is happiness worth it?

[freecoffee]

Good things come to an end; it's how life works out. Every chance encounter that develops into any kind of relationship, whether it be romantic or even just friendship, will always end in a breakup of some sort. A good book or show brings with it several hours of joy, only to be followed by, again, an inevitable return to searching for something else that could make you feel anything at all. I've heard time and time again that it's the memories that make these transitory happy moments worthwhile, but I feel like, when they come by so infrequently, happy moments end up hurting more than anything else.

As long as the world keeps throwing obstacles in my way, keeping me miserable, I can tell myself that's all there is to the world. It's a painful state to being, but believing that suffering is inevitable is kind of peaceful in a way, and it would definitely make the decision to CTB significantly easier. But then, one day something good happens, and that illusion is shattered. When you realize better does exist, that happiness is possible, even if it's through the slightest glimpse of it, you can't help but want more. It makes you realize how pitiful you are. It makes the painful moments hurt all that much more in their stark contrast to the joy you could possibly be feeling.

So why should I go on in search of happiness when I know that every good thing that comes my way is going to come to an inevitable end and make those moments where happiness is nowhere to be found so much more painful?

 

[jodes2]

I've been in a relationship for 10 years now, it's the most stable thing I've had in my life besides my dad an an interest in music and DJing. Some things can last quite a long time but it is quite rare. I haven't had a friend in 20 years and my longest friendship was 5 years long. Some people manage to get a collection of interests that overlap and keep them happy, I guess that's the trick. But it's difficult when ones behaviour doesn't lend itself to that. One has to come to terms with the fact that things come and go, and not to feel dejected by the fact that good things do come to an end. One needs to try and think positively, " good things will come again" and use that to stave off bad times and be resilienct. But you're not pitiful. Just suffering. We must try and look forward to good times. And have CTB in reserve only for when the shit really hits the fan. Having CTB in reserve can bring a kind of resilience, "I could do it if I really need to".

 

[never mind me]

I certainly agree with the CTB option working as a means of reassurance.
Yes, happyness is only temporary, but that's true for unhappyness, too. Everything passes. So why not enjoy the good moments while they last? And it can also be calming to know that no matter how bad your life is, it will be over one day, so you won't be suffering forever. Even if you find yourself in a situation where you don't manage to ctb (like in jail or a psychiatric ward or because of serious physical handicaps), eventually you will either die or get out of the situation in some other way. For me this thought brings me plenty of comfort, as it seems to be the only real safety one can ever have in life. That's why I don't get the reiigious folks who actually (want?!) to believe in an eternal life.

 

[dreamscape1111]

"Security and happiness cannot be found in anything that comes and goes. Find whatever it is in your experience that doesn't appear, move, change or disappear, (the witness/awareness) and invest your identity, security and happiness in that alone."

― Rupert Spira

"Looking for happiness in the body, mind or world is like looking for the screen in a movie. The screen doesn't appear in the movie, and yet, at the same time, all that is seen in the movie is the screen. In the same way that the screen 'hides' in plain view, so happiness 'hides' in all experience."

― Rupert Spira

In other words, Peace and Happiness, (capitalized because permanent), are inherent in Consciousness, that which is witnessing all thoughts, feelings, perceptions and sensations. Consciousness, what we truly are, is inherently at peace and happy because it is intimately one with all experience. Before we know anything, we are aware, that awareness is eternal, ever-present, and knows no lack since it is utterly fulfilled by totally loving and accepting every moment just as it is, and embraces everything as its own Self!

edit: But to realize that we'd first have to take up some sort of voluntary spiritual practice or discipline like meditation and preferably also read from nonduality or spiritual teachers.

 

[Kattt]

Remember that happiness is just a series of small moments when we can feel contented. An extended period of happiness is called "mania". But even those who appear to have everything they could want and need live lives that are predominantly pretty dull. Everyone also experiences periods of utter despondency.
Happiness couldn't exist without the rest for comparison.
When we lie do leave this world, all we get to take with us if we're lucky are those small, happy memories and a bunch of regrets.
Happiness is the one and only thing that matters. But we need to have realistic expectations.