come out eventually. It's so hard finding a balance

 

[ctbcat]

overdramatic is much, much better, even if society is less kind to it. it is always better to have capability of feeling, even if that capability is bigger than the usual person's.

i saw a girl i guess i could consider 'dramatic' a few days back - i found myself jealous of her. i'm not the most anhedonia'd fucker out there, i find i can still feel mild things, but seeing an outburst of hers made me wish i could cry that cathartically, be that explosive.

i'd say embrace the overdramaticness.... i guess that's just my onesided interpretation though. i know it's difficult to do such. but i think it's much more valuable

i am in a brain that is scared of feeling anything and it's shit. i'm still miserable anyway

 

[tired12345]

I agree, lack of emotion lacks life, over showing emotion shows lack of control of one's life, neither are better than the other, as another poster said, the middle ground is where most people would like to be, but unfortunately for lots of us on here we've either no emotion and are dead inside or out of control on the other side of our illness.

 

[lost_ange2211]

Maybe i should pick back up journaling. Or engage in ground exercises when im alone. If I'm not going to talk to people, I can at least engage in self care when I have space to myself

Because as you said, those feelings will come out eventually. It's so hard finding a balance

That sounds like a good idea! Just try out different things and continue doing what works best for you or combine them occasionally.

I agree finding balance is very difficult, but working towards it is a good step!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well society would prefer that nobody ever be dramatic or show too much emotion for any reason. Unfortunately most of the worst overdramatic and hyper emotional outbursts that have ever happened in human history have come from repressing emotions to a point where they had nowhere else to go and had to come out in large doses. Trying to suppress these emotions directly leads to them coming out in ways other people can't stand. It's better to just find some kind of outlet to let the emotions out consistently and safely.