Is it anhedonia or something else?

[NoPoint2Life]

Sometimes I wonder why I feel the way I do.
Yes, I'm depressed, but not nearly as bad as some people here. I have severe OCD and go for exposure therapy for it. I have made some progress and have had these thoughts many times within the past year: when I decide I don't want to do something, what is the cause?
As far as chores around the house that used to consume my OCD I was able to stop doing some. But I wonder if it's because the treatment is working or if I'm just getting lazy from all these years of being exhausted from my OCD. Or am I getting more depressed than I realize? I don't think I fit the true definition of anhedonia- mostly because I still like to do the simple stuff like I still enjoy watching TV and reading a lot. (And lately I have this weird obsession of Watching old sitcoms from the 80s and 90s. Sometimes I swear it's the highlight of my day)
I have noticed lately an increase in me just not wanting to be challenged. For instance, I get this newsletter every day with a word puzzle at the bottom and I no longer have any interest in doing it. I used to play Candy crush obsessively. I haven't played in several months, I got sick of it. I used to like doing jigsaw puzzles, but the one that I have currently been in the middle of which I have not worked on for months and months just became too challenging and I gave up from lack of motivation. Last week I tried to quit my exposure therapy. I didn't feel I was capable of making any more progress and it's like I'm not willing to be challenged anymore and feel uncomfortable.( long story short, I did not fully quit. Just going once a week now.)
And then there is boredom. I have no desire to leave the house, but I can't really say that it's because of my OCD anymore, it's like I just can't be bothered and there's nothing interesting enough to make me want to venture out. I have wound up with more time on my hands, which is more time to get bored. I go to bed earlier and earlier every night because by that point I am just sick of watching TV or reading and sleep is a relief so I can't wait to have that time where I am at peace.
Does anyone else ever have thoughts like these?

 

[Darkover]

It sounds like you're dealing with a mix of emotions and experiences that are common for people navigating depression, OCD, and possibly some burnout. What you're describing doesn't quite sound like full anhedonia, which is more about losing the ability to feel pleasure in any activity, even ones you previously loved. It seems that while some interests have faded, you still find enjoyment in simpler activities like watching TV and reading.

Several factors could be contributing to what you're feeling:

1. Mental Fatigue and Burnout: OCD can be incredibly exhausting, especially when it has been a part of your life for years. Exposure therapy can also be mentally demanding, even as it helps you. Burnout could make it harder to feel motivated, leading to a sense of disinterest or wanting to avoid challenges. It's possible that you're subconsciously pulling back from things that feel demanding because you've had to spend so much mental energy on your OCD.
2. Depression: While you may not experience all the classic symptoms of depression, it can still manifest as a lack of motivation, increased desire for rest or isolation, and diminished interest in activities that require effort or problem-solving. The avoidance of challenges and wanting to quit therapy could be a sign of this, especially since depression often makes us feel like we're not capable of improving or growing.
3. Reduced Stimulation and Focus on Comfort: Sometimes, after a long period of dealing with high stress or anxiety, people develop a preference for low-stimulation, comfortable activities. Watching nostalgic sitcoms, for instance, can be a soothing and comforting escape. The desire to avoid challenges, whether in therapy or with things like puzzles, may be a way of subconsciously trying to protect yourself from stress.
4. Boredom and the Need for Novelty: When we stop finding joy in things we used to enjoy, it can sometimes be a sign that we need something new to spark our interest. If your days are filled with familiar routines and you're feeling reluctant to leave the house, boredom might start to set in. This can even happen when we spend a lot of time doing what feels easy but lack more engaging or fulfilling experiences.
5. Reflection on Progress: It's natural to wonder if the changes you're noticing, like no longer feeling as driven by OCD rituals, are due to progress or something else. It's a positive sign if you're doing fewer chores that once felt compulsive. At the same time, easing up on yourself after years of exhaustion doesn't mean you're lazy—it could simply mean you're reserving energy for things that feel more meaningful.

 

[I’mSoTired]

It seems like just the classic depression signs to me, but I'm not the best person to go to for 'normal'. It might just be worsening, which doesn't mean you're not making improvement. That sounds contradictory, but remember, recovery is not a linear progression. You still have a little hope left. Don't let that go.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

It sounds like you're dealing with a mix of emotions and experiences that are common for people navigating depression, OCD, and possibly some burnout. What you're describing doesn't quite sound like full anhedonia, which is more about losing the ability to feel pleasure in any activity, even ones you previously loved. It seems that while some interests have faded, you still find enjoyment in simpler activities like watching TV and reading.

Several factors could be contributing to what you're feeling:

1. Mental Fatigue and Burnout: OCD can be incredibly exhausting, especially when it has been a part of your life for years. Exposure therapy can also be mentally demanding, even as it helps you. Burnout could make it harder to feel motivated, leading to a sense of disinterest or wanting to avoid challenges. It's possible that you're subconsciously pulling back from things that feel demanding because you've had to spend so much mental energy on your OCD.
2. Depression: While you may not experience all the classic symptoms of depression, it can still manifest as a lack of motivation, increased desire for rest or isolation, and diminished interest in activities that require effort or problem-solving. The avoidance of challenges and wanting to quit therapy could be a sign of this, especially since depression often makes us feel like we're not capable of improving or growing.
3. Reduced Stimulation and Focus on Comfort: Sometimes, after a long period of dealing with high stress or anxiety, people develop a preference for low-stimulation, comfortable activities. Watching nostalgic sitcoms, for instance, can be a soothing and comforting escape. The desire to avoid challenges, whether in therapy or with things like puzzles, may be a way of subconsciously trying to protect yourself from stress.
4. Boredom and the Need for Novelty: When we stop finding joy in things we used to enjoy, it can sometimes be a sign that we need something new to spark our interest. If your days are filled with familiar routines and you're feeling reluctant to leave the house, boredom might start to set in. This can even happen when we spend a lot of time doing what feels easy but lack more engaging or fulfilling experiences.
5. Reflection on Progress: It's natural to wonder if the changes you're noticing, like no longer feeling as driven by OCD rituals, are due to progress or something else. It's a positive sign if you're doing fewer chores that once felt compulsive. At the same time, easing up on yourself after years of exhaustion doesn't mean you're lazy—it could simply mean you're reserving energy for things that feel more meaningful.

Thanks for all your insight, I really appreciate it :)