Venting is it always going to be this way?

[internetgrime]

I'm poor, sick, and a terrible person. I'm in between asking my bf for help and just drinking pesticide. I want to live, but it's so hard, everything is so hard. I thought it would be better when I moved out but his mom moved in with us and she's awful and we're so fucking broke and I can't afford to get myself or my cat medical treatment. I'm so alone and scared and stressed and I just want to relax. I want to be told it'll be okay. I want to BELIEVE it'll be okay.