Is it an if or a when you CTB

[ddn.ctb]

Ever since I was a teenager when I attempted but failed. It has always been a when. No if about it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I want it to be a when as I would prefer to cease existing on my own terms but sadly we exist in this anti-suicide society where suicide is purposely made as difficult as possible. Suicide barely feels like an option when for me all the methods are either inaccessible or risky, it's so disgusting how we cannot just instantly leave this existence in peace whenever we wish to.

 

[backtoearth]

I've been attempting since I was 16 - so definitely when. I cannot imagine myself living until old age

 

[アホペンギン]

I have been doubting for a few years when I started thinking about ctb, I thought there was still a possibility to get better because I still possessed the pro-lifer mindset. Now its just a when, the clock is ticking.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

It's not if but when I ctb. Every bit of injustice , pain, threat ,problem , evil in this world I will use as fuel to build my courage and rage to work at defeating the programed in me addictions, doubts , "si" etc. and win the final victory to non-existence forever.

Once I reach non-existence then I'll have no pain , problems , suffering , worries , fears, forever....

It's extremely difficult to achieve because of all the restrictions of the anti-suicide society , distractions , disabilities, addictions, lack of focus, and how these made me non-fucntional in this world . but I'll find a way , somehow someway to win the final victory and escape this prison.

 

[The Burning Fool]

One of the main reasons it's a when for me is that it's also an if for all of us. Some kind of accident or illness torturing and killing me first is a very real possibility. By dying in such a way, I'd have to experience years of waking nightmare many have lived through. Life is too risky, death is safe. I'm too smart to keep exposing myself to danger.

 

[DeathSleep]

It's a matter of when for me. I will eventually succeed.

 

[KillMeh]

At this point I don't even know. As much as I want to, the more I postpone it the harder it gets to fucking get to it. Hope I snap

 

[Pyxel]

A matter of when. Hopefully set up my last week perfectly before my ctb releases me of this world.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

Very likely a when. I don't see life as something meaningful or worth continuing. I'm not on the "right path" which supports most people to live a whole life. Inevitable decay due to old age is definitely a no to me, nor is something like terminal diseases acceptable. Therefore it's very likely that I'm not waiting for my natural death to free me. I'll go whenever I feel completely ready and comfortable.

 

[pole]

when.

wish i had a fast-forward option and could jump to WHEN it'd be the best time for me to go instead of just waiting and waiting and waiting till it's time.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

One of the main reasons it's a when for me is that it's also an if for all of us. Some kind of accident or illness torturing and killing me first is a very real possibility. By dying in such a way, I'd have to experience years of waking nightmare many have lived through. Life is too risky, death is safe. I'm too smart to keep exposing myself to danger.

I agree . And there is no objective reason to expose yourself to danger and risks of life and this world , not to mention injustice , diseases , old age , stroke , cancer, dementia, oppresion, unfairness, attacks, accidents, brain damage, kidney stones, kidnapping torture, 1000 other horrible things that can trap you into a nightmare hell on Earth

imo a large percentage of people end up in this nightmare hell on Earth in nursing homes :

Who By Very Slow Decay

[Trigger warning: Death, pain, suffering, sadness] I. Some people, having completed the traditional forms of empty speculation – “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, &#8220…

slatestarcodex.com

 

[kindalone]

I want it to be a "when" but it's really more of an "if" right now which sucks because it just means I have to suffer more until it finally sinks in.

 

[JustBreathing]

It used to be an if but now it's really just a when. Of course I could always get in an accident or get sick but if that's not the case I will hopefully ctb soon.

 

[vennnice999]

100% when. I´m pretty dead set on sometime early 2024 so I have enough time to give/sell off the majority of my possessions.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

only a matter of time. If i dont CTB ill eventually go crazy, end up homeless and just die on the street

 

[maidens]

whenever I can. I don't have access to any reliable methods, but I hope to ctb as soon as I get the chance, as long as SI doesn't prevent it ...

 

[heavyeyes]

Definitely a when. I can't imagine living another 30+ years in this hell

 

[strawb12]

Definitely a when. I don't have any plans to ctb soon but there's no way I'm living my full life.

 

[Jormungandr on Coke]

It's a when, when I stop being a coward

 

[sserafim]

It's a when…I don't want to live past 25 so I'll make sure to be gone by then. My limit went from 18 to 25 because I didn't act on it the first time and time passed me by, so I'll make sure to go before the exit point I've set for myself. 25 is the max

Ever since I was a teenager when I attempted but failed. It has always been a when. No if about it.

I've thought about it ever since I was a teenager but never got around to attempting it…it was more of a passive ideation. I never had the courage to attempt

Definitely a when. I can't imagine living another 30+ years in this hell

Ikr! I can't even imagine living another 2 years

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

It's mostly a when at this point. I want to die but know that I can't currently given my situation.

 

[Minsu]

Definitely when

 

[sserafim]

Definitely a when. I don't have any plans to ctb soon but there's no way I'm living my full life.

Me neither, I'm checking out before 25

 

[Kall]

Forme it is an if: if I fail in life (currently I am in university) I die

 

[bestroper]

idk within 3 year? hopely.

 

[Kokonoe]

It's just a when for me. And hopefully it's soon.